Gar Poems | Examples

I am Hilarious Tonight

I was not always this clever, this funny, this incredibly smart
But it is two a.m. somewhere, and I am hilarious; it is my art.
Weirdly, I was not in any way exciting before I got to this bar.
But now I am unbelievably witty, ask my buddy, his name is Gar.

Aren’t I witty, Gar? Aren’t I pretty? Aren’t I fabulously humorous tonight?
He thinks so, believe me, though he cannot sit upright.
I am getting younger every second, my face is clearing up too.
Hilarity is my middle name; now where is my stupid shoe?

But wait, honey, aren’t I funny? The bartender is closing down the bar.
Whiskey is improving my looks. Now where’s my stupid car?

Gairjeen

It's the place called peace
a canopy of green
from mans un-baring sun
there no fear....here.

Its the place l close my eyes
and l just....listen
its a place to go to
and let the rain on leaves 
just ...glisten

chorus 

its full of senses
its full  of life
so l'll sit a while
and let it talk.

Its a place that has much to say
l'll softly walk its way
emerald green reflected eyes
his fallen one, i'm hidden....from his lies

 so lets stay a while
lets play like the child
his  promised harmony, no wars,
.....just mild

A place of peace
it's love will never cease
a place ....so peaceful
sit back, its time to mull

come with me, come and .... see
it's really not that far
bathe in its love
when then he says,
enough.... enough.

chorus

its full of senses, its full of life
l'll sit a while
and let it talk.

Bridge

come with me
open eyes and ..see
it's gar-jeen
and
its emerald green

Gairdin is Gaelic for Garden
pronounced..gar-jeen or gairjeen or gawr-jeen

Rags to riches, Parody'

You took this man from rags to riches..When you spent all
Heaven had to spare.' Your Sons blood bought me real redemption..Oh Father how you truly care.'

Now I'll no longer be that beg-gar.' You've made my golden
Dreams come true..' For He took my rags and gave back
Riches, now my destiny is up to you.'

My clothes may still be torn and tattered..Yet in my heart I
Hold the King.' Although my pockets may be empty..
His Love is all... That really matters.' Its ev-ry-thing!

Repeat on this stanza.'
He opened His arms on that cross though hurt sore.' He
Offered me treasure of life in great store.' He went  through
Grim death
And kicked in hells dark doors' Now I'll hold Him and 
Kiss Him.' And keep Him for mine evermore.!!


You took this man from rags to riches, you spent all heaven
Had to spare.' Your Sons Love bought me real redemption
Oh Father how you truly care.'


 Now I'm forever not that beg-gar..You've made my golden
Dreams come true.' For He took my rags; and gave back riches, now my destiny is up to You..)  End..'

Gar-Lick

    The witching hour draws near
      (whatever that implies)
    Your breath reeks of stale beer

    I cringe when you ask me for a kiss
      (from my virgin lips?!)
        ~ First take a lick of this… *



    ______________________________
    *Of course, you already referred back 
    to the title, didn't you? You didn't need
    my little reminder. (Heh-heh).

Winterland Schmunderland

Winter Wonderland Winter Schmunderland
I've had it up to my ying yang
If I never see another snowflake in my life
My big bass drum I'd bang

Wonderland, Schmunderland I've had enough
Don't know how I've made this far
Except for those few times in the loony bin
Still have my marbles, by gar

Well at least I think I still have my marbles
But sure wish I could feel my mouth
This Winter Schmunderland is really for the birds
Even they have sense to head south

Winter Wonderland Winter Schmunderland
Who really needs all of this crap
I'd certainly be a very much happier camper
If I could wear a hat without flaps

A Lady In Red

The lady in red

Ah, Cristiane, so tall an elegant you are
Your dress richly red cost more than a pensioner’s yearly pay
Perfect your make-up; did you need help?

Ah, Cristine, you are so stern, a tanned gym mistress
wants us to pay our taxes on time, be modest in our pay demand
You are a Goddess and therefore pay no taxes

Ah, Cristine, I saw you once at Gar Du Nord in Paris, boarding a train
tall you were, among grey-suited men, deeply tanned your face
Your silk scarf is so colourful; who is your hairdresser?

Ah, Cristine, severely you lectured the Greeks squandering money
Demanding they pay promptly and save on social expenses.
The day you went for a holiday in the Bahamas.

Winter Wonderland, Winter Schmunderland

Winter Wonderland, Winter Schmunderland
I've had it up to my ying yang
If I never see another snowflake in my life
My big base drum I'd bang

Wonderland, Schmunderland, I've had enough
Don't know how I've made this far
Except for those few times in the loony bin
Still have all my marbles, by gar

Well at least I think I still have my marbles
But sure wish I could feel my mouth
This Winter Wonderland is for the birds
Even they have sense to head south

Winter Wonderland, Winter Schmunderland
Who really needs all this crap
I'd certainly be a very much happier camper
If I could wear a hat without flaps

Allitabecedimericks

An amateur archer, Antoine,
Bodaciously bragged beastly brawn.
Crushed counterparts,
Dispatched deadly darts,
Electrified everyone!

Fly fisherman Freddy flung far.
Gadzooks! Great gobbling gar!
He hooked half-heartedly,
Inverted inartfully,
Jettisoned jumbled jig jar!

Kenneth keeps kitchen knives keen
Love’s labors leave lanky, lean
Mills metal mightily
Nibbles Nightly
Overweight outcomes: obscene!

Peter’s pickled picked peppers: premiere!
Quoted quantities: questionable, q*eer 
Ration’s Redeeming:
Scofield scale screaming,
Terrifies tongues, torrents tears

Ultimatums unduly unclear
Varnished vengeance veneer
Wipeouts, whiteouts
Xeroxing x-outs
Yielding yoked yeoman years

Zanax-zombified zebras zig-zag zanily, zap zooming zeitgeists

----------

Alliterative, Abecedarian Limericks!

Ran out for 'Z', so I made an alliterative monoku there. This was hard! The last stanza stretches the imagination a bit :-)

How the Sixth Sense Was Lost

LIFE IS GREAT 
FANTASTIC 
INCREDIBLE 
AND AT TIMES
UNBELIEVABLE.

FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS
I THOUGHT EVERYONE
HAD SIX SENSES

APPARENTLY NOT.
ARE YOU THE ONLY OTHER ?
I'M NOT REALLY SURE 
WHAT HAPPENED.

WAS IT MISPLACED?
MAYBE IT WAS LOST.
MAYBE IT WAS LEFT
BEHIND.
MAYBE IT BECAME 
OBSOLETE AND 
DIS-RE-GAR-DED.

I DO WONDER HOW
IS IT STILL POSSIBLE
PEOPLE STILL
MAKE IT THROUGH 
THE DAY AND LIFE
UNHARMED AND ALIVE
WITH OUT IT.

I UNDERSTAND TODAY'S
TECHNOLOGY. YET I STILL
MUST ASK. DOES ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENCE POSSESS
THE SIXTH SENSE?

TO THINK...
WHAT ONCE WAS COMMON...
IS NOW OBSCURE.
WITH THE ADVANCEMENT
OF SCIENCE IT WILL
FOR SURE DISAPPEAR.

Michael E. Harris
02102022

Do You Speak Jackanese

Well goodness gracious, by gar and by gum
Jackanese is a language quite foreign to some
It's basically simple
Here's the principle
Be a “nihilarian” while sitting on your bum

“nihilarian” - a person who deals with things lacking importance

Till Our Old Jeep Beeps

Old folks forget where they parked their Jeep
They wander around almost falling asleep
Till there's just one car
That's our car by gar
But still push the button to hear our Jeep beep!

Can You Speak Jackaness

Well goodness gracious, by gar and by gum
Jackanese is a language quite foreign to some
It's basically simple
Here's the principle
Be a “nihilarian” while sitting down on your bum

Till Their Car Beeps

Old folks forget where they parked their Jeep
They wander around almost falling asleep
Till there's just one car
That's our car by gar
But still push the button to hear the car beep!

Tavern Late Nights

outword(ed-gar)ammered
with(all-en)joymeant
(poe)trees

for-aging
for-roots

rye-penning
in-words

pain-full
force-shadows

oft-times
hell-loose

innate-shuns
care-acting

sleep-less
new-rot-tic-talks

a-bell-ing
for-tunes

knots-so
past-or

meant


stan sand




















(poe)ssessions

Beeping Jeeps

Old folks forget where they parked their Jeep
They wander around almost falling asleep
Till there's just one car
That's our car by gar
But still push the button to hear it beep!



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