Long Advertisement Poems
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Pinkie was a fluffy butterfly kind of faerie.
She was free spirited with a beautiful soul.
She cared about everyone, and they knew it.
People gravitated to her as if she was cotton candy.
When she got married she invited the entire village.
There was no exclusion. She put an advertisement in the paper.
Everyone is invited, she told them. You do not have to bring a gift.
Of course, everyone did bring one, for they loved her.
She had been babysitting for the raccoon family for years.
The opossums and squirrels came because she fixed their paws.
She had a gentle touch and could take out slivers of glass and such.
Each animal appeared at the wedding to check out the faerie king.
He had better be a good man, they chattered to each other.
He had better be kind they warned the violets under their breath.
They were immediately happy with the king. He was a gentle soul.
Congregation cheered when he kissed his gorgeous bride, Pinkie.
Matthew O' Harris Ease A "FAKE" Irishman
Juiced tin he nuff tame afore
thee Saint Patrick's Day,
(hens this faux written accent
donned to sail hub berate won big todo
fur those peep pull o' Eire rush deuce cent)
aye pretend, and thence make oop
duff fallow wing vary minor event
harkening back e'er sins this generic gent,
hooped tubby imp poet hint wannabe,
(who hapt tubby absent
without leave from Brogue kin home
since a lil whippersnapper, and accident
boot tappin), when me note holler than
garden variety leprechaun, advertisement
tuff hind miss elf, no major ailment -
good red ants tomb ma late mum,
which fair re: creatures, no argument
booth us, iz moar rare than
finding far leaf clover,
and eek will coz fur astonishment
eef hoodlum (caw zing
bedlam) sought atonement
Yukon bull heave or no,
how life on the lamb
as a Dublin street urchin met belligerent
scruffy geezers old looking and bent
till kind ole soul named C. Clement
took yaws truly as apprenticed
Baron without complaint,
though kept ma lidded concealment
secret til search abandoned confident
gnome hissing pipsqueak,
would be sorely missed
giving fresh start with help to coinvent
patois, and be comb real estate magnet
ne'er no wing want oof
basic needs - yea content
in due time making pile
moan hee tall as Taj Mahal
kicking back during Lent
gerrymandering convalescent
old age spinning yarns
for modest copayment
total tubular tales with
nary a Harris Boss Tweed stitch of truth!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
granite roots gripping Pennsylvania-Dutch shale
taught me Schicksal, spun our bloodlines into compass stars~
Stärke whispered through his fractured Fraktur tales
*******************************
Schicksal = German for (fate/destiny); reflects language teaching with genealogical purpose
Stärke = strength in German
Fraktur = a stylized, highly decorative watercolor or watercolor-and-ink painting in the Pennsylvania-German tradition, often bearing elaborate calligraphy and standardized motifs, as birds, tulips, mermaids, and unicorns, and typically appearing on a book page, baptismal certificate or other family record, or merchant's advertisement. (Source: dictionary.com)
Call me mad if you must
But please first hear me out
I just got back from the Cryogenics lab
And guess who's head I picked from the crowd
If your thinking Jimmy Hoffa
No, he's somewhere deep asleep in concrete
I grabbed someone much more spectacular
I grabbed the frozen head of Walt Disney
You see years ago he had himself chilled
At least that which contains the brain
The useless part they put in a casket
And far be it for me to dig up a grave
I've now got Walt packed on ice in a cooler
It wouldn't do to have his head melt
What kind of operation do you think I'm running here
Some kind of Mickey Mouse?
First on my agenda find Mr. Disney a body
One that won't give out on him too soon
Cause once we thaw out Walt and he starts to talk
There's no telling what he'll want to do
So I let my fingers do the walking
Here's something interesting...Bodies By Jake
I just hope we find Jakes place in time
Before the ice melts and we are to late...
...talk about false advertisement!
Jake the snake didn't sell bodies at all
Walt and I are more than a little disturbed
There really should be some sort of law
Guess I should have thought this all over
Long before I thought of it now
So as a special treat I thought Mr. Disney and me
Could go see his "World", so we headed South
Standing in line to purchase tickets
The cooler shakes when Walt hears the prices by chance
No need to tell you that if he had lower extremities
He would crap them if he wore any pants
We decided to do something a little cheaper
And with a Disney movie just out today
It was kind of hard to follow along though
When all you could hear was his body spinning in the grave, miles away
Guess it's to early to try and bring back Walt Disney
Maybe one day I can try it again
But before we leave for the trip back home
We stop at the concession for diet soda and Jr. mints
Once we got back to the Cryogenics lab
They're looking for me so over the fence I let the head fly
No need to worry, one of the guard dogs grabbed it
And I'm sure drug it right back inside
I hear that the Disney Corporation, after reading this have gathered together their top notch lawyers and are wanting to set up a meeting...
I'm thinking they're going to offer me a movie deal! Wish me luck!
I'm thinking Leonardo DiCaprio could play Walt...
I’m very pleased to introduce to you
something once a toy made completely new.
All you need are two good legs and balance! But it’s not a bike.
It’s as healthy as biking, so cyclists, take a hike!
It’s much more fun for everyone to JUMP their way
to where they want to get to every day.
The bottom part of it, once made of rubber,
used to wear down fast and made a few kids blubber.
For when the steel part poked itself on through,
annoying clatter hitting pavement would ensue.
That old-fashioned part that gave bounce for you
is completely remodeled. Now metal won’t poke through!
And better yet, it’s not rubber-made at all!
You now can jump to anywhere on anything, and you won’t fall.
This awesome patented invention will never get stuck
in dirt, grass or gravel, nor in mud and muck.
With longer and higher jumps than you ever had before,
the distance you can jump has increased twenty times more.
No one else but us has this technology.
Come and take a test-jump. You will see. . .
why we call our product the Quick MOGO stick.
POGO redesigned, will make you jump for joy, and that is no schtick!
March 16, 2018 for
"Advertisement: Sell something, make us want it" contest of Lewis Raynes
Knife of ICE
Bare Naked
It leaves no
Fingerprints
Kills
With
ALIBI
I . C . E.
Information
Communication
& Entertainment
~~~~~~~~~~~
You’re first glued
To a dark screen
Eyeballs trained
Gaslighting brain
Images-Sounds
@24 f/ second
Nerves tune in
To world full of
Make/ Believe
Entertainment
Fruits squeeze
Inside a bottle
Voila- A Drink
Thereafter U
Are Hit by A
Nine-Eleven
Cold knife It
Twirls Sinks
News and
Views and
Advtzmnt
Cuts deep
ICE knife;
Weapon
Invisible
Diffuses
No
trace
Left
Melts
In
Blood
Fatal
Slick
You
Are
Hit
by
I
C
E
Believe whatever is shown on television
For some inexplicable reason Reason !!
Glitzy images news views current affairs
song dance entertainment and of course
Advertisement Can we live without them
Surf channels switch as many as you can
In them a commonality- They are All Sold
Sponsored communication- Commercials
Can not afford to miss a word
Believe in all that is sponsored
You got it right- Advertisement
Give me your time Give me your money
But Most important- Give me your brain
Promise is- you will be thoroughly entertained
.
Late summer evening looking toward
The starlit sky
And feeling the droplets crawling toward the cotton
surrounding a neck that lips had once touched so lightly
In a moment of an eternity where now a town converges
On a canvas palace at a time when
faith was part of the advertisement and the heartache and pain
could be vanquished by uncorking the mysteries
of a planet only light years away from
The acknowledgement of human error
And they bought into the dream that tomorrow
would bring the change that was really unnecessary and
they returned to that existence which encouraged them
To wait for another hot summer night when
The medicine show returned.
We all want to have the perfect shape, the media
Are at fault, they use the young as their tool,
Making some gents and ladies look like a fool,
Whether young and feisty or facetious and bold,
Or middle aged with a tummy that can’t help but fold,
Maybe trendy, adventurous, getting a little old
The mirror in horror tells us, we need to diet a lot,
Or join the army of the overweight and be forgot.
There are there those that take notice of the media
And those who don’t, and those that don’t have to care,
They look good all the time whatever they wear.
Then on the next advertisement on the highway,
A Wimpy advert as large as life,
Two waffles for the price of one, syrup, loads of cream,
Some do resist, but for many of us a delicious dream,
Does our will power and choice not come into play,
We visit Wimpy today, and tomorrow is another day,
What the heck, we only live once, we are tempted,
How many times a diet have we attempted,
We give in, our husband admires a slim gal,
Our wife flirts with her boss,
So, eat to live and not live to eat,
We should look at a waffle as a reward, a fine treat,
And look in the mirror and feel proud of our shape,
From the grip of the media we therefore escape,
'I'm heading home to my love, an absolute dish!'
September 12th, 2019...12:00 p.m.
inspection/ emission finally possible
but...hopes dashed to smithereens
August thirty first
two thousand nineteen shortly past,
no matter 2009 Hyundai Sonata at long last
scheduled with ample funds
checking account blitzed
now back home
(Highland Manor apartments)
absolute zero money left cents lessly gassed
exhale incomplete sigh of relief
cuz necessity to dodge fast
escaping deafening police
ear splitting siren blast.
Congenial customer service
representatives at CJ's tire,
and automotive dutifully require
loose fender securely attached,
but hood latch replacement more dire,
thus postponing mechanic
to affix inspection sticker,
no matter old one did expire
once again driving on borrowed time,
cuz both driver and passenger front tire
plus rear right TPMS metal sensor
re: passenger rear tire
malfunction functionality
hoop fully explains this wire.
Your truly uber verging wreck,
no complaints regarding trained tech
very competent mechanic
even for peripatetic pluperfect prospect
reference I recommend unsolicited
advertisement plus aye inject
relieving anticipatory anxiety
oh yes, said vehicle
in good hands absolutely correct,
no matter sucker punch
to checking account
doth severely affect
mine psychological aspect.
More legal (zooming) tender
zaps lion's share of this thrifty spender
wannabe, which cruel tread full fate
unquestionably, ostensibly invariably...
every year without fail doth render
finding me in poor house
desperate to pray divine
rolling rocker alms lender
whether he.she major criminal offender,
nor no preference regarding gender.
Fat/slim chance
wishful fantasy will become true
escapist mindset bolsters
this hen pecked forlorn rue
stir standing glum within
long fostered, and winding queue,
this dirt poor dude intuitively knew
bubblegum, toothpicks and glue
holding psyche intact turned hue
man into sad sack... boo hoo
minus auto body work
undertaken by trained
heavy metal punk ken cutting crew.
Quite frankly, my dear, I know what you need,
I'll take a blank check; come now! Some speed.
For you want inspiration, some relaxation,
and a way to refocus life's peregrination.
So come! There's a chair, so soft it's a crime.
Pulled up next to the fire that's lit for all time.
And a lovely pillow to rest your sweet head,
and a fine fantasy that might put you to bed,
were it not for the crackle and sput of the flame,
and the tall glass of brandy that chuckles your name.
And if you tire of looking at fire,
behold! There is so much more to inspire.
Windows beholding the slope of the mountain,
robed in white snow from flower to fountain.
Winter so wicked is clawing without,
and that makes your comfort the sweeter, no doubt!
Yea, munch on your cheese and warm, buttered toast,
Fall asleep if you can, though I do have to boast,
that the playing of yonder violin,
may leave you daydreaming of summer again.
Written for Advertisement contest, sponsored by Lewis Raynes
7 March 2018