Tom the Terror-Turkey
Have you not heard of the legend
of Terror Turkey Tom?
Who roams the woods punishing those
who do Thanksgiving wrong?
The bird with an unending hate
for those folks that he sees
putting up their Christmas décor
exceedingly early.
None now how the bird for like this,
though many have their say,
some thing a Christmas-hating witch
cursed him to be this way.
Others think he’s a demon-bird,
sent from the pits of Hell,
or that he watched Christmas Carol
and didn’t react well.
Whatever made Tom so upset,
and no one knows the truth,
what’s clear is if you put up lights
early, he comes from you.
On one chilly November 1st
he found a big box store,
and destroyed the fake Christmas trees
they’d put out on the floor.
The next day he happened upon
a blow-up Santa Claus,
the kids cried when the found St. Nick
shredded up by his claws.
One of those light-up reindeer was
the next foe on his mind,
he tore poor Rudoph’s antlers off,
as warning to his kind.
When he saw blinking lights strung out
before Thanksgiving Eve,
he pecked out every single one,
how greatly did he seethe.
He saw one woman putting up
garlands before the snow,
pecked her shins ’till her yoga pants
no longer could be sown.
When festive elves went up after
the night of Halloween,
he pecked their eyes so all would know
exactly what he means.
Most say that he is sill out there
hunting the green and red,
if seen before Thanksgiving Day
then you will know his dead.
You’ll hear his gobble in the night
and you will know the pain
of what happens when Holidays
don't stay in their own lane;
So mind the seasons as they come,
don’t push Christmas too far,
or else Tom the Terror Turkey
is coming to your yard.
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