Long Hocus pocus Poems

Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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You're so far away from me and I suck trying to go slow when I know
I wanna snatch you up, bail you out, and take us to our new home
It's hard when I'm alone in...

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A former friend of mine
tricked me into becoming
something I am not

The volunteer President
of our condo association,
a position I clearly cannot afford
midst trifling disassociations.

We were starting our Autumn tradition
of arguing about next year's budget
which typically continues
until...

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“a mute tongue is a slave to silence” - Silent One

You rouse the proud, sung praise all wowed
     Who draws the crowd and plays so loud?
Sway befits a rock star jam
...

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A bullfrog and a butterfly both chanced upon each other.
‘My dear, you are an ugly beast!’ the bullfrog dared to utter.
‘Why froggy,’ gasped the butterfly, astounded by his words.
 ‘My beauty is unparallel while yours...

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Non labor (relations) day September 1st, 2023 poem

Aye dream of Genie (as a lad din)
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
deployed courtesy scholar
really...a boot nuttin
butta an overrated allay
zee good for...

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Whispering Angel: Strength of the Babes


		Blubbering baby, newborn to this Earth 
		Tell me why you wail and blubber at birth?
___________________________________________________

Could you be afraid of this Earthly Circus?
Well, don’t be afraid and don’t be nervous.
I shall...

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TRUMP POEMS AND EPIGRAMS I

These days Trump's fraudian slip is always showing. — Michael R. Burch aka “the Loyal Opposition”

Trump seems to prefer demon-crazy to democracy.— Michael R. Burch

Under Trump American democracy is going the...

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To Crush Mar a Lago Estate, and lower the Economic debt ceiling...

Now that DACA docked amidst 
marshy tidal outskirts of Poker flats 
(readied to be sunk) off shore 
(beach combing divers – ectoplasmic flotsam 
glorying...

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Yukon just coon sitter me a copacetic, energetic, ironic language lover (English is ma lingua franca late mother tongue), who waxes poetic, but tall so one babbling, creaking, and dabbling dis arming marine naval (gazing)...

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“Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.” - Woody Allen

When I was much younger, previous decades seemed so distant, so far away. To me these older and impossible decades existed only...

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The force of my thoughts is a force to report,
Attention, no Deficit, Hyperactive, no Disorder, call it slaughter
when Hyperfocus onslaughts play hocus pocus with my thoughts,
a tornado, a hurricane a monsoon loom and taunt
a brainstorm...

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Lickety-split, I sit up and look at the clickety clock,
      oh my gosh, why am I lollygagging in this cozy bed;
I am going to be so late for dance class,...

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When I enrolled in magical school
Ma said good luck
Dad called me a fool

He always thought with my IQ
I’d fix people up,
Not saw them in two.

But I had a vision
And my self esteem
Hung on the balance
Of...

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Tis quite a beast of burden to bear atlas (shrug off not allowed)
Atlas shrugged an impossibility
tantamount to skinny dipping in the lock nest lagoon

Tantamount to shrugging Atlas off mine bony, 
   ill suited,...

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Nearly ten o'clock, Capitol Hill, inside the SCIF (specially designed for classified purpose): House Intelligence Committee chairman Adam Schiff was hosting an esoteric hearing featuring a deposition with Defense Department official Laura Cooper as part...

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uniting farcical flocks all over the world,
gregarious garments, talismans & 
little good luck charms required by religions
to ward off “evil spirits,” to separate man
from “god,” or to just protect the fuzzy sheep
from the rest of...

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I guess I was left alone after sixth grade, wandering my way.
You believed in me, offered up openings and let me say
what I would and delve into the sun and world and stay
and even you...

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Still at times I can be an adolescent, a bit of a brat
I'm always questioning things, though I'm suspicious
I admit there's time's I've been ignorant to even chat
Yeah quit a lot of the time I've...

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Ding. Ding. Goes the sound of the bell.
Soupers see a poetic king emerge from his cell...

You called me a "Whorelock" - define that word punk?!
You're in for a shock - I don't entertain poetic junk!
I...

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I gotta be honest I didn't think we'd go good together

From disliking each other to standing in sub-zero weather

Little did I know I was forever in the prescence of my future wifey

I messed up multiple...

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I don't know what you're really thinking off me.
If this is real thinking I'm not thinking properly.
Everything inside me fights and tries to stop these warnings in mind, was fine and now they got me...

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Aint what I thought you were
                             ...

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Hip-hop hooray !!!
GOD is the dj!!!!
what else can I say..he spins the needle of the record of my soul,
every other record gets old and cold...but this record, his record, is as fly as Gold. 
I...

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