Long Complicated Poems

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Old Man and the Old Spice

I loved that old man. 
A weirdo, and the biggest snob 
I have ever seen,  in my entire life.
 
To be honest, 
he is the stingiest person 
that ever tried to present me 
in a delicate life and death situation. 

He is the first, 
and I think, in ranking, 
The runner up is my oldest sister. 

She is the fiercest bargainer 
I have ever observed in my entire life. 

I was with her once in a supermarket clothing store.
 After a fiasco of showmanship 
 and rehearsal time 
in a mess of piled up yards and feet 
in markin cloth, silk and cotton 
or other kinds of fabrics,
the shopkeeper did surmise, 
“Please take the clothes, and take your money too!” 


He was sweating a lot! And truly sweating was he! 

I had only one sister, 
and I still have her. 
Love hurts too much, 
and it is a complicated one. 
As often it is a non refundable travel time story 
for me just to avoid confrontation,
 
Too much in a frontal way! 

I fell there, fell for her and to her churned up reasons
from my childhood days,,, till today… 
from bed, 
in red, and in a dreadful tread , 
not to see evil, or understand evil, or speak evil too!. 

As it is already hurting… as I already mentioned,
and I mentioned so!  
As they say for a pandora box.
Or to separate the unorthodox.

Nonetheless, you try to be a payless fable. 
And you show less to be humble
and you showcase and it can/ could mumble
For their blessed ones too! Harmless, toothless



What an awful mess ! 
not to be, 
in the higher skill, 
possessed in the self
 as a personified,  he!

Still you do, 
You do it too!
and you know that you do,

and it is better in late coming 
than not coming, at all! 

At least for a downer’s fall!
Nay Paul! Nay Paul!


This Man's Complicated Life

Time has run out
Wish i had prepared
We take for granted the ones in our lives
We carry on our everyday like we have forever
But then reality smacks you in the face
The ones you took for granted are no longer here
My life is a complicated one
But my world was blessed by so few
The ones you will always remember
The Johns The Tims The Chriss The Hectors
The Marthas The Miguels The Dorothys The Joesphines
The Elmers so on and so forth 
The people that no longer here to share your memories
The days so short 
Life placed these few here to reward you
To let you see there is so much more to you then yourself
As i get older i wonder who has took me for granted
I wonder will they ever realize what they have 
The answer harder then the question 
Life is about cherishing every waking moment while you still can 
Pushing to be better in more ways then you know
Remember to pause and truly see what you have in your hands before it becomes to late.
Love every person that is and has been a part ot this man's complicated life.

I'M Getting Away From Something

I'm getting away from something
and denying it uncovers my shameless guilt;
and how weak I am facing the truth,
put some sense in me, a humiliating feeling!

I'm very good at lying, and you can tell I'm a liar
because I don't blush when I'm being scolded,
I deserve it more than mischievous children by far;
I should be humble enough to admit I'm wrong,
if I can't apologize with words, let me apologize in song...
is this the best way to convince you and amend?

I'm getting away from something,
it's too complicated to be explained;
if only pity could change everything,
I would be very happy, not this sad!   

Bring me back to the stark reality,
let me regain my lost dignity;
I need to be forgiven and hugged,
that guy who showed coldness and shrugged
has left and he doesn't own me anymore,
do I deserve to be punished and still implore?
Form: Lyric

Premium Member No Great Mystery

I've tried so hard to live my life
As a caring human being
Don't understand all the conflicts
Solutions are so easily seen

Just do away with all the hate
It doesn't seem too complicated
What a triumph that surely would be
If everyone was dedicated

There I go dreaming again
People must think I'm naive
Don't know why I'm such an optimist
Guess it's just what I believe

Faith that most people are basically good
When offered simple choices
Most times they'll choose the right path to take
Be damned, those dissenting voices

Call me what you will, my friends
I feel much better this way
To me it's no great mystery, my friends
Let all feast on a happy buffet!

© Jack Ellison 2014
Form: Quatrain

A Dream's Nightmare On Reality's Touch

"A dream's nightmare of reality's touch"

Cancer tore my family apart, took away my sanity now l am forever angry.

Raped at thirteen by a man l knew as father, one who chased away my brother because he was mother's.

A life of needles and impaired judgment, lost by the subway of disaster, all my friends victims of genocide.

It's a complicated, cruel, cunning and cold life. A very, very u fair game, only him who gave life to us knows better....

Curse the viper polluting the skies, the only thing l can do through it all is to close NY eyes and ask for strength to make it through the night.


My Self-Ego Ignored

Why do I care more about others than myself?
Isn't a rightful liaison a duty to give away a joy that
isn't perspicuously mine or should it be considered so? 
And that brings up this poignant and perplexing question:
how to cope with criticism and still subdue my self-ego ignored?



Friends approach me and say with a sympathetic tone,
" You need to put aside some time to enjoy yourself,
to detach yourself for a while from the worries,
and troubles you constantly see in everyone;
more than anything else, take care of yourself! "



Would such friendly and egotistic words agree with my humane mentality?
It will make things worse, not better as I move forward to achieve social well-being;
I have been known to have taken the shirt off my back without hesitating,
and provide advice and care even in a small way to ease a friend's burden;
I been called gullible and definitely the nicest person alive unable to tell a lie!


 
Living for others is a commitment obliged by must,
I will gladly divide a loaf of bread and not take a single slice... 
and I will be satisfied only when they are full and smile;
if saints have done that: going to bed hungry to feed the neediest,
shouldn't I act in the same way, instead of looking away and not serenely sleep? 
 


Many not agreeing with me, may come forward with their vague view;
I will tell them without complicated words...without explaining actions for doing such deeds;
nobody will sway me from acting on instinct when the needy's courage is not bold...
selfishness is a shameful attitude in front of poverty...an ugly word, a presumed virtue! 
Let them wonder and be amazed how I choose generosity over my self-ego ignored! 
 

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Ccrisci

Premium Member In A World Where I Do Not Exist

 

Where I do not exist there is emptiness,
a world with no little girl gathering blooms;
no child born a poet full of awareness,
no dark poems about cemetery tombs.
Not a word written of life and all my glooms,
oh, terrible to think of no consciousness;
and no young woman who painted and hummed tunes.
Oh, what of my mom and dad and my grandma;
no forest walks holding hands with my grandpa !

My true essence floats in an infinite space,
long lush hair floating like a torn tangled dream;
I would have no soft skin, rosy cheeks, pale face,
no husband who had eyes like emerald green.
no verdant views, vaulted trees, vivid sky, place,
floating in a void of clouds I think  ... I scream.
On the tomb no baby name engraved in stone;
for my baby boy was never born I moan !

Hummingbirds hover in my hollow chasm, 
even a speck in void I can find beauty
oh, a world with no me is hard to fathom,
no complicated, poet often moody.
No writing with imagery and phantasm,
oh my gosh I would never be on soupy.
I ponder existence with no poetry;
no fantasy story, no sweet poesy !

Bittersweet

Love:
It's so bittersweet.
It can drag you down but also sweep you off your feet.
It's so complicated,
Leaving one mesmerized.
Despite the tears in your eyes you still 
believe their lies.
Because you love them, and for the sake of love you will hold on.
Finding yourself crying, and singing to every heartbreak song.
But because were to driven by love it becomes hard to see,
that our love for ourselves is the most important company.
You can't hold on to whats also breaking you down.
Smiling in every face that you see but leaving with a frown.
There comes a time when you have to do whats best for you;
not being selfish, but realizing that you have needs too.
L.O.V.E hey what you striding for?
Take your time with your steps and let him come knocking at your door.
There's no need to rush or be the first in line.
Didn't anybody tell you that the best always takes time.
With love comes patience an each one of a kind,
so don't let one little heartbreak, make you lose your mind.
Learn to be independent and know what you need,
don't worry about a man; you got your own mouth to feed.
Listen close to what your heart is telling you,
because it'll never lie, 
even when your mind is consumed.

Premium Member Card Pack Play

Card Pack Play

You should have told me sooner you didn't wish to stay
Not adding more years, as you continued to play
Women are your weakness they fall for your charm
Eyes opened wide I should have listened to bells alarm

To late did I realise your cheating done to me
Plans of being together you would always guarantee
Your lies and games played found, only to be caught
If I had known then I would have left you like a shot

Angry at your contempt and feeling such a fool
Challenged you directly the rows would ensue
Denials and your silence you believed would ebb away
But answers as to why I asked you every day

I'm done, won't be back, lost, gone, forever
Never to be trusted, no happy ever after
Your ego grew manipulated by your selfish ways
Your web of lies more complicated than a mensa maze

No love for you now felt, drowned deep within my tears
The woman I've become is stronger has no fear
Moving on was easy set mind into fifth gear 
Out with friends, having fun, drinking ice cold beer

I heard you still played your cheating lying card 
Faces of many, hidden within your show facade    
you really are a coward, a many coloured chameleon
Way you style words you play talk to the women 

Unknown to them they are your ensuing victims
Cast your charm, fall for you, move on is your system
My heart is healed, forever sealed, no more will be open
Head held high, walk on by, this woman wont be beaten

If I saw you in the street I would smile an say hello
But to me your truly a person I used to know
I will never return I do not seek you back
All are welcome to you I am free from your card pack

If you seek a return for me it will be denied
There is no going back to your created world of lies.

               23.09.20
Form: Rhyme

What I Wish You Knew

Sitting silently here
and listening to you
thinking to myself
what I wish you knew
of how different your life
could actually be
if you would only
listen to me!

When I tell you
what I wish you knew
how much better you'd feel
if I could break through
But you're caught in a cycle
you keep spinning 'round
and I'm trying to pull you out
before you drown
in all your emotions
all this guilt not your own
exaggerated, dramatic
and over-blown

You are used like a puppet
like a toy on their strings
so abused and exploited
for their own selfish things
that it feels overwhelming
too complicated to comprehend-
and you're much too frustrated
too exhausted to pretend
that you believe anymore
in those fairy tale endings
holding on to your sadness
depression defending

What I wish you knew
what I wish you could see
How I was like you
how I came to be free...
How I stopped taking blame
for another one's shame
How I firmly took hold
of the things I control
How I recognized the difference
and let the rest go!

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