Crude Limerick Poems

"Unfortunately, it’s unrealistic to rescue all wildlife impacted during oil spills." - quote by NOAA on oil-spills
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Even oil spills on ocean surface roars
Grieving the odd...

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AI Da, the world’s first ultra realistic robot artist recently painted a 7.5 foot portrait of the English mathematician, Alan Turing, which sold for $...

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Act One: the stage and scenery are set
I was told the play, I'd not soon forget
But if truth were to be told
More like the game,...

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Dracula would go on adventure
and loved to drink in local culture,
but he discovered, alas,
that strange food gave him gas,
not to mention one heck of an...

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Aunt Ethel loves sunbathing nude
Her wizened breasts clearly are viewed
Ethel’s aged ninety-nine
She says, “MY boobs are fine
But surgical implants look crude”...

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He heard that the zoo was for sale;
a donkey and tiger he'd 'nail':
'I want' - to the lass -
'your pussy and ass!'
(And that's why he's...

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Bananas and cucumbers find
a place in the dirtiest mind.
Is losing her cherry
to courgettes a worry?
Who knows but one's up her behind......

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Okay, I'm back to this innocent old dude
My reputation was in danger of being poopooed
I'm an okay Jack
Back on track
But can't promise I won't be...

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A crude young fellow from upstate New York
He never learned to handle a fork
He jabbed at his food
In fact, he was quite rude
And he behaved...

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Miss Conduct rocks on her high horse
And vitriol soon starts to course
Right through all her veins
She always complains
There’s never a hint of remorse

She’s always so...

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The European Court of Human Rights
Have just approved Catholic appetites
The Vatican can't be sued
No matter how crude or rude
Sovereign Immunity sybarites!...

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I once knew a lad from Mississippi
Who was known for being rather lippy
His retorts were rude
His mannerism crude
And strangely, he was a sixties hippie.

written September...

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Light Verse

Marvell-Less
by Michael R. Burch 

Mr. Marvell was ill-named? Inform us!
Alas, his crude writings deform us:
for when trying to bed
chaste virgins, he led
off with his...

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Shaun was a wee little man,
Who was known to sit quiet and plan.
He'd not put on shows,
He looked down his nose,
On those who tried to...

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French cuisine for some see it crude.
Eating snails appear horribly lewd,
but well known in France,
its folk took a stance,
as the French cannot stand fast food....

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