Long Axed Poems

Long Axed Poems. Below are the most popular long Axed by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Axed poems by poem length and keyword.


Housekeeping Not a Strong Suit With the Missus

(***warning ungapatchka language ahead***)

Flush with rage the spouse will become allied
if reference made how she buzzfeeds disorder
altercation especially likely if divorce blurted
making me wish to experience (immediately)
bartered bride, when mine pointed finger doth
nonverbally chide markedly appalling untidy
predilection she blithely exhibits woeful scant
interest to maintain can-do spirit affecting plea

zing aesthetic humble abode ofttimes slacking
off cleaning trail of abomination, which talent
includes unwittingly cultivating qua primordial
soup possibly duplicating conditions when life
originated (bajillion years ago) on planet Earth
witnessed courtesy think gummy, groovy, gooey,
gloppy, (nippy, nap, noopy) protoplasmic slimy
oozing blob (starring Steve McQueen) amoeba

like swallowing small towns with names such as
Chester Springs, Downingtown, Phoenixville,
& Royersford hungering, hinting, and hankering
to hasten home hearing Harris harridan hooligan
hoopla conniption purportedly linked into order
issued courtesy board of health for hen pecking
wife to hustle & make house beautiful for Biden
(accompanied with hit parade) announcing (yea)

at long last Republican administration overhaul
which fête yours truly slated to host determined
(weeks ago), thus necessitating legally wedded
counterpart to apply elbow grease in tandem to
render spic & span where unsightly food scraps,
soiled clothes, scattered papers, et cetera strewn
helter skelter, the disarray the culmination of 4+
years occupying these digs in Schwenksville, Pa.

Upon being told "get the place in ship shape order"
she went ballistic like bupkis fired out me gluteus
maximus, (whereat I couldn't help but think ICBM)
yea, an incongruous thought as she rattled vitriolic,
colorful expletives coarse language enough would
make sailor blush shutting his yapper uttering before
he even uttered "shiver me timbers," hence clatter
and din created cacophonous noise as my fair lady

affected one woman siege warfare as pots and pans
flew pell mell thru air while I took refuge in fallout
shelter unused since total mortal kombat destroyed
major swath of webbed wide world, global debacle
our dear leader triggered (when in pensive mood) he
lobbed weapons of mass destruction after being axed
to "go back home" meaning his mother planet Uranus.


July 25th, 1996 Tied the Gordian Knot

July 25th, 1996 tied the Gordian knot,...
(I spent noose cents)
begot deux daughters, the major events
both since flew cuckoo's nest,
the eldest angry at papa for offense

sieve behavior fatherly bond
forever sundered permanent rents
unforgiving progeny vents
bile, explosive vitriol whence...

Aye yen for bachelorhood every
now and again doth mildly abate
after saying "I do...,"
when axed by justice of peace

nearly two dozen years wedded
bull hissing, rest assured
I will abbreviate
encapsulate, fulminate, narrate...

and forthrightly admit,
yours truly oft times
yearned to abdicate
spousal unbridled warfare and injustice

reason enough to abnegate
null and void husbandry role
ex post facto finding thyself
questioning pledging troth even

Frosty the snowman would abominate
to say "screw this -
marriage nut for me"
bolt in a huff boot (dang)

ne'er did absquatulate
altercations that adhere
to rule of physics
and tended to accelerate

as muzzled, neigh saying saddled
former groom did
lament and accentuate
his physical needs,

she did not accommodate,
cuz this solitary soul
(with good n plenti horse sense),
never did fully acculturate

with female species,
one whose blunt cold front
seemed to accumulate growing
gripe list bestowed courtesy this mate

tit for tat wrathful pitiless,
(not so cherry) feedback unmatched
within annotated coupled courtship of fools,
this scrivener with steely

iron maiden breastplate,
nonetheless did rack up and accumulate
battle scars hitting bullseye,
since donned with

corrective vision spectacles
hen pecking, needling termagant
untameable shrew did acerate
(worse fate than death -

validated by grim reaper)
avowed covenant thru torturous years
exponentially punishing innocent soul
(slightly biased) did acervate

popping one after
another over the counter acetylsalicylate,
no ampule adequate
to relieve permanent suffering,
thus lifetime electric shock treatment,

nsync quaffing prescription
kool aid battery acidulate
ineffective to activate
palliative, and restore

liberty (yeah) sense and sensibility
subsequently providing freedom
against further wifely scourges
whereby Doctor Phil Ander

refused to adjudicate,
perhaps understandable why I advocate
selfless mercy killing (euthanasia)
for this urbane country bumpkin.

A Good Deed

Many people are suffering just because they don’t know where you have been; many people are suffering; they are walking around with their hand on their chin.  

It was just the other day their company was up and going, they made the executive branch salary too high and after six months the profit fell through the sky. 

A hundred thousand people got axed and the managing director gets sacked, his bonus payment was too high and it sends the company flying in the sky. He was in and out of the office having lobster and margarita for lunch, roast beef, barbecue and chicken nuggets for dinner with a host of people sitting at his table waiting for dinner.  

Many people are suffering because they have no health insurance, car insurance, life insurance or a steady income. Their lives depend on favor and they are badly in need of an urgent make over.  

You are all running around shouting about the dollar and the crown, can’t you see that the people are suffering and the government is singing a different hymn? The tone is too high and the rhythm is off beat and it will send everyone running around in the street .To lose control over the things you once owned is enough to send you chasing the bull out of the town. 

Many people are suffering because you don’t’ have a plan on how to distribute the wealth all over the land, the gap between the rich and the poor is too broad and you have to stop the killer that is at large, the little hole will sink the ship and the big holes will plunge you into the precepit.  

You must raise the pay scale for the educated man and those without schooling must get paid based on their ability and skills. You have got to raise the bar and cut out the retirement age, it must not be used as a criterion and requirement to go to heaven. Show me a solid action plan that can put food on the table, pay my bills and give me a decent savings. 

The writers and actors guild are on strike and they cannot roll the dice, many celebrities are broke and they have no sugar to wet their throat. You have got to find a temporary solution before you find a permanent one, Jesus uses five fish and five loaves of bread to feed the multitude on the mountain,  meet with the union and create a recipe for a new deal one that is acceptable and is strong as steel.

Sun Shade

(The title means there is still hope beyond the hardship or light at the end of the tunnel. *Note from J W Earnings*)

No one has a right to call me horrid things
I wish you feel my pain and its insane stings
Hello to goodbye, I simply, heavily sigh
Sometimes, I feel like crying and dying no lie

Kill the sorrow
There’s tomorrow
Life’s a sparrow
Without wings to borrow

Forgiveness will give you satisfaction
This emerald compass will give you direction
You found me in an awful mess today…of dismay
You made it up to me tonight; alright…on the freeway

I am acting like the victim
I’m being selfish emotionally
No need to be like them
I’m my own person actually

You called me foul names
Forced to take the blames
You touched me all the way
On the edge…falling, I pray

You save me from my suicide
You save me from my bipolar ride
Save it for another tomorrow
Leave it to yesterday below

You played me like a video game
All I feel is this anguish and shame
Get it over with and shut it please
Music is blasting and I’m the tease

Fought the battle of baffling lonesome
I never knew people thought I was handsome
They saw through the phases of my shady past
Or so I assumed...this joy somewhat doesn’t last

Shattered like nothing matters
Fire and snow, you know, nurtures
You flatter me with your childish antics
This heart needs more than a simple fix

Still in distress…it’s hard to move on
Axed down like a tree times a ton
Release the anxiety I have been lost in
Saturated in the sweat of my…my sin…

Forgiveness is forgetting genuinely
The password to my trust is too complicated apparently
You lied, I lied…let’s leave that in the dust-clustered past
I want this blissful lifetime to last, not this ache so vast

Enliven my empathetic nature
Tomorrow is a million miles away, but that won’t stop me, no way
Good-bye to hello that’s for sure
Catch me in the web of wishes come true and, yes, come what may

No one needs to point out my wrongs
God is the only Judge and you aren’t, my strange dear
Wrapped up in woe and write it in songs
Most of all, have no sign of fear and be of good cheer

Daisies of delight grow 
I want to live and glow
Shade of abyss will not show
So, yeah, you better know,
A lowly Death – big N.O.!

Eriobotrya Japonica

Yours truly never heard, seen, no lies
particularly when alone
facing my (pushing up daisies) demise,
without pretense nor guise,
he honestly decries
smelled, tasted, nor touched, any size,

and essentially knew nothing besides
ancient fruit grown in Japan
for past 1,000 years as Earth flies
thru space, now more about loquats,
plethora of details to exercise
memory bank, though

this poetaster still tries
to appear learned, no matter
me no expert, I reckon eyes
aforementioned small yellow size
egg-shaped acidic fruit
great breakfast, lunch,
or dinner sup prize

for dessert never knew the evergreen
eastern Asian tree of rose family,
in Thorndale residents
at somber occasions,
or holidays edibly feast
as modus operandi to eulogize.

If ever opportunity
finds agriculturally cocksure
and propensity doth arise to venture
to savor succulent juice of Loquat,
savoir faire mine mean
mien to one epicure
this wordsmith, whatever

his wordsworth as whitman,
he will need to remove lower denture
minor inconvenient truth (er tooth),
where jaws comprise juncture
and/or chop delectable treats
into byte size morsels.

Perhaps before I lay
me down to sleep 
forever and a day
launched into death
be not proud, aye
will strive to appease
culinary yen oy vey
searching high and
low unexpectedly axed
about diddly squat (a spot, 
pimple, or sty) seated
please and lemme 
introduce myself, cuz 
thar thou looking

for specific monsignor okay
thy my quest, I wilt thus assay
to indulge me secrete,
and rejoice hip... hip... hooray
if thee will allow any which way,
yours truly to supplicate,
perhaps magic discovery
after I pay obeisance and pray
to Mother Nature
my hunger, she will allay.

If ambition to satiate loquat all naught
please scatter cremated ashes,
upon bed of loquat sought
but ne'er found,
cuz earnestness to secure
coveted desire fraught,
not necessarily in vain if I got
repurposed to commingle,
viz this pauper devoid of haute
cuz thrift stores find me 
where clothes get bought.
Form: Rhyme


Pacific Papa Pedals Perspicacious Persiflage Panacea

the following sloop of words rowed and towed together as they 
came into my periscoptic poop deck with slight emendation 
from thee oar ridge in hull.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
along the atlantic, bruitted by cavalier indiscriminate jerry rigged 
salient seaboard; adequately buffered, coccooned domicile, eman
cipated from gobstopping hectors, insulated joyfully, kept lodged 
within this singular one bedroom apartment (courtesy sans subsi
dized housing facility named highland manor apartments); acqui
escence concerning everyday generalities harbors illustrious kick
starting mindfulness; oasis offering outlier pad; partitioned pathe
tic quintessential respite spans the vast webbed wild world; yoyoing 
between deathly diabolical forces gripping heinous heavyhandedness, 
imperiling, jettisoning kindled linkedin lumpenproletariat, malfeasance 
masquerading mockery monger muckrakers - namely narcissistically, 
nee nefariously, odious, pernicious quotidian rapacious treasonous 
ugly viciously xenophobic yikyaking zealots; augments bittnerness, 
cravenness, depravity, encourages fragmented government, highjin
xing investment; joint kindness kombats lambasting liberal minded 
nattering netizens, obliging ogres poisoning, pollutanting; putrification 
quality qualm queasy; quintessential rampant, re: reckless reigning 
rogue ruination, sanity sapped, senselessness sic smiling spoiliation 
stance swindled; tabloid tacitly tendered thru timbered torqued tutelage; 
unfettered usurpation violates voices, vultures willingly wring xing 
yawping zest axed; before catastrophe dedicated earthlings forced 
gallantly; harmonizing heft, holstering, hoping, humanizing instant
aneous juice kegs liquidate manicical Messerschmitt motoring mow
ing natural nemesis; nickleback nincompoops, nodding nonstop op
pressing peoples pinterest, quashing rift righteousness relinguished, 
sacred sangfroid sapped slowly, totalitarianism trotted tubby universal 
vested worsted xfrayed yarn.

One Step Ahead of the Best

You walk on me like a sidewalk 
And write on me like chalk 
I go blind just seeing you talk 
My teeth are numb from hearing you walk
I’m caught in your vision
In the crosshairs of your indecision 
Like a shadow I’ll lead you when it’s chilly
You’re a snow tiger, a white lily 
Letting your lips light up this city
Ready to fly away like a kite when it’s windy 
I’m trapped well within your throwing range
Surrounded by landmines and incoming grenades
Your aroma ignites scented candles
This fire is more than I can handle
Empty beach, bare feet, and no sandals
Run over me like bulls ready to trample
I’m a target and you’re so insightful 
So let’s see how good you’re really are with that sniper rifle 
Plane from the beach to the lake
Like a priceless vase about to break 
Your style is too good to be fake 
6.a.m, like stolen pearls you’ve gone to sleep and I lie in your wake
I’m stuck in a rut of indecision to give or take 
40 million ways to die and I get bit by a charming snake 
In a fit of happiness we have but one life to live
And you’ve given him the most precious thing you could give
Angelic wings, a devilish grin, and a story with more holes than a sieve 
Lie to someone else who can’t tell when you fib about your sins 
Shut up listen, let me finish, I’ve come back again ready to win
In a losing a battle to a stabbed back, busted lip, and broken chin
Is this your way to raise hell when the heavens fell yesterday? 
And with nothing left to lose, axed back, you ask “why not wish it all away?”
I didn’t think I would come back, blue and black, to a see another day where I lay 
betrayed
Have something amazing erase my face, spit out the taste where waste remains
But before you speak, and think I’m weak, let me show you something unique
I never fell but stayed on my feet, having you beat by keeping the promise I made 
weeks ago in my speech 

So now you’re dead to me and I’m dead to you
Do you remember what I said to you?
No matter how far you are… I’m one step ahead of you
Form: Rhyme

Weltschmerz Germane To Those Feeling Malaise

Senescence concomitant
and best buds with malaise
despondency inescapable as
infirmity ages formerly young gals guys
though age just a "number"
father time not shy to apprise

every mortal wakes to the
inescapable truth that never dies
each living species mainly
one known as *****sapiens
allotted longevity not much
greater than highest

double digit which existence flies
at speed of greased lightning,
which passage of years
zip faster -- this strictly my
perception as one nears
cessation finally escaping

nasty, short and brutish
how to remain youthful lies
plugged by health
and fitness tricksters,
"FAKE" staunching 
getting older decries

the science of biochemistry,
gerontology, kazoo whist tree, pathology...
though many consumers
spend bajillion dollars to disguise
and/or feebly stave off their demise,
oft times, yours truly (me)

doth not despise
the finality frontier, whereby body electric
ceases to function and this poet cries
against psychological torture of anxiety/
panic attacks linkedin to penuriousness
physiological symptoms

even with prescription medication
i.e. racing heart, chronically
sweaty palms, irritable bowels,
thus there ought not
be cause for surprise,
where salutary marital

bond bereft, when he dies...
finally free and clear
of Lake woebegone angst no lies
yet not courting danse macabre,
but occasionally sighs
pondering courtesy visit

qua grim reaper who allies
him/herself to every storied birth,
whose wish to live
long as Methuselah
an aspiration this
scrivener doth advise

against, no friends family,
nor lovely beau ties
remain, a near reality,
whereby alienation, I cannot excise
thus toy with suicidal ideation,
though ye might chastise

elusive joie de vivre impossible mission
to attain plus world growing
darker shadows along edge
of night with decreasing eye
cite, and gloomy prospect

Medicare maybe axed...
accursed fate eternal sleep
destiny or her her offspring
might hopefully exercise.

Addictive Ampoules Annihilate After Alluring

amphetamines acquaintanceship assuages 
agonizing aches also advocates amorousness
assiduously activating admiration
aggressive attacks assault afoul 

affable affinity and affectionadumbration
anatomical accidental addiction attested as academic,
although afterward abnegation absolutely arduous,
affianced attired apparently as an anomaly 

Ares and Abyssinian Astarte admixture
acquiescence affliction affected adroitly,
and abruptly abends accessible
altruistic alms axed 

albeit admonishing, alluding, 
and attributing authored 
autonomous anonymous adroit arriviste agents 
accompanying as accomplished accomplices 

accredited ace advertisers
applaud ascendent assaults amidst agonizing appeals
acting all acrimoniously apropos
avowedly ardently, and antagonistically, agitating 
appositely advocating ancillary assistance  

addict adrift afloat anchors away
along, among, and an alias archenemy -
adorned abominable assassin alters ambition
adroitly, aggressively, absolutely
addict announces asseveration

against avid admonishment
alarmingly annulling authentic affiliation
anew anonymous ability acclaims alignment
aegis actually adversarial abetting attrition appetite

acceleration ascendent after aplenty anesthetization
additionally activating arced analogous arrow
advancing added abdominal and arterial agony
abject ambivalence arrests accomplishments attainable

any artistic avocation absconded
asper auditorial approbation, animadversion
artificial aggrandizement abrogates astuteness
appropriate adjudication affronted

alternative afforded amnesty about acing audioslave
as ambition assumes arriviste affectation
already appalling alacrity awakens amendment
although Awol administration adamant

acrimonious affront agonizingly attributable
announces another afterworld
apparent ailing apparition
ardent allegiance asking anyone appreciable affix
apathy abounds attending apriorism allotment.

Gloriously Fake Early Boyhood

Gloriously "FAKE" Early Boyhood

Yah, ma brew their,
     and American sister golden hair -
     afar and away
book as aye ken ream hem bar,
     yea when yar whiz jist a bay 
bee, hun me
     verily hoppy goo
     loo key lil boy whar 'r each day

o'r flowed with giddiness oot nar the
     secluded Harris estuary
frolicked amidst muscled shoals
     gnome hatter sky turned
     f'ty shades o' gray
hawk cool when
     barf heat squished sand
     hall lung pristine beach hooray

ah...those memories (hmm...oh...well)
     wii ch war newt mine,
     boot bar rowed fur room Jay
son and  argonauts cave his Oh kay
seance ah waz tip poor
     tuff ford me own may
mar ease, noon thee lass nay
var tha lease, aye fain tis eyes hub boat

     hoof "FAKE" sea
     yuck rat passageway
along tha loon lee coo west
     hove yar hug quay
thee pass sea if 'ick Ou shin sum
     moo with as ray
dee aunt gull lass oon lake now win me
daughter ring auld age aye

wharf heal moss elf ill eagle
     red dee tug hoe bye
bye, cuz hive eel
     emotionally frenzied, harried,
     and jangled as if
     o'er dost hay'n reedy to die
on barb bit char writs eye
lichen to a class five

Saffir-Simpson Hurricane, no...no...no...
     methinks oh pen hee van
     thar iz a big oop stares "guy"
     seen 'm once, when we booth said "Hi"
aye whiz juiced up t'har - me no lie,
what, a stripling lad,
     (thus jist man hedge gin my
flat hand outstretched wheel nigh

fin gars call loess tug getter try
tou pet yar palm awk
     coo pull hove feet
     fur him tha floor),
     now (NOT FAKE) chalk
wii ch hide id hawk
daring ma prime er skool daze
     didst slip smooth white

     totally tubular woo din
     lock (like) thin small
     round joint long stalk
con vein y'ant lee a'signed
     tuck clap 'race ears oot side den maze
wen axed bite t'eat char, me Noah talk!

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