PMs come and go, face dissent,
Resident am I permanent.
To doddle all the time
My duty is in prime,
Seven PMs came here and went
In fifteen years I came
What a chair changing game!
As Chief Mouser I’m a lifelong tenant.
___________________________
Happenings |14.07.2026 |14.07.2026 | cat, humour, political, satire, Limerick
Note: British prime ministers can learn a trick or two from the resident cat who has been there at Ten Downing Street ever since 2015 as ‘Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office’. This limerick is set in his words.
Uncle Larry has been in a grumpy mood since he returned from Nam
Wears a perpetual permanent scowl on his face
his lips are always in a sarcastic style pout
He does this to keep people away
I hate people he says, which is not him at all
We nephews and nieces know better
this tough exterior with the leather jacket is a front
to keep people away, because he is a softie
he cannot say “no”; and it gets him into trouble.
He is always lending money to someone or giving them rides.
He has been taken advantage of time and time again.
This is why he wears this mean face, to protect himself.
It might work on strangers, but we live in a small town.
Everyone here knows the real Larry.
If you need anything, anytime, you will ask him first.
He is that kind of guy.
Wild Wilma woodland faerie
lived in a lantern with lucky Larry
An elf resolved to never commit or marry
This is why he soon lost his love, Wilma faerie
Best described as lizard slime,
Larry was worst of all time.
His big rheumy nose
was red as a rose
And his eyes glowed green as lime!
once a fat turkey named larry
with feathers dirty and hairy
gobbled on with glee
i'm leaving you see
into a portal less scary.
Larry is just a baby.
He was falsely accused.
He would never do that!
The teacher said, “I saw him”.
“You lie,” Larry’s mother said.
“He was framed. He is a good boy.
He would never do that!” Larry’s mother says.
They show it to him on video.
“It’s a fake,” she tells the principal.
“He has anger issues. He needs counseling.
You people have never helped him.
He is misunderstood.
You are prejudiced against my son!”
Larry’s mother protests to the high school prom committee.
Larry is now visiting her son in prison.
Screaming that he was not guilty.
He did not do it.
He is a “good boy”.
That squirrel is getting to me my cousin lamented.
But the squirrel got killed by a car, and grief fermented.
She had left a nest of babies, all together there were four
Larry fed them with eyedroppers, not afraid of rabies or more
He named them Larry Curly Moe and Shemp; they were now in his care.
Did not seem to mind the rodent smell that was clearly in the autumn air
Brought them next to his bed, so he could do night feedings too.
He has gone crazy for them said his wife, little Annabelle Lou.
Helter-skelter, upper-downer,
Bigger smaller, richer poorer
Bitter sweeter, kinder meaner
Sifter opener, thicker thinner.
Meek or dumb, pinky and thumb
Top or bottom, height and fathom.
Head or toe, friend and foe
Day or night, left and right.
Larry scoops Moe; Moe swoops Curly
Curly chunks Larry; Larry yanks Moe.
Women know which men to marry
And Normal Woman won’t tarry;
To keep praising her Sir Barry
But it’s going to be Larry,
Barry to keep giving her Garri
To keep enjoying it Larry…
And she’d keep flirting with Harry,
Who her great burdens does carry;
Ceremonial thanks to Zorro
Who in her behalf would borrow,
Promising creditors morrow
But bed-time sleeping in sorrow…
Poor Zorro who does hard soils harrow
And watch over sows that farrow.
"Shine my boots, wench!" Larry said
"Fetch my wine and cheese and bread!
Tidy up my murphy bed!
Feed the hog and Mr. Ed!
Corn mash for Rhode Island Red!
Why look so gobsmacked by dread?
Did you not say I thee wed?"
"Oh, I said it, until dead"
I confessed, then bashed his head.
Larry and his dog Franklin
Are the best of friends
They are always together
Wherever Larry goes
Franklin does also
Franklin is a Black Lab
His fur shines in sunshine
Franklin likes to sunbathes
He lays in the sunshine
He is a happy fella
Everyone knows Larry
As well his dog Franklin
Larry and Franklin
Live in the flower garden
Being stautes side by side
Larry used to tell lies
Looking one straight in the eyes
He came a cropper
When telling a whopper
Because telling of lies he denied
Larry and his Sheep Dog Scruffy
Are together always on the road
Larry has knowledge of gardening
So he is well known by all
Larry has a huge van
So he packs what tools he needs
Even brings his lawn chair
As well his dog Scruffy and beer
He works from house to house
His dog Scruffy keeps him company
When the gardening is done
Larry and Scruffy play ball
When Larry's job is done
They play ball together
They are company for each other
Larry my gardener sits on my deck
He is a gnome sits in a lawn chair
His hat is red pointy on top
His beard is long and white
Green jacket,blue pants
the boots he wears is black
Scruffy is a two tone color
Lit grey and white in color
With a bright pink tongue
Scruffy is my statue dog
"Who am I? Larry the fly!" -Larry
Larry daydreamed of being a fly.
Eventually he began to live his life
As if he really were a fly.
When people asked in horror,
"Larry, why are you eating dog ****?"
Larry would calmly reply, "I'm a fly."
His mother was extremely keen
He should marry a pretty colleen
But Harry met Larry
And they did not tarry
Their marriage it was not foreseen!
His girlfriend he was due to marry
But secretly Harry wed Larry
His mother went mad
And so did his dad
It’s a burden they have to carry
01/03/18
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