Long Caterer Poems

Of thee virtual netherland...
courtesy one spellbound wordsmith
within apartment b44
nestled within a manor
(and manner of writing)
atop nondescript Schwenksville highland.

All gibbets zing aside
I got noose for you,
yours truly enjoys harmless chide
ding even kibitizing about,
when cessation of consciousness...

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Bendy old whales taste like snails doing a backflip. But swarms of over eighty nine peonies are closely followed by nine bulls, an elephant tribe, a beetle colony and a party of laughing butterflies. Whose...

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alternately titles: I got noose for you,
Yours truly doth garrotte tee
another itsy bitsy, 
betsy wetsy easy breezy read.

oft times ('specially 
these latter unsainted days and nights) 
in white satin:
death doth haunt me atheistic zeitgeist
which thoughts...

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He expressed the need for
her to be more efficient.He
wanted her to know that she
was best at what she did and her
voice and personality could make her
affords, to be the most successful in her craft.
She believed...

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oft times ('specially 
   these latter un-sainted days and nights) 
   death doth haunt me zeitgeist
which thoughts of my demise
 
   crowds out purposeful thinking  
  ...

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Is the show over yet cause I’m barely alive
seemingly upset but overjoyed with a new sense of accomplishment
Has rushed
Over me
Over you
Over anyone within a ten block radius

An orchestrated string of events being pulled in by...

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Inside familiar folds of my hanging apron
I encounter a blinkless miniature figurine
Glossy, posable, plastic as a Lego creation
Loyal component of kitchen enforces routine 

Breakfast allures with buttery muffins toasted
Lunch- a- lot predicts sandwich towers teetering
Dinner...

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I hate wet socks.
I'm knee-deep with diapers floating by.
The steel stairs steps (that go up!) 
Just 10 feet from me.
Seawater pouring in from every orifice.
I'd be dead already if I had not bribed the head...

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She was the shrink
I was crazy
Depressed is the clinical name
All I wanted was a blood bath
With me as the victim
Perhaps a leap from a tall building (I’m afraid of heights)
Or a good old fashion hanging...

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Eight million years ago
	In the mountains of Peru
Solanum tuberosum,
	Common ‘spud’ to me and you,
Was discovered by a native,
	This I tell you for it’s true
		There is nothing a potato cannot do.

This may come as a surprise...

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O Women, the mothers and sisters,
That the world can treat you like this!
You were heroes from the start
When you left your father's house
Aiming to build your own nest.
This you'd do in a foreign land,
The home...

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Always arrive last and leave first
Be present, but not the life of the party
Come bearing a gift for the hostess,
Don’t spill your drink on the sofa.
Eat the hors d’oevres sparingly
Forget not to thank profusely,
Give high...

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An upstart Washington socialite sought 
advice from one whose reputation brought
a guarantee of unqualified success.
For drinks, she advised with emphatic stress,
no alcohol, please – since over-imbibers 
would need to get home by sober drivers.
And why...

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Navy and dishes 

I had kitchen duty on a fateful day
when the dishwasher exploded with an almighty bang.
just as I reflected on the irony as the only one trained as
a caterer I had to the...

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 Cats got yo tongue,
	catwalks, runs stalks prowls;
	Meow!
        Catheads catalog catlike people.
	Meow, yet they smell cationic;
	Cats got yo tongue!
	
	
	
        Catlings catmints...

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Walking on the newly wetted ground,
After a long spell of Winter drought,
I ponder how rain never fails to astound:
This valuable shower we can't do without!

As I tread on the browne'd earth
Browned by the shower of...

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On holidays I want a meal
That’s home-made through and through,
Composed from all the recipes
My mom and grandmas knew;

The preparations lovingly
Created in the kitchen 
(Although, to be quite honest,
There might be a little *****in’).

The shopping, chopping,...

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Just how I wander
For them to wonder
The till's early, but my fill is still
I find the chaff play catch like infant staff-
This, a weight I wait
But, those beams fill my plate

It seems there be none
Not...

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