Long Bringing up Poems
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Have you ever done something bad,
That really hurt someone you love,
Or has someone ever done something bad,
That really hurt you,
And no matter how much you or they apologize,
The pain just doesn’t seem to go anywhere?
Do you find yourself holding on,
To a pain that in your heart, is inexcusable?
And even though the offender has promised,
To make things better and prove their worth,
You know deep down,
You’re not over the pain that was caused?
Think of it this way.
If you are still holding onto anger, bitterness, resentment,
Any kind of negativity….
You’re NOT showing that you want to heal,
You’re showing that the person who did harm unto you….
Has CONTROL over your emotions….
You’re showing that you would rather live in the past,
Than in the present….
You’re showing that by holding onto anger and hatred….
You are hurting someone, and it’s NOT the offender….
It’s YOURSELF!
And every time you have a talk,
Bringing up the pain that has settled in your heart,
You’re not hurting anyone but yourself.
The longer you walk around with it in your heart,
The more you’re hurting yourself.
The more you speak of the anger, the bitterness, the resentment….
The more you’re hurting yourself.
Ask yourself this….
What if GOD held anger in His heart,
For the things we have done wrong?
What if He spoke about how angry He is?
What if He spoke about how even though He forgave us….
He would STILL throw our wrongdoings in our faces daily?
What we, as children of God, have to remember….
Is that He takes ALL, not some, ALL of our iniquities,
All of our wrongdoings, all of our mistakes, ALL of our dirty deeds,
Places them under His holy foot, and casts them into the sea of forgetfulness!
It’s in His word, that He WILL forgive us our trespasses….
So, if God can take our wrongdoings, forgive us, and toss them away,
WHY CAN’T WE DO THE SAME?
We can’t call ourselves loving the Lord, but hold onto anger.
You can’t be an angry Christian.
You can’t be holy, and be filled with hatred.
If God can forgive us, and not throw what we’ve done in our faces,
Then we should be able to do the same for one another….
“He will turn again, He will have compassion upon us; He will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.” (Micah 7: 19)
This week I have been in much thought about my wife and our marriage of 39 years*. I have noted and deeply considered the power and impact of 'history' in both the maintenance and long endurance in a marital relationship. The future is projected to be one of hope and vision, one of anticipation and eager planning. Although nothing beyond the 'now' is guaranteed in the 'tears' ahead, in sweet peace and harmony is where one would like to be in the 'years' ahead.
I heard a story of two gentlemen engaged in a conversation about their wives. One said, "When my wife gets upset with me, she always gets 'historical' ". In an attempt to correct his friend, the other gentleman said, "I think that you meant to say that she gets hysterical". The reply was, "No, I mean 'Historical'. She's always bringing up the past". With that in mind, I want to make it clear that I am talking about history and not hysterics.
Part of the beauty of mariage is the planning and dreams that we make for ourselves and prayerfully seek their reality. We also seek to leave some kind of legacy for our children. Notwithstanding, there is that which is behind us that can thrust us forward. Experiences and memories, both pleasant and otherwise can be harnessed and utilized to rocket us into future joys and successes. It is often the triumps and sometimes the failures in our past that inspire us to future success. What we draw from such experiences gives us confidence for future growth and developement. Yes, we have today. Yes, we had yesterday. Yes, we have this moment; Yes, by grace and faith, we have tomorrow. But indeed, we can look each other in the eyes and say, "We HAVE yesterday; we HAVE a history".
One of the anticipated desires that my wife and I began to treasure as the years flowed by was to 'grow old together'. Many are the obsticles that can hinder and prevent a marriage from achieving such a reality. Nevertheless, it is a real joy and an awareness of God's magnanemous grace when we reach the senior years and begin our 'growing old' together.
31412cjPS *Presently, 2020, 48 years.
Rear view mirror
Objects, objectively put, are closer
than they appear. But it doesn’t say it all.
With the fair signs that spewed forth once turning to
a slew of pre-twitter pseudo- tweets since.
I once put it down In form Octa-Tri :
In rhyme scheme: aab, bb, ccc .
(“ At the wheel
At night. Uneasy feel.
Narrow misses, though, in nobody’s midst.
Rows of reflectors mark lanes glaring through the mist,
Comforting coolness and sultry night coexist .
Cell service zones change, ding-dongs the phone
Heart fluttering alone
Night unknown”.)
A row of earthy images it failed
rather than showed ,images with eerie
librations and weary nutations .Which
was not Physics, but physiognomy of life.
Like when bashed by kiddy badasses and
basic arithmetic, or when up higher ,
combative but math a behemoth
all the same, and guided perfunctorily
often, and rarely with the right intent.
In the peccadilloes- round, the Tintern
Abbey Sycamore also loomed dour sans
creativity , but the three trees on
the low sky made sense , and then on to
T.ds. equations and tedious times
soured by sleep and steep sloth.
Ingenious in fair measure , now turning
ingenuous on the proving grounds , after,
in the space of a couple of cusps of
light and sound mom was no more and we
whimpered and simpered under a dad who cared
but did not seem to, in his straight-faced mode
Then came falsely flashing , faintly fuming ,
slapdash years of machines and mega hertz,
eggs and vegs, sex and senescence to remain
for ever weighed down by the wayside whey.
Bringing-up-kids-banality apart
( fed mainly on meds for just cough that recurred);
preferring palm-frond’s loftiness cum
deprivation to urban up-for-grabs
benefaction; and the mess of docs, deaths
and a mossy crock of living pain since.
And all the dicey way , never patted
but p(f)anned; tweaked , untweaked ; harmed, ex-harmed;
banked on , debunked ; short-changed, sort-of-changed ;
lumbering on , alive and a-slumbering
and if anything wondering if it’s
not all the mirror’s prim fault
which never once showed my face.
NO ONE REALLY CARES
Part 2
With a scheme from a team of human traitors who are unclean,
Straight up extreme and using it in a deceitful way,
Holding KNOWLEDGE of natural law, but manipulated bringing us decay,
May we all someday, see the lies and tainted blatant statements,
If I spoke this way in person, you would probably say to drop it,
So listen closely and see these are natural law compliments,
Right now as you read, Yes this very moment,
You have to agree, you have no spiritual mindful acknowledgement,
To any of my poetically written comments,
This message has been sent and must be put into action but don't rush,
Even this modern day scribe, alive and learning who to trust,
Most of us hide, side with the blind, ignorantly trusting our governments,
Raise the alarm!! Dam it's for real, we don’t even get the hint,
We are inattentive, lack being inventive, so we sit back and don't get this,
Ignorantly we rely on our current structured system,
So its not surprising we collectively invest our minds into everything,
We aren’t seeing, therefore we open the door to negative action,
Because the reality we are living is a huge distraction,
Our interactions of actuality doesn’t impact us enough,
To even contemplate bringing up spiritual investigations which is a must,
We lack legit validity and the understanding of true love,
But some of us have a chance, a little advanced with minds that rush,
Who gather up enough information to start questioning,
Asking "who in the hell, do we really trust"?
Knowledge into action with a robust mind removing the rust,
Starting to see my way forward I wipe off the dust,
With a small thought of disgust, I laugh in joy,
Enjoying what I’m seeing while inner cleaning with no fuss,
So we must trust in ourselves, ask for help from inside,
We are blind but in time we may get a small glimpse,
When we rinse our minds, we gain insight that’s simple,
Your physical body is the temple,
You planted a seed and what's being revealed is the whole apple,
The allegorical story of Adam and eve is factual,
So listen up and go learn about the Natural Law Principles.
Quincy Mac
date written: 22.12.2015
on his deathbed
he stares up at the ceiling---
a stale, supposedly calming
light blue, basks down upon
his now disease ridden body &
with all the tubes pumping
painkillers & poisons into him,
he’s finally fallen into submission,
giving up the last remnants of
resistance to the belief that the
doctor’s have been right all along &
that this thing is a final determinant---
this thing is going to be what
does him in,
probably much sooner than he had
anticipated.
for him, there will be no more trips
home, for him, no faces of family or
friends will be seen---unless they come
to visit of their own accord,
rather, these are the pondering hours,
possibly days,
in which even the gentle clicks & beeps
of the machines beside him
send his fuzzy mind into a series of
stream of consciousness memory waves
which connect pieces of his life
that he could have swore he had forgotten
up until now.
each one is burnt on the wall inside his
skull, each one comes up like brail neath’
the fingers---translating the minute details
of the rising glaring images appearing in
his barely awake state, the whole while
reminding him of the eons which seemed
to stretch themselves out into the years
that now have been rolled up into a bundle
of fleeting, flashing, seconds.
while not all the memories are positive,
as the darkness still creeps in, the fact
remains that an overall peace takes hold
convincing him concretely that there is
no more reason at all whatsoever to
dwell on those places in his head, those
nether regions which brought anguish in
the past & dragged on throughout his
life, bringing up new pain like the enduring
side-effects of a drug---instead, now, the
calming blue above begins to morph into
a gorgeous lake, one which he went fishing
with his father up in the Adirondacks,
when the green canoe was filled with
the essentials of the day (the bait, cokes,
sandwiches & of course, Lay’s sour cream &
onion potato chips) & time seemed to stop
completely, whilst the two of them shared
an afternoon coasting along the quiet waters
of a lake which they solely occupied, taking
turns rowing & casting out in hopes of a
big return.
I really started Meditating in June of last year during a Vipassana Meditation Retreat. By really meditating I mean consistently connecting and doing a practice that resonated with me and made sense.
I never could sit still for that long, it was too difficult, it just didn’t appeal to me. It didn’t make sense logically or experientially to me, and that is the purpose of Vipassana, to balance the two.
The purpose of this meditation is to observe the sensations of the body in silence. To attempt to do this for one hour at a time or however long you can.
It begins with the breathe, observing the inhale and the exhale as it comes and as it goes. Focusing the mind on the breathe, and by focusing the mind, no longer creating thoughts that don’t serve you. Once you focus the mind you can open it up to looking deeper within different parts of yourself. Bringing up things that have been hidden away within yourself, things that lead to illness and imbalance in your body.
Sitting in stillness and watching your body in equanimity is the way to not react to your own reactions and distractions. Thus, when external stimuli attempt to distract your happiness and contentment from moment to moment, you will, ultimately, not react. It will not affect you as much, as quickly or as strongly as it once had.
In the case of illness and Ulcerative Colitis you will not respond to the symptoms as you once had. You will be more relaxed, more aware, and more prepared to deal with the stresses that come, and hopefully they never will, because, through meditation you have calmed the mind, and are better able to recognize the stresses and past stepping stones that have caused the illness to arise in the first place.
A calm mind, means less stress, means more energy on a day to day basis, and you are able to thrive in your health, appreciating the days and years you spend symptom free.
Vipassana is one of the best and most difficult things that I have ever done. Check it our here (Vipassana)
More at : http://brendenpettingill.com/index.php/2017/01/22/ulcerative-colitis-and-meditation/
Dear God,
This is a letter from your ***** daughter.
Wait, hold up did this girl just say *****?
"You are not a child of God!" Someone shouts!
Oh shut up! This is my letter.
Anyway you know I grew up in church
Singing your songs swaying in the pews
Lifting my hands high up
Shouting my praises
Hallelujah Amen!
God is GOOD!
But as I grew older
Just the thought of your name made me squirm
Soon the songs changed pitch
And sounded off key
I couldn't sit through a Sunday school class
Without cringing
When bibles were being handed out I pulled my hand away
Like your word would burn me like hot coals
And soon after that the music completely stopped
I wasn't going to church
I cut ties with my choir boy and flower girl looking friends
I traded Sunday dresses for ripped tights and combat boots
I cut my hair SHORT
I got called a boy
But I wasn't offended
I started looking at boys in a new way
I liked them
Soon after that...I also started looking at girls
I felt the same feeling I felt for boys
I wasn't ashamed...
I was told I should being what they called a "christian"
But I wasn't one
I didn't want to even be one
The name sounded dirty
Foul
I wanted to gag at the sound
Bringing up my past is never good
And you know I still am not a "Christian"
I believe in God, but that doesn't mean "Christian"
No offense big man but your hardcore "followers", these so called Christians, hate me
They are the BIGGEST hypocrites I've met
"Oh we love everyone" they claim
But once they find out the truth about me?
"God hates fags!" "Sinner!" "Blaspheme!"
Your reply?
"SCREW YOU SHE IS MY DAUGHTER TOO!"
Wait can god say screw you?
I guess it doesn't matter I mean you are God.
Personally I think it would be awesome to hear you say screw you
That would make me want to give you a high five
And you know God I realize now
You aren't all bad
I may not have it figured all out
But black or white
Young or old
Boy or Girl
Straight or *****
You love me all the same
With all her love,
Your ***** Daughter :)
P.S. Thanks for the rainbows :)
'Bee' put on a bar-be-que for bringing up the past,
and of course he added drinking. Now the die was caste
for stories bringing laughter from dubious glory days,
when our oats were being sown while living single ways.
Naturally it wasn't long before the 'art of studery' had died,
and leaving all the juicy stamina that our minds provide
for the love of every man’s desire that lasts until the brain,
dissolves into memory loss and cars are not thought of again.
Ah! Those Holdens flashing FJ and the Fords called 'Customline',
that prowled the streets for 'pick ups' who gave a 'come on' sign,
brought back the memories to all that only 'Hilly' could correct,
when mentioning the better Ford - was his beloved Prefect!
But did that bring on laughter and a scowl on 'Hilly's dial,
who set an argument in motion amid comparison and style.
"Customlines" 'Hilly' said "Might lure girls with the V8,
but guzzling 'carby's' kept you broke and always on the slate".
"Hilly's' right" 'Bee' mentioned, and then he added reasons why.
Of course owners of the 'kingmobiles' sed "Yeah nice try!"
But 'Bee' wouldn't let old 'Hilly' down, saying "It was just by chance,
that I realized a Prefect's perfect when we went to a dance".
"And as it happened two sisters were at the dance this night,
and 'Hilly' with his silken style had set their hearts alight.
The rotten 'bugger' took advantage by herding them up there,
and mentioning his stamina would satisfy the pair".
"When they seen his Prefect it's enough to make them swoon.
Of course they let him take them home. But they lived near the ‘moon!’
And if 'Hilly' owned a 'Customline' he would have been a fool,
'cause halfway home he would have found, he'd run out of fuel".
"Later 'Hilly' then convinced me of the Prefect's fuel consumption.
They mustn't cost a thing to run. If I believe in his assumption.
'Hilly' said he'd drove a hundred miles, but I think that he's bluffing!
Because he tried to tell me - he'd driven all that way for 'nuffing".
Mine was not a normal childhood or so I have been told
But I wouldn’t trade one day of it for all of Solomon’s gold
For I have been horseback since I was three years old
My grandpa cut me out a mount, a sturdy Quarterhorse bay
And helped me climb up on top & led me out of harm’s way
They bunched the cows & grandpa said “Bit, you’ll be riding drag today”
I heard a cowboy snicker & I heard another asking “Why?”
Grandpa just said, “She might be a “little bit” but she has a lot of try”
They knew it was best not to argue for he had that gleam in his eye
We must have pushed those cows for ten hot & dusty miles
But I knew not to whine for it wasn’t the cowboy style
So every time Grandpa would look back I’d do my best to smile
Now there are those who’ll tell you that riding drag is no place to be
But though I ate two lifetimes of dust I have to disagree
For I was riding drag for Grandpa & that was good enough for me
Now I’ll never make a roper much to Grandpa’s chagrin
He knew that I’d never rope my way to a jackpot win
I am walking proof that tossing true ain’t genetically built in
He knew with me on drag the day would end without a wreck
For though I might not ever settle one loop on a steer neck
I’d always done what I was asked & earned Grandpa’s respect
Grandpa knew that I would do my best to always make it right
He’d seen me & that old Bay keep the stragglers tucked tight
And he knew that with me on drag they’d all come home at night
I rode that bay for ten spring gathers, bringing up the rear
Some of the cowboys they still snickered but I pretended not to hear
I cared little for what they thought of me & wouldn’t waste a tear
They might think that riding drag was a child’s game to me
But though I ate three lifetimes of dust I have to disagree
For I was riding drag for Grandpa & that was good enough for me
My Dogs have the dreaded multiseasonal EPS syndrome “Eat-Poop-Sleep”.
But not my Dragon, so clever, he’s added mischief to this illustrious heap.
He has our Australian Cattle dog herding the penguins up the street.
The Gutter frogs hop along, checking out future gutters for to keep.
The little Closet Trolls are weighing in, to help exercise the lot down the sidewalks!
They’ve even saddled up our cats, so we can add them, too. What an amazing shock!
Our forest friends and even the friendly bear, disturbs his sleep each day, for this walk.
You ought to see the neighbors run when we come on parade, right down the block.
Tho, it might be Hubby’s Basement Trolls who scare them, as we walk the street.
They’re bringing up the rear. Yes, on Pooper scooping patrol. They are so sweet!
And the little Closet Trolls have convinced every squirrel to taunt the dogs…
By running across the street, and yes, up every single tree, to make them, jump and jog!
Dragon has everyone involved as he wears a sign… for his new project and job…
The sign: “Pet Walking for every pet! We Don’t come Cheap, but we’re not snobs!”
Surprisingly, we now, find pets tied up at all the neighborhood doors…
With money in their collars… waiting to join in all the walks, for sure…
We wander down the street, thru the park, and to the ice cream parlor, with its allure.
Wind, rain, snow, and cold… does not stop this glorious prevail, on it’s tour.
For Dragon loves his ice cream…and the others they do, too, those tasty treats, to procure.
I come along to make sure no one is left out… in this quest for ice cream, de jure.
Eat, Poop, Sleep…Well, to this: I say my lovely peeps…
“Piddle Dee Dee… and Piddle De Dum”
Look Out for Dragon’s business… For Here We Come!
The Dog days of winter… are no longer Hum Drum!
Remember: a dream, using a mind… can create something, quite sublime!