Humorous Horror Poems

Earth Eulogy

By Mark D. Stucky
She was a good planet,
put to death in her prime
by a pandemic of people.
Homo-sapiens was a disease
with mutating and metastasizing
technological and...

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His tongue might work well in commodes
Trump's flapper lets loose toxic loads
Spewing crap from the can
This Hitleresque man
Shows how constipation explodes 

Author's note: Why does...

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See dazzling bowls and vessels, pots of brass
Old copper kettles, cups of gold, and chiming clock
Porcelain statuettes, fake Tiffanies, stained glass
Oak storage towers, ivories of...

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I am a little bit of a trickster 
It has to be said
A wee bit mischievous
Somewhat bonkers in the head

Friends came to stay the night
So...

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This is way the flesh ends not in burning or dust
Not in a whimper but a scream
As you see I am an Artiste and such,...

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He went home gaily after a few pegs
Fell onto his bed dangling his soiled legs
Blissfully fell asleep soon
His wife came calling him “loon”
Falling from bed,...

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Margaritas in a blender,
Sans the lime juice, soon will render
recipes for all-night benders.

It's party time, with fun galore!
Supplies are low; it's time for more.
Against advice,...

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...She looked at him with a sneer and a snarl,
Then looked off to the priest with venom eyes,
Only to look back and rage at Marton,
“You...

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...“I will not just kill you,”she then proclaimed,
“That is too easy, I will make you hurt!
When your dread becomes real, I will come bite one,
then...

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When Marton awoke from the deep haze
he didn’t quite know at first where he was,
and last remembered beers at the tavern,
but then nothing…and what could...

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Is that you there 
I recognize that stair
Those eyes of a faraway dream
Fancy seeing you here, on this twilight day 
While walking along this 
Sterile...

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What's something 
really gross 
you've seen lately? 

For me, 
it was a toothless old lady 
on a bus stop bench, 
gumming Cheetos she first 
softened...

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I wrote this last year. A cute Halloween Story. For those who haven't read it, I hope you enjoy. Happy Halloween! Not for children.

https://www.poetrysoup.com/short_stories/a_halloween_diary_6420...

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                A vicious spell has been cast 
  ...

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Lemme titillate thee
regarding myself daily soldiering thru breastworks
read out loud to experience where dangerfield lurks
twenty five years a husband unknown marital perks
bachelorhood to die for,...

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