Long A broken heart Poems
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When I looked in to her eyes,
In it I saw a prospect of a paradise.
A paradise whose entry was not
contingent on my righteousness.
My days of startling agony, still battled my
hope of finding true love.
Like the Battle of Armageddon,
I always came out a looser.
But meeting her... yea the Vault of Heaven,
was like proximal to the Book of Leaves.
Her countenance and demeanor,
whispered melodic symphonies.
And her meekness and charm,
transited me into a world of ecstasy.
Covered In fine linen and sapphire,
she glowed than a continuous spectrum.
Her beauty was an Achilles hill,
that all men that saw her failed to vanquish.
Just like my maiden father Adam,
In her I saw the hidden part of me.
As a woman, as one I will be spending my life with.
I have never felt this conflagration before,
It was apparent she was my dream woman.
What can be compared to the taste of crimson honey,
The more it reddened the more it sweetened.
I have never loved like this before.
For her I was willing to exchange my soul,
To be with her till eternity.
But cunningly she unmasks her real face.
Beneath her could not be compared to an iota of grace.
She was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Who entered my life to distort and annihilate,
My hope of bliss.
All these while we paddled and flew high,
In the crescendo of our emotions.
It never crossed my mind that it was all a hoax.
A calculated sham just to make away with all I ever had.
Now am left with nothing,
Since her angelic face and docile pace,
Which I thought was the elixir my unending conundrum,
Was rather an emotional and psychological torture,
That has rendered my life defunct.
When I imagine her driving around town,
Adorned in my hard earned luxury,
There is only one moment I wish ,
I could re-write.
And that was the day I met her.
I always tell myself that sometimes,
It is better some people don’t come into your life.
But here I am know,
Wishing to right my wrongs and alter the past.
But it is so sad that I cannot have my way.
I know in the annals of time,
When my saga is being told,
I will be know as the moron,
Who killed himself because of a girl.
Though it may sound and look stupid,
I deem it a befitting penance,
For my obsessed illusion of love,
Thus love is an illusion that,
Emotionally disrupt sober discretion.
What can be compared to the stench of a broken heart.
Gregory
You made yesterdays news, invoking fears
You were found on the streets
Discarded and left to die alone
Thrown away like a piece of garbage with little thought
An inconvenience, as you struggled for your life
So many questions and no answers….
Your thoughts were dark and twisted and not appropriate
You did not fit the mould
Opportunities wasted as you oared against the current
The river washed you out and you choked to breathe
Your thoughts were numbed by substances
Chemicals that took away your sanity
Robbed you of your family and your home
Left your mother with a broken heart and tortured soul, struggling with forgiveness
Your father fought his own demons just long enough to remember your life
And then fall back into the abyss and darkness and forgottenness
Your friends cried as they thought of you.
Their scarred faces and souls with their big crosses around their necks
Their tattooed and tattered young zombie bodies
With their vacant eyes that bore too much pain to contain
Thin and remorseful souls
with the tears that fell down their cheeks like rain
They loved you, you were a good friend!
It was said you would give the shirt off your back for a friend
Your first love wondered how she could have helped?
Your grandfather has lived too long to see this day
One more funeral in his 88 years
A reminder of his son of 17 that was also discarded.
Your brother tried to honour and play his guitar that you gave him
Tears were shed
Beautiful memories shared and kind words spoken
A life too young
Fell beneath the caverns of a broken world
Aunts write poetry to make sense of it all, desperately writing to keep your memory alive
Unspoken grief all around with nowhere to go
One more forgotten victim of an epidemic
Bi-polar they said
Addicted they said
As they sat in their offices high above the streets away from it all
Making policies to keep you safe.
Safe injection sights to shoot poison to your veins
And kitchens with large pots of soup to sustain you until your imminent death
The great unravelling of a generation
You were loved by many
You were a beautiful soul, a good friend, son, brother, cousin
A beautiful child with big brown eyes and so much promise
Gregory always remembered
Rest peacefully sweet soul…
Grace Daub August 25, 2021 written after my nephew’s untimely death- homeless and on the streets
To the proud parents, Anna and Theo
A serious lad, silent and thorough
A clan of preachers
And dealers of art
From the southern Netherlands came Van Gogh
When sent to school, he did not want to go
The separation led to much sorrow
But he learned to draw
Whatever he saw
Sent off to sell art in Paris, Van Gogh
His happiest time, and now in love, oh
Till the landlady’s daughter told him no
Now a broken heart
Surly to sell art
Fired from his job in Paris, Van Gogh
Vincent sought out a coal miners’ burrow
A priest of sorts, but a squalid fellow
The church was appalled
And cursed his resolve
To the asylum for crazy Van Gogh?
His father baffled, on the verge of foe
Art interest, once again, began to grow
Back to school again
This time, in His name
To paint in the service of God, Van Gogh
School’s out, back to his parents he would go
Using neighbors as subjects to ditto
Proposed to his cousin
Which she found disgustin’
Burning his hand to see her, holy Van Gogh!?!
Now off to The Hague, a family furlough
To live with Sien, a boozing bimbo
A man to see ya…
Caught gonorrhea
Three weeks in the hospital for Van Gogh
The pain of loneliness drove him back home
Once again, a failed love with fair Margot
Then Vincent’s father died
He grieved deeply inside
The tragedy further refined Van Gogh
Finally, Vincent’s work was in the know
“The Potato Eaters” made an art show
Just add more color
Said his dear brother
Rubens brightened the dark gloom of Van Gogh
Vincent’s diet: coffee and tobacco
Mixed with absinthe began to take its toll
Though he kept on painting
Then Paris, more training
The end was getting closer for Van Gogh
The masters: Monet, Degas, Pissarro
Cezanne, and Seurat in his studio
Influenced his style
Learning all the while
That time was running out for Mr. Van Gogh
Then he moved to Arles, bad health in tow
Completing great works the whole world would know
“Sunflowers” (in vase)
“The Café Terrace”
Minus one ear, the frail, ailing Van Gogh
With his tattered mind, and mournful woe
Committed to the asylum, Mausole
With his final works
“The Church at Auvers”
“Starry Night” was painted in pain, Van Gogh
“At Eternity’s Gate”, he was sorrow
Wandered into a field, farmer’s fallow
Put a bullet in his chest
In hopes of peaceful rest
“The sadness will last forever”, Van Gogh
I'm sorry for all the stupid things I've done
I guess I'll leave now before the break of dawn
You made me love you, but that didn't last too long
You belong with me or so I thought while writing this sad song
I'm a terrible guy with a broken heart
Strengthen me before I shatter apart
I'm such a fool for believing in your fairytale stories
Now, I'm left behind and lost in the blemishes of my allegories
Have you been led astray?
What can I say?
Did I make your day?
or did I reduce you to utter dismay?
I apologize
For bringing tears in your eyes
And for telling you sugarcoated lies
Now, I'm frozen in place forever in your goodbyes
I'm alone again in my room of gloom
I suppose I'll try to be happy and like a flower in full bloom
You made me fall short, but I'll get up and be renewed once more
You wronged me and I did you wrong too - I don't know what for
I'm a terrible guy with a broken heart
Strengthen me before I shatter apart
I'm such a fool for believing in your fairytale stories
Now, I'm left behind and lost in the blemishes of my allegories
Have you been led astray?
What can I say?
Did I make your day?
or did I reduce you to utter dismay?
I apologize
For bringing tears in your eyes
And for telling you sugarcoated lies
Now, I'm frozen in place forever in your goodbyes
I'm caught up in the current of my bottomless emotions
Guide me to a faraway place called Peaceful Splendor...guide me away from the many commotions
You pretend that you had nothing to do with me
I can see right through you as you can clearly see
I'm a terrible guy with a broken heart
Strengthen me before I shatter apart
I'm such a fool for believing in your fairytale stories
Now, I'm left behind and lost in the blemishes of my allegories
Have you been led astray?
What can I say?
Did I make your day?
or did I reduce you to utter dismay?
I apologize
For bringing tears in your eyes
And for telling you sugarcoated lies
Now, I'm frozen in place forever in your goodbyes
I see you crystal clear in my shimmering vision
You handle me with such delicate precision
I'm under pressure and I don't know exactly what to say or do
I've been writing this down with a smile and a frown - that, I did so true
Guide me away from here...
Lead me away from fear...
Guide me with utmost cheer...
Happiness and hope will surely appear!
" My mother shed her protective love around me and without knowing why, people sensed that I had value." ~Maya Angelou
" As mothers and daughters, we are connected with one another. My mother is the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and true. She is my blood, making sure it runs rich and strong. " ~Kristin Hannah
“ I hold three magic rocks, in my hand
Rolling them over and over and over
Leaving this reality behind, far behind"
Born female, and upon my brow the magic mark ,
as my mother's mothers before me.
Red pigmented and shaped like a broken heart,
the very heart of my story.
From generations of wombs and bloodlines before,
I am chosen to take up these stones.
And being apart of this family,
I am yet destined to be alone.
The Amber, with whiskey color glowing within…
pumpkin tinged and power singed.
Giving its wielder healing power and
protection through the midnight hour.
The Sapphire stone, deepest indigo,
as the depths of the ocean's foaming folds.
Granting wisdom within it's warming light
and discernment of truth, of wrong and right.
And the third stone is a Ruby of red,
whose clarity muddles the mind and clouds the head.
Releasing passions once held in check,
while you see clearly, their pulsing neck.
Combined the three, passed down to me,
from maternal bloodline flows.
So now with these words and the heat of my hands,
I part the veil to long ago...
Though darkly, I see, far back through time,
this several great-great grandmother of mine.
And watch as she, undeservedly,
is made to lie in an early grave …
No knight in armour in this tale,
Herself alone she must save.
These stones that I now hold, she finds,
as in darkness they begin to shine.
All air is gone, her breathing stops
and the heart inside can beat no more.
Until the magic finds a home in a wronged woman's maternal core.
Then hearing
a weak pulse,
somehow
MISPLACED...
upon her brow I see
the red- pigmented mark,
the broken heart
Upon her brow,
BEGIN TO B E A T....
And now we know this history,
the story that began my own.
I await the rest of my family tale
from inside the stones, I'm shown.
When I know my true life's purpose,
when I am connected with all of them…
then my hearts blood will stop beating...
...but my magic heart beat will begin.
I was going to take it easy, but I’m going to write harder than ever before
I’m all about love and peace, but the world thinks we’re better with war
I’m going by my own expectations because I’ll never measure to yours
I act confident because you’d eat me alive if you knew I was ever insecure
I don’t show my heart much, I keep it in my chest, but the treasure is pure
They say I’m single minded, so how do I write double rhymes that are clever and raw?
Me to be the new Eminem was all a plan
He wrote a song about me, he just decided to call me Stan
The only difference is I’m here with a normal state of mind
Okay that was a lie, because you have to be a certain amount of crazy to create these rhymes
Tupac passed me a pen from heaven so now I’m here to take what’s mine
World on my shoulders, but I won’t allow it to break my spine
I’ll hold it up
Travel to the North Pole because my heart still isn’t cold enough
I need it cold enough so I stop missing my ex from time to time
The world shouldn’t be told this much
But I’m trying to write a new story in the oldest book
I go looking for what the normal human isn’t designed to find
Please don’t mind my mind
I’m just a little crazy, mixed with inspiration from Slim Shady
Tortured with self-loathing due to my parents putting me in foster care as a baby
With a broken heart from a girl who took advantage of my kind nature
I hope you see clearly now because you could be blind later
Got enough rhymes to fill nine papers
And complete 20 albums for your favourite artist
As soon as I get my lock on, I won’t change the target
My pen is full and I won’t apologise for the carnage
Make you take notice of what I’m writing; you won’t be able to disregard it
Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger are hiding from the poetical Jason Voorhees
I’m not a movie writer creating stories
Someone ask Cupid to have Ariana Grande waiting for me
If he has other plans, that’s fine, but it’s worth asking
But it’s probably best he doesn’t because dating bores me
I push away people because I don’t how to trust
I’ve been numb for so long, I wouldn’t feel it if I was touched
I’m working on myself, to fall in love I’m not in a rush
I’ve seen Friends turn to snakes, they didn’t realise I’m a shark so they can’t drown me
The man has become a king so you should crown me
Once upon a time there was a hopeless man, and all that he wanted was for someone to truly understand
He wanted to help in the only way that he knew how, and so he started his quest so that he could eventually take his bow
He promised to heal a broken heart with his love so true, he offered the naïve girl a solution to all that she had been through
He told her that he had the cure that all that she had to do was believe, and that he could change her life and be her everything
In turn she promised to love him and show him love like he never knew, but in the end due to his decisions she was unable to
He did everything right saying all the right things that she needed to hear, he held her when she cried and wiped away her tears
He told her that she was magical that she couldn’t be real, that he had looked for her his whole life and that now he is able to feel
He held her in his arms and told her his love was true, he said there would never be another that “my heart belongs to only you”
He said that he wanted to be with her until the end of time, but someone must have sped up the ending because you’re no longer mine
You reneged on your promises although you had said you would always stay, but in the end, I was the helper not you I helped you find your way
You took away my heartache, but you also brought me more than I can bare, now I am the hopeless one living in despair
You played your beautiful hopeless music for me that I heard through your heart, and now I have no one to dance with now that we’re apart
I want to come after you I want my revenge for the way that you hurt me, but I will continue hoping and dreaming that you’ll return to me
You half way gave me what you promised that you would, but you didn’t finish what you started although I wished that you could
So now the story is closing, and this is sadly goodbye, you can go ahead and take that bow now while I sit back and cry
I called you the hopeless helper because that is what I perceive, you wanted to believe in hope and help restore me
But in the end, I’m the hopeless one hanging on to these false dreams, and I’m the one that helped you crush my heart and rip it apart from the seams.
This poem is from my book titled Fairytales of Broken Dreams available on Amazon and Kindle. My pen name is Amanda Carroll Kinzer
Thy presence made my day then
Worsen; the day has now my old friend
Those were the days when life had fun
Life’s dark now no sign of moon, neither of sun
Life was good with you in my sight
Hard it is now to live lonely days and night
Dreams of mine right in front of me they blew
I still wish, with me tonight I had you
The world seems to move fast like a wind
I’m stuck here alone, my life is ruined
Thee must be happy, full of joy
I’m so hurt; I’m just a lonely boy
If I had thee here, how would I be?
Good as I was or mad for the world to see
The world laughs at me now as you are gone
I’m like a lunatic; I’m just for their fun
I’m missing you so, your smile and your beautiful eye
All I can do is remember you and cry
You are so far and a world apart
I’m so lost, alone, with a broken heart
More than then I need you now
I madly need you in my life, but how
Sorry that I couldn’t be like you wanted me to be
I hope you’ll forget those things and always remember me
The world seems same, but why I feel it’s different
Is it because, I’ve been deprived of your beautiful scent
You may think it was my mistake
Mistake could be mine, but my love wasn’t fake
Now since you are gone you may be satisfied that you don’t have to see me
But my eyes are as eager the 1st time when they saw thee
You just left without a single word not a single call on phone
Are you really happy that I’m all alone?
You never talked to me when you were in front of me to see
But now you talk to me as you are all the way across the country
How have you been all those days?
I was hurt, without you passing through my ways
Longtime passed since last we talked
Miss the moment together when we walked
Not a single day, I haven’t missed thee
Although you ain’t in front of me to see
Nothing but sad memories left with me
Not a single photo that I can hold when I die
Only time of sorrow with me to remember and to cry
Life has become as dark as moonless night
I’m all alone, world is in front of me to fight
I’m living, all by help of your tears
Hurt so bad, full of fears
I’ve become someone who I never thought I would
I’m going down but there’s nothing I can do to stop if I could
I’d still be happy if I had you for me to hold
That’s probably not possible as you are so bold
This is not a dream.
This is not a nightmare neither.
This is reality.
This is life.
And life will not always go the way we want it.
Nothing new.
Nothing special.
Nothing to be thankful for.
Nothing to begin with.
Nothing to look back.
It's my birthday!
How I wish I could make as many wishes as my age.
That would be so wonderful.
I wonder what my wishes will be?
There is nothing I could ever wish for than him.
I could make 22 wish out of him.
But I know I need more than a wish.
I can't watch the star fall, close my eyes and wish that everything would end up
like a fairytale.
Well fairy tales do come true.
But it only happens to a lucky few.
I guess I'm not lucky enough to be one of them.
Or I guess he is not man enough to be my Prince (maybe he's out there looking
for his Prince as well...)
For what ever reasons I feel unlucky in love at all.
Well at some point I am.
They say I am too young to think this way.
I know I am.
But I feel so small whenever I hear kids of my age talk about their love life.
Well I got my own love life to mess around but not too sweet to talk about.
What could be so sweet when all I got was a broken heart and shattered
dreams?
I once fell in love not too long ago.
The memories seemed to vague to me now since I felt a breath of a new love.
I thought that I'd be happy.
But I ended up sleeping with a nightmare in my head.
All the sweet fantasies that I've created in my mind ended with just a few words.
Don't talk to me.
Don't let me talk about him.
For quite sometime I was like a jackass.
I was left with no choice. Well I am always left with no choice.
Letting him go is the only visible option that time.
I knew I had to.
Even though it almost caused me my dignity I chose to be with him.
Even if I know I'll end up hurting myself, I still dreamt of spending my days and
nights beside him.
Even if the world is against my love for him, I did not care.
I had to go through all of these because I thought that someday he would
reciprocate my love.
I thought that one day he would see that I really care for him more than he could
he ever think of.
But I guess I was wrong.
I gave my love to the wrong person.
He will never love me back.
He can never love me back.
DEAR
You are and will never be worthy of my love
You need reasons to prove my love
You need ways to know that I am worthy
This was never love my dear
And this is all never ought to be
So goodbye from me forever
Forever I will ever see
Your way and my way are different to be!
I know it's bitter in the heart
I know it's never easy to part
But it's better to heal a broken heart
Then to stay in a mess from the start
So with all the memories that I have
I tell you an honest goodbye
Goodbye my love from my end
A love that I could never mend
Goodbye forever!
It was your love which wasn't pure
Or there was no connection and allure
Things have truly turned too sour
And nothing can change now in life
Things can turn too bad with all this vice
So goodbye from me for it was never love
Which neither of us could ever see
A final bye from my side to you!
I can really explain you the reason
I am feeling numb in this season
It was a mistake that couldn't be healed
And our love could not get that seal
It was never meant to be that way
And I just want to say
That life will move on with a broken heart
You will always be a special part
Goodbye from me to you!
I gave you my all in love oh girl
And I could swear it all in life
But you left me half way heartbroken
Tell me how I will survive
I will never love again in life
Coz this has left me shattered
And left a gap in my heart forever
Goodbye from me to you!
So easy it was to go away like this
So easy it was to leave the way
So easy it was to just call this off
So easy it was to say
That you don't love me any more
That we should just break this tie
Not as easy as it was meant to be
Coz true love will never die
Goodbye from me to you
It's a final goodbye!
The way you used to pretend
The way you used to care for me
The way in which you were there for me
Never thought it was all fake
You made my life a mess
How could you make
A mockery out of our love
Goodbye from me to you forever
Forever in that shove!
The way you have betrayed me
The way you cheated on me
It's hard to believe in love anymore
It's hard to give my heart
You broke my heart oh girl
After a lovely start
I feel so vulnerable now
So much in pain
Goodbye from me to you
For love that went in vain!
BY DERICK MUTAI