us men put the seat up when we wee in the loo,
so our wee doesn't hit it, we're thinking of you!!
we pee in the middle of the bowl which is round,
but end shakes can hit seats if seats are left down,
so moving it up is not a thoughtless task,
ensuring no puddles where you put your as*
now women want jobs only men tend to have,
so let's share the seat moving job of the lav.
reply to Jan's "I need to sit" poem
lol jokes
Zip Zap Zung and Zing
Poem made with a ding
Hip Hop Hulu Town
Word Play goes down
Whip whir twis shou
Shake your boots all abou
Fine time you will have
Fun with most dim and lav
drop off a corn store
Iowa magi show bee fore
bun wag and ring toss
fun with word play keen goss
Zip Zap Zung and Zing
Buy in bulk ding dong ding
Hip Hop Hulu Town
Word play goes down
[starboard port]
the ocean—an onyx plate predawn—
somnambulant ships preen with a swag of
warning lights
massive hulls: cargo ships, flotillas, tankers,
passenger liners loll; red lights buss
the somber slate of sky—spangled strings of
bawdy bulbs on the riggings—pole dance
beside the quay—ridged, behemoth smokestacks
toy with the flames of gold and white
[cabin’s lav—occupied]
waiting, my mind trundles to funeral pyres
Viking ships, then returns to marvel at
on-coming airport pot lights which
upstage the walled gasps
[very occupied]
the exodus to Singapore crescendos
we land—manned the plane performs
a ritual slide—ash and steam spew from
stacks of the other perpendicular
members
Touch down.
[the door opens]
First Published by Shooter Literary Magazine Spring of 2017
1
Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Scenic lavatory
2
Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Moonlit lavatory
3
Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Rider’s lavatory
4
Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny
5
Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Pristine lavatory
6
Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
Monumental lav.
He is my happines
my joy
my laughter
my pride
my paradise,
he is my everything.
I love him
though he cannot
i pray that he finds the
love of his heart
sumeone who loves and
adores him
as much as i do
sumeone who wil
unconditionally love him
that sumeone who''l
love him endlessly...
Although i lav him
i pray that he finds his
missing master-piece...
I have got love for him
in abundace
but he left me in despair
for i'm not the one his
heart is longing for....
I love him
though he cannot
i simply love him
though he cannot......
The Mozzies are biting, we forgot the Aeroguard
The ants, all the bickies are about to bombard
The twins are fightin’ and actin’ real mean
This family picnic, it’s a real bloody scene
The baby’s cryin’ ‘cause he bashed both ‘is knees
The flies in the marg, and the dogs got the cheese
Grans gone walkabout lookin’ for the lav
Cripes, there’s a Kookaburra, poopin’ on the pav!
Young Curly’s so famished, he’s eatin’ mud pies
And bluey’s being chased by some peckin’ magpies
Dav’s bashin’ his missus and actin’ like a lout
She forgot the plonk and the beers run out
Old gramps at the barbie burnin’ the snags
Dad’s really cussin’ ‘cause Mum’s snitched his fags
Now the tuckers ready as the rain in buckets pours
Streuth! Another get together in the great outdoors!
Those pint glass bottomed spectacles
are staring up at me
as you gurgle down another beer
and burp and boff with glee.
Gone are your inhibitions
your humanity and pride,
you're acting like an animal
now that alcohol's inside.
You're acting kind of foolish
like I've never seen before,
the kind of things you wouldn't do
if sober as before.
Gone is the man I used to know
the gent with love and care,
now when if you return at night
our home's a lion's lair.
Not realizing you're losing us
by being out from three,
you're spending all the money
on the booze not rent or tea.
You're married to the drinker's tap
unbalanced and disturbed,
our wardrobe's not a public lav
your senseless lunacy's absurd!
Now take off those pint glass spectacles
when you dare to look at me
you're killing off the you inside
along with love of family.
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