Hate Hilarious Poems

Where is Twitter?
Who is or what is X?
I do not mean Super X?
I want to tweet a rumor
I was away for a few days
I am...

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She is so ugly she needs a reincarnation 
far too fat for a one time zone nation 
chuck her an apple it goes into orbit...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where...

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Who is your favorite family member? Jerry Stringer asks me.
I look around the stage and out in the audience, seeing many expectant faces.
My husband, three...

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Since I can't say the words that I want to use
We r going to have a little fun and light the fuse
I don't give 2...

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This embarrassingly irreverent piece is loosely based on a true story for which I've paid the price for pretty much causing it to happen more...

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I can do it tomorrow, I think, feeling good in my pajamas.
Isn’t this Monday? My husband asks.
Drat! I thought it was Sunday.
Have I already had...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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We need so much more
Even when no more is all there is
We want to go further
Even when the end begins another end
What lies between need...

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They laugh like the whole world is noticing
I laugh like no one is watching me

They laugh to hide their fear and their lies
I laugh till...

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Have you ever been told you’re ugly not welcome
You smile with a mouth you shouldn’t open
Have you ever been told your bum looks like a...

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Spartan

Some men are born to play, 
and some… are not.
To them life is without common joy,
at least the kind others partake. 
But it is instead...

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As I lay upon the floor
Hubby at the bedroom door
Ready and steady
What girl could ask for more
A smile upon his face
A twinkle in his eye
Jogging...

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X Factor Disaster.

She certainly has the X factor
Beauty chic and flair
And if I had one wish
I’d be her teddy bear
Eyes of fire
A wasp waist
And a...

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Buxom blonde, eyelashes long
Cabaret singer
Belting out a bawdy song

She’s a dead ringer
Pure sex too
For 50’s lounge singer

Sensual boobs, wig so thick
My most calm boy
Made up...

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