Gonads Poems

figure out

righty tighty 
lefty loosey
grip on gonads
gripe on choosie


***

Fruit and Nuts

Grants gonads turned purple like plums
To 'Doctor' Google he succumbs
But his wife insisted
His nuts may be twisted
He’s praying an ambulance comes!

Bawdy Limerick

My neighbour, his name's Tu Hung Lo
His gonads he’d tie with a bow
To attract a young filly
Cos Tu’s got a small willy
One look and the ladies say NO! 

In passing I happened to mention
Tu obtains a todger extension
After big surgery
Tu is very happy
And certainly stands to attention!

02/13/21

Deadloins

Intermittent masks
deflate guilt squandered gonads
dead on arrivals

Conundrum

Conundrum 

This confounding conundrum,
This continuing act of untying the pesky knots of existence,
This conniving, beating whirlwind of ever-swirling stresses,
Again served up on a plate mixed with legumes and angst,
Is taking all of us to the brink of aqueous insanity.
Life is eating at our gonads like a ravenous chigger,
And the madness of it all bites at our minds and hearts,
Leaving half dead infected people with terminal frowns.


We wake up every morning dreading the endless daily tasks,
The endless psycho-dramas concerning trivial insignificances,
The never-ending shuffles through the busy, hopeful turnstiles, to
Another turn of the page, another interminable trip to Magic City,
Where we all find our share of romantic nirvana dressed in grey suede.
But a dollar must be earned to pay the bill of the one who must pay his.
And so, we continue to breathe on reflexively and instinctively,
Like fat whales pulsing in a green bay.

50 Words For Poe: Winter

"50 Words for Poe: Winter"



Hey, you know how it goes
when you had your first kiss

Poetry kind of gets you between
the gonads with that kinda shizz

Yep, you’re lost on the swell when it
hits that frizz

You just gotta hit the surf and 
when the waves come for you
dive under the Effers
You’ll come out of the Lemonade, betya 10 quids
Head up, you’re King or Queen of the Waves

This is how "IT" begins

Sharks, bellies full of sunk brave
are there to awaken

"Kavorka" 
Byron knew that biz

"Kavorka"
Poetry in Bliss

Go on
Deal those cards 
Black Jack

No Pikers

Never pass this way again
It’s Now or Never

We’re ALL heading towards Winter

(LadyLabyrinth/2019)




https://youtu.be/MKAC7t0P65o
Steely Dan...




"One always has to be willing to lose to be able to win... in battle and in life.”

Caught With His Pants Down - Bawdy

Her hubby was found with a bimbo
He's naked, her legs were akimbo
Can’t deny the fact
He’s caught in the act
His marriage now is in limbo

Wife’s livid - he’s dressed in a trice
She'd clamp his gonads in a vice!
He’s been playing away
Now there’s hell to play
No cheating would be my advice!

It’s time his wife showed him the door
He’s bonked other ladies before
So it’s not the first time
That he’s cheated, the swine
Unfaithfulness partners abhor!

3/7/19

A Former Lifetime Ago

watching people go by
footprints of carelessness on my existence
two pancake corndogs, two hot dog specials, and a fruitopia
plasma donation money, wet hiking boots, and tired legs from endless walking
metabolism and starvation....images of homemade cheese grits and a bacon and cheese omelette with mushrooms
at the library constantly looking at cookbook pictures
imagining the way i will eat the art on every page
swallowing my saliva mixed with phlegm and pretending
my gonads are even shaking and yearning for nourishment
my legs are damn near jelly and i suddenly break out in a strange type of sweat
thoughts all over the place till abstract insanity
my eyes are bouncing balls devoid of real world time
....as i watch people go by....living life like regular with no hint of inflated flatulence

Obama Has No Coconuts - Revised From Earlier Version

I've watched this bum that some call President - Commander In Chief,

He made dozens of promises during his first campaign and none he did keep,

Promised "CHANGE" on a grand scale and has only made this country worse,

And if you carefully look at his overall record can only be described as 
perverse,

War, terrorist plane crashes and illegal aliens by the train loads break our 
laws,

While this pompous fool flies the USA collecting funds for his empty lying 
cause,

This arrogant man is a flat out disgrace to both his White and African heritage,

When confronted with facing his rivals this no gonads leader cowers in his 
cage,

Imprisoned by an overblown ego thinking he can simply ignore his 
counterparts,

A failure in so many ways it boggles a mind how so many voters had no 
smarts,

Electing for the second time a low IQ Harvard graduate fooling lots of old 
farts,

So please Lord deliver us all from this despot before our freedom departs. 


Copyright 2014 Robert William Gruhn A.R.R.

Meats N Cheeses

Few years ago
I smashed two flies
engaged in aerial coitus.
Today, I poked their
corpse
Fell to the floor,
leaving a crust of
Love Gunk
Mixed innards, crushed
and united gonads.
One true love, for
all time, the only
evidence of which
is smeared on my
ceiling.

My momma was making
me a sandwich,
n' she heard a loud
spkat.
A mouse, caught
in the trap by
his tail.
Tossed it in the
street, let the
cats rip 'im up.
That was a damn
good sandwich

Who held the chisel
and carved the cliffs?
Wrong metaphor.
Rocks,
rolling droplets
of water
and time.
The first
Ménage à trois

Yuan Oranaga-Taunga Was Here

Don Johnson Yuan-orang

We was in Coles a shopping center,
The wild man from Borneo appeared,
He reared up an started spraying 
Yuan Oranaga-Taunga was here

Followers in their blue-gum robes,
With bark a prickling round their ears,
With dollar coins attached to ear lobes,
Dodged and sidestepped as they savoured
Uric acid and sweet urea,

Holy-man was gesticulating,
Gonads flashing so sincere,
Red hairy waistcoat ever stating,
Yuan a Tanga was the seer,

Deported then he was so,
Dropped by parachute we hear,
Back to the wilds of Borneo,
Thought blinking Wombats bloody *****…

Don

Bad Ol Frank

BAD MOORAH-FRANK
Now Bad-Moorah-Frank he weren't a yank
He was Canadiannnnnn.
He didn't like the burglar Hank.
He'd stuff him up again!
Old Hank arrived at quarter to 5.
With jimmy bar and bag...
He sidled up to a window Clive
And stopped to have a ***....:)
He didn't see the electric wire
A pulsing in the dark
He felt the spark his voice got higher
As the live window left its mark
The "ac line" said Frank "was fine
For robbers in the dark"..
He'd screwed hot wire to the window frame 
With the cutout switch in park?
Oh the coppers came said you're to blame 
You near killed poor burglar Hank
He's having you up on "kill and maim"
Frank laughed "it turned his crank.....:)"
Old Frank rethunk "bout here's a thought"
Use the elecric fence for same...
Used 20 thousand volts for sport
Delay caused Hank some pain...;-)
The timer switch it was a bittt
As Hank crawled through the frame
The power switched Hank danced a bit 
Till his gonads were en flamed 
The coppers said "no he ain't dead
He might never be the same
His hair is frizzed his face is red
You ought to be ashamed
..... NOPE he he he....D Johnson

is this our future investment in security?

Practically?

why dont you go eat Sardines?
Stupid coupe, Cupid poop
dandalion wine, hmmm...
century's past
AProved uh by uh me
Hidden, Stricken, Chicken, Picken
my el camino..., blast OFF!
Sad And blue
bruiser
chosen by Lester (AKA The melester)
whats the deal with carnivores and gonads? (like Seinfeld)
Partionally everything
Feeler's And Grinders
The Quick And Deadly
Almost like an Alien
check the perimeter
Nothing ma'am.
They wanna be like Shotgun holders and shiiitt
girl, that's right.
what is Project implant zero? (like jeopardy)
Die living
Single Parent, Apparently Single
weight Watchers
introducing Air
you coulda guessed it
Romance with you, Grander than the heavens
my outlook is my Disease
Disaster Relief
ill teach you lines and colors
Kurt Cobain
smoke bombs and tazers
Run around in circles till you puke ( NO WAY )
what i say is Gone
Laying down all night thinking.
Jingle in
yeah, big Air
intruding fools ( i was one of them)
u no who im talkn bout miss thaang
if your reading this your eyes are open
123Floor
456Seven
8910Friend
it happend once, itll never happen again.
wierd timing
however ODD, it ws Shortly lived.

P D Ain'T Got Any

Tell me PD, 
how does it feel to be gender free?
And by that I mean 
how does it feel to be someone without any balls, be they gonads or ovaries?

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