I am sad; I am hurt my heart is longing for some love.
I have found that love before but I seem to have no more, if I had not seen it for
myself! I would have never believed how it flew right out from underneath me on
that rainy day’ he was like a bird that flew from his cage. He was wanting free from
my love; I knew my love was true for him! As I thought his was true for me.
I sit here silent in voice and screaming in thought
All that i feel is all that i can not see
I am anxious with passion and worried with ambition
Forsaken by what is right and longing by what is wrong
All that i am is alive and all that I am is not dead
Weak with compassion I long for sensuality
I wish to feel pleasure unlike anykind
I want to be taken but with no warning
I wish to be swept away by the tide and gently placed on the sand
I want laughter but not from me
I long to be kissed all over softly without speaking of my mind
I want to be understood without saying what i mean
I yearn to be heard and actually remembered
I want with all my heart to feel beautiful and sexy but not for a purpose of so
I smile and carry on as if i had no cares to tell but hope to find one who knows that i
am not
I want peace and happiness and to be at ease with myself
What the hell can I do with a pen
other than stab myself with emotion
would someone feel the pain
understand the constant agony
would they hear the tone of emptiness
or the longing in my heart to be held
thine ink has run its race
no ribbons for the losers
refills become another journey
to that backward path so hollow
indian ink shall one day become extinct
and the ashes will reach far and wide
but where will they land
upon which soul will they touch
whom will share the pain
caress the inner demons
and be thankful
to know they were never alone......
S is for the sexual abuse I endured
U is for the unknown answer of why
R is the reality of it, but longing for the readiness to go on
V is for the very innocence that was stolen long ago
I is for the innocent child I was
V is for the vulnerable child I was, but am not now
I is for the "I", I have become
N is for not letting go of hope and courage to heal
G is for God and the greater things he has in store for me.
when she looks in the mirror
she sees a stable woman
with ok looks
a pretty smile
and a beautiful sense of humor
but when she looks inside
she sees a mass destruction
a beast awaiting to get out
and she dosent know how long she can keep it in
she sees a little girl longing the love,
of someone close to her
someone that shed die a million times for them to accept her
she sees a demon waiting the right moment to arise
she sees a careless being that cares for no one but themself
when she looks in the mirror,
i see me
One by one they fall,
Into each other’s arms they go
Perfect and pretty they are,
Their heaven hurts my eyes.
Realistic, pessimistic I am,
Or envy, longing I have?
Something similar I want,
Something similar I need?
I am fine but I am not,
I am angry but I am passive.
To have that happiness once,
For everything there’s a first.
Will what they have
Change everything and me?
I do not know honestly,
But life’s experience will tell.
Old age creeps up on human beings suddenly,
or so it seems,
We spend so much time chasing dreams, that
years pass by, and although we feel as teenagers do
in our minds,
Sometimes the aging process can be unkind,
Then one day we notice a tiny wrinkle or a gray
hair and we want to send out alerts everywhere,
We try to shrug the changes off by telling ourselves that
our best years are yet to come,
However, in our hearts we know the early signs of aging were no
hidden surprise, but our games of distraction catches up
with us, illuminating our denial,
creating a longing for the wonder years.
We often try to push away
The difficult moments
Scared and tired
We don't want to stand
Before things we don't like
And it's punishing
But there comes a time
In the dusk of life
When you feel yourself longing until it hurts
For even the worst moment
Of your life
Before there was a word,
there was a loneliness
within the pin pricked night.
Waves of vibrations, sound,
coalescent’s gestate.
Planets were birthed with souls.
There was only the soul
and a longing for words,
synapses gestating
wavelengths of loneliness,
the aching lack of sound,
and the celestial night.
Man was born to midnight
with eyes and ears for soul
to din’s discordant sound,
no harmony, no words,
aging, aching, alone,
thoughts thus, wordless, gestate.
Circular gestation
for the day became night
and weakened loneliness,
woman kind brought her soul.
Ether resounded with words
for those souls, the God sound.
Strong, sweet, silibant sound
released from gestation
song formed from combined words,
crooning fills the nubile night
joining of mated souls.
The Word freed loneliness.
No longer alone, vibrating within the sound each atom relates to the soul
Gestation continues in the never-ending cycle of night and the Word.
*dedicated to L'nass Shango & David Smalling for their inspiration.
I was very young,
Laying wrapped in cotton sheets.
Eyes heavy with soft happiness
Touched by the warm hand of a summer sun.
Breathed on by flower scented air
Cradled into a smiling sleep.
I was grown up
Laying wrapped in damp cotton sheets
Eyes dazzled with fierce desire
Touched by the flesh of dark promises
Breathed on by a scented whisper
Cocooned into a satisfied sleep
I was older still
Laying on a plastic seat
Eyes forced to find florescent lights
Touched by fear and longing
Breathed on by boozy fighters
Unable to sleep, waiting to be called
I was a parent
Laying in a too hot bed
Eyes wrestling against my ears
Touched by annoyance and sympathy
Breathed on by weary milky air
Forced not to sleep but longing for it.
I am very old
Laying wrapped in plastic sheets
Eyelids glued against my cheek
Touched by frigid cold
Breathed on by disinfected mouths
Waiting for sleep.
I'm stumbling and falling,
Must keep going there is no stalling,
Away from this longing,
The longing of belonging,
I'm crying,
And sighing,
Tumbling and fumbling,
As the road below me is crumbling,
Of my destination there's no way of knowing,
But I know I must and will keep going,
There's no lying,
My hopes are dying,
This path is terrifying,
But I must and will keep trying.
Echoed to a wooded peak
Over hill and glen
From a distant shining shore
Hear as it descends
Whisper promises to ear
Open, longing more
Speak of sacred love
Sing of ancient lore
Called to mountain pass
From a gentle stream
Even from the distance
The peaks give off their gleam
To the starry sky
My eyes; fixed wide
Hold a promise to heart
Eager steed to ride
Run through land untamed
Leaning trails behind
Lightness in our walk
Captured in my mind
Here begins the trail
Follow but a call
Echoed through the woods
Here I leave it all
An ache, some hurt with longing to yearn
Cauldron left to simmer with passion
Bubbles in the fire ball of desire
Closely watch topless metaphors;
Animal instinct with intuition
Gets drawn in a desperate hunger
As she is wooed in the foreplay
Melodious moments with sensation;
Makes her cower to his firm will,
For she loves the rapture and thrill:
I was surprised to find that i am not changed.
I knew what it was like to trade my mind for a bowl, to set my senses on fire with just
a few puffs.
But i am no different , i didn't die or scream out. In fact i'm pretty much the same.
Except i long for the feeling of no control ; locked within my self .
I am afraid i unlocked a demon beast i want to ride long and hard till i am violently
yanked off his back.
no, i wasn't changed, i was burned in to deep longing for more crazy un control, I'm a
little scared.
In free fall I play to your liquid destiny,
Burn with uncontrolled desire in wet ecstasy,
Seek to quell the wind as you mist and cling to me,
Like dew drops in mergers my body swings with thee.
A trail of longing and desperation in love,
Ebbs within voluptuous curve of excitement,
To trace passion and recline in the seduction,
Lewd flow within the arms becoming one with you:
Let me breathe freshness to sequester your frail wiggle;
Disown my body and spirit in nature's giggle.
Related Poems