THE FAMOUS ACORN HEIST OF ‘23
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a squirrel named Hank,
Who rode on a Harley, quite swank.
To the food bank he quickly sped,
With a heist planned in his head,
For acorns, he thought he could prank.
He zoomed past the trees with a whoop and cheer.
His goggles and scarf made it most clear.
He burst through the door with a grin.
“Just a snack for my ride, no break in.
Not to worry. I won’t harm you. Have no fear.”
Ahh, but the food bank staff were quite astute
They were wise to his ridiculous, nutty pursuit.
The joke was on our furry friend,
For the food bank, they send,
Hank home with a bag of healthy fruit!
Categories:
heist, 12th grade, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Halloween heist
(Anapaestic Tetrameter)
As the ghosts of tomorrow amass in the hall,
unaware of the darkness descending around,
from the silhouettes crawling along the back wall,
to the creaking of doors with the faintest of sound.
Then a walking ensemble invaded the room,
as the gremlins start growling their threat and demand,
made the joy of the people turn quickly to gloom,
with their creepy attire and light weapons in hand.
A true heist is afoot, no trick for Halloween,
“Now just open the wallets, hand over the cash.
if you follow our orders, we will not be mean
just surrender your jewels, we’re out in a flash”.
In the land of the living, there’s instants of dread,
Be afraid of the mortals, not scared of the dead.
11.02.2022
Contest: Halloween poetry contest
Sponsor: Emile Pinet
Words used: creepy, descending, silhouettes, gloom, darkness, living, open, walking, Halloween, dread.
Categories:
heist, halloween, violence,
Form: Sonnet
HOMOPHONE RHYME STYLE TRIAL 2
I saw a murder with my one good eye
A loud one too. What was the cause?
Commotion in the tree, thought I
Judging by incessant caws
It was in the early morning
Just a hair, I think, past eight
Maybe they were in mourning
Or was it something they had ate
I leaned out by the window pane
To see what they had in their cache
Well my pocket really felt the pain
A nest made out of all my cash!
I wanted back what I had seen
I think my watch was up there too!
But last time it was quite the scene
And I left with one eye less than two
Categories:
heist, bird, humor,
Form: Quatrain
Vocal, nocturnal, creepy
Silent and sneaky
Binocular vision, sharp sight
They are active at night
We are asleep
They are awake
Our lives are at stake.
"Do not trap yourself into an owl's hooting sound where sad nights linger through the blackness of a hound".
Note.It's not the devil it's the People who work for the devil.
Lesson.Honeyed words and furtive movements are not risk free.
Moral.Police meharban to ulu gulu pehalwan.
Categories:
heist, flying, integrity, may, prison,
Form: Rhyme
Clyde Shanks
Robs banks
With gal
Named Sal
For tasks
Wear masks
Take loot
And scoot
Foot race
Cops chase
Both caught
All naught
Both ruffed
And cuffed
To jail
No bail
Court date
Learned fate
Judge tough
No guff
To pen
For ten
Categories:
heist, humorous,
Form: Footle
I searched high and low
Searched left and right
Searched from morning
To half past midnight
Where could it go
It was there in the desk
Someone's messing with me
Is it just a test
Now it's missing in action
I feel like a blind man
Are my eyes closed
Blindly searching with hands
This isn't the first time
This has happened
Set something down
And somehow it vanished
Test of my patients
A trick of my brain
Searched tirelessly
Drove myself insane
Only one solution
To the hunt I am on
No way I lost it
Someone took it, it's gone
I feel the presence
Stolen items it's a heist
It's happily watching
Silent laughing poltergeist
Written 3-4-19
Categories:
heist, allusion, anger, conflict, confusion,
Form: Rhyme
a strobe of flashing lights and the
smell of smoking cordite filled the
leaden night
the brush brush brush of silent velcro
and cocking guns and their knobbled sons (grenades)
rolled like severed heads bouncing in the rain
a choir of startled starlings flapped and flew
like bankers new with profit, up towards the diamond sky,
peace on earth goodwill to muscled thighs and skirmished
upper decks of barrels, flushed and hot from bullets bouncing
from the necks of uninvited robbers, dressed in black ...
now disrupted from their grim toil
and outside, witness to this merry hell...the watchers wait
with covered mouths and fibrillating hearts, protected by an
armoured car, while a thousand blue-bottle police
eager for promotion, scamper through the carrion
walkway, keen to be on TV
ah!...what's this?... a glimpse of death pervades the scene,
a limp bag of shattered bone and failed hopes brought to bear
we see,
his crime today, will not pay
Categories:
heist, anxiety, courage, death, fear,
Form: Free verse
Look little girl
It's not what it looks like
It's really, really not
I came for a picnic with the orphanage
And the food I simply forgot
Look little girl
Don't get all upset
Don't get yourself in a state
I am sure all the others
Won't mind if they donate
Look little girl
It's the gospel truth
I take it for the needy
You've got it all completely wrong
It's not just me being greedy
Look little girl
I've tried everything else
I even called in at the shops
Please little girl, just stop screaming
You're going to alert the cops
Now come on officer
The orphans are starving
This is really not fair
That's my excuse, I am sticking to it
My name?
Erm………….Yogi Bear
Categories:
heist, children, kids, funny,
Form: Rhyme
OH no!~ A heist in progress!
Stop!
Put down that box!
A failed diet
Waist size increasing
Care to share a donut?
For the "Just The Facts" contest
Categories:
heist, christian, people,
Form: Light Verse
We're all gearing up for the diamond jubilee
Said the bunting waving neighbours smiling with glee
We're all cheering up for the diamond jubilee
Keeping calm and carrying on, truly britishly
We're all working tirelessly for the diamond jubilee
Another priveleged, frivolous squandering of our tax money
Government on high alert for the diamond jubilee
The inhumane lawful theft, by bloody royalty
We're all leaving work for the diamond jubilee
Lovely, if the queen foots the bill, instead of you and me
So many people smile so smugly at the diamond jubilee
From every branch of that twisted family-moneytree
Everyday people have paid for this diamond jubilee
A party for the richest robbers and the regal dynasty.
©John-Ovan.P.Hull
Categories:
heist, people, people, people,
Form: Monorhyme
The Heist of the Kidney Beans
By Elton Camp
In Pascagoula, Mississippi a burglar did grab
Several times from the drug store some Lortab
The Fred’s store manager very angrily griped
Although Lortab was the only thing he swiped
The pharmacist decided he would make a decoy
So a funny trick was what he decided to employ
Thief came but the pharmacist wanted to throttle
He found only kidney beans in the Lorbab bottle
(Note: true story)
Categories:
heist, funny
Form: Rhyme
She keeps screaming, "Carpe diem!"
all while swinging her axiom.
Crowds of merchants duck in alarm,
slapping the ground to evade harm.
Sweaty cries drift in stagnant air,
while brutal force taunts those who dare
to ignite a defiant eye.
Zealous disdain molds our reply.
We converge in swift succession,
blast the vault to gain possession
of that precious cargo inside:
proof our purpose can’t be denied.
Moments tick down as we retreat,
pumping hard as we hit the street.
Clutching the future in our hand,
we share a smirk as we disband.
Squads tear past our steely escape
as we melt into the landscape.
Calmly, we hide in our disguise,
while my adored safeguards our prize.
Glide over scorched hill and valley;
fortune impels our finale
as raised hands hail our rendezvous,
cheering with comrades of virtue.
Tears of relief stream with fervor,
pride of my role as preserver.
Seeds of revolt are welcomed back
to guard each other from attack.
Categories:
heist, adventure, allegory
Form: Couplet