Funnier Poems | Examples

Cross-Eyed Chickens

There's nothing funnier than a cross-eyed chicken
With legs the size of your arm
The Chicken Emporiums would sure love to know 
The name of this progressive farm

Aside from the unnerving cross-eyed feature
The implications are really immense
Imagine a leg on your plate so humongous
You wouldn't know where to commence

The cross-eyed feature might cause some concern
If the patrons viewed this poor old bird
Before it was rendered suitable for consumption
It sure looked hilariously absurd

The cross eyes were caused by trying to eject
A super sized extra large egg
Probably gave the poor brave chicken a hernia
Before passing it, for mercy it begged

Such is the way of us civilized humans
Thinking of our bellies all day
Paying no attention to these cross-eyed chickens
As they dance to the hen house ballet

hhmmmmm

Friend

Friend
Comforting familiarity
Lasting a lifetime
Yet even lifetimes end
Memories

Memories
Laughing uncontrollably
We should not
That makes it funnier 
Hilarity

Silly Willy

Willy is funny and kind
He tells jokes all the time
I can’t describe
His lazy eye
Making jokes funnier in mind

Drops for 'Pops'

  Onto every head

  gooey bird poo sometimes drops

    ~ funnier on ‘Pops’

Enigma

Do you know?
I don't think so, 
But I dunno.
You know?

Life's an enigma - 
And everything in it.
I'd try to understand,
But I can't pin it
Down.

Experts abound.
They're all around.
I hear their sound.
They're so profound -
Like my leaf blower

...except funnier.

I solemnly pray
There won't come the day
When I can say
I understand 
...Life...
Why solve it?
Evolve it!
Spin it!
I'm glad you're
In it!

Life -
Sometimes it's joyful.
Sometimes it's tragic.
But it's always
Magic.

Life's a mystery
As far as I can see.
To be or not to be?
Come and see me
Sometime.

I don't want to understand.
I just want to hold your hand,
Listen to the band,
And feel the 
Magic.

Some Summer Sun Youthful Days

Roof top summer time
The excellently  exceptional 
Mischief mallee throwing ice from
Hallway windows at passers-by 
Sunshine all the time sun gaze
Am I blind? Summer CRAZE!! 
Hey! Whatever daze. Cops came
Kept the sweat on! Just Youthful 
Phase HAZEY HAZIER  HAZIEST
HAZE!!  Summer hot simmering 
Sultry sustaining with what we
Were one under the sun fun funnier 
Funniest Deli meat DONE!! THOSE
DAZE! The hot heavy heat has won
This day we're done done done! 
HEY! Whatever daze!! Whatever DAZE!!

When I Put My Slipper On

He says, “When I put My Slippers on…”
What he should have said,
“When I put my My Slippers slippers on…”
My oh my, a slippery slope…
The commercial might add:
I wake up on my My Pillow pillow
side, of the sunny, sunny-side of the bed.
Funnier still: my My Transformers transformers
are attacking my My City city - 
what a nightmare!

It's Devastating How

It's devastating how...
From being the closest of friends, we are strangers now.
Well, I admit you're not the only one to blame.
I wish I hadn't turned a blind eye to your games.
I always pretended to be alright in front of you.
But I find it hard to imagine you with someone new.

It's devastating how
She's the one you adore now.
You act as if it was all my fault.
I failed to realize that this was your default.
I won't lie; she's far prettier and funnier than me.
I guess we weren't just meant to be.

It's devastating how...
I'm alone now.
I realize now that you've only come to me for favors.
It was stupid of me to ignore your behavior.
Your memories become my nightmares every night.
As usual, I just shrugged it off by uttering "alright."

It's clearly devastating how...
No one is ever going to be by my side now.
I thought you wouldn't leave me when I was surrounded by some horrible beings.
However, you recently became one too and hurt my feelings.
But I'll make an effort to let go and go on like you.
Maybe someday I'll be happy too.

Plan of Chicot Fails

Chicot was worn out from being humorous all the time.
He got more and more depressed the funnier he was.
The king had demanded his presence at a quarter to nine.
He sat and studied his jester suit with the bits of fuzz.

If I bomb this, they will cut my head off he thought…forthwith. 
He decided to add this to his act, thinking he would gross them out.
Then they’d drag him out, and his misery would be over with. 
But they loved it the best. Showed their appreciation with many a shout.

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

I know a creative soul named Jan
She births laughter - it’s surely her plan
Giggles must shadow her
Her wit creates a stir
She’s funnier than most any man






Paean On Poets Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Margarita Lillico
March 26, 2022

Lucy and Ricky

Lucille (“Lucy”) Ball
Her desire for show biz fame is anything but small
Plays the wife of Ricky the Cuban drummer
How she goes about it could not be funnier.

Desi (“Ricky”) Arnaz
A full-time job reining in his kooky wife he has
Loves Lucy with all his heart
And his conniving Lucy is extremely smart!

FIRST PLACE WINNER
written September 29, 2021
especially for "Clerihew 2" poetry contest
sponsored by Joseph May

Hilarious

What could be funnier than standing in a corner,
Staring at the wall, while your spouse watches crazy.
This wife of a husband, I was like a foreigner,
To stare at a wall, like a dunce, half-baked and lazy.

But this husband was about to get a shock.
He couldn’t imagine the turnaround of thought.
This is what happens when a husband doesn’t knock.
His mind would go haywire when a situation he caught.

You see in the bedroom, I am a gypsy.
Looping ‘round, I pace about our California king.
I may have one glass of merlot, but I’m not tipsy.
In my mouth, my husband sees electric toothbrush sing.

This husband of mine, loses his mind.
Doubled over, he paces the hall, tears in his eyes.
Tremulous, quivering, rewinds
the scene over and over - what did he spy.

“I was looking at a spider web,” I explained.
“But I didn’t expect to see you brushing after.”
Oh how he was entertained!
This man of mine couldn’t contain his laughter

9/7/2021
“H'' Contest, New or Old Poems Poetry Contest
Sponsor:Constance La France

If I Was Gone

If I was gone people would pretend they knew me
They would come to the house and annoy my husband.
He would keep the door locked and not let them in
The dog would bark her disapproval.

If I was gone they would tell jokes about me.
They would embellish the truth, so it would be funnier.
I would be sitting in the eaves, listening, 
so I could correct them if any of us got to heaven.

If I was gone they would tear my house apart.
They would burn all of my paintings.
They would dance and sing around the bonfire.
They would debate cleaning my house.

If I was gone I would not care.
I would turn my back on this world
And go tromping into the next one
Or the next life, for I do not think any of us 
Is ever truly gone.

Is Self-Love Possible

Sure I compare myself to others
I can think that someone is funnier than me
That someone is happier 
  Or taller or prettier
   Or skinnier or faster
    Or smarter or more successful 
     Or ... anything 
But there is still one thing they don’t have 
My combination 
The combination of characteristics that makes me, me
Nobody can take that away from me,
This isn’t a trade-up situation
It’s not the characteristics I have that
Make me better than another
That’s not the goal, there’s no measuring tool
What matters is the way I use my talents 
And since there is no measuring stick, 
Doesn’t that mean there isn’t 
a grading system?
And if that’s the case, I’m not failing
And if I’m not failing, I think I’d rather spend my time loving myself than searching for reasons why I shouldn’t. 
So the self-love doesn’t start when 
I get the job I want or I clean my room
Or I start a relationship,
It starts now. Regardless of anything.
Because self-love isn’t attained by anything 
Other than what already exists inside of me.

Another Woman Lovelier Than You

Another woman lovelier than you
couldn't keep me from holding you;
another woman funnier
and smarter than you couldn't
stop me from laughing with you...
telling jokes and be happier
than anyone who has known hurt.

Lovers can be also friends,
confide secrets and fears;
have you been betrayed by someone,
and not believed anything promised? 
That was me lying to a beautiful one,
she was hurt and her emotions went wild!

Another more 
perfect than you wouldn't
make me notice her 
and pursue her anyway;
my faithfulness remains intact,
how jealous she would look when I start an affair
with her closest friend not being aware of how silly
I may feel cheating on her and not feel guilty!
Another woman more
realistic than you can have more sense,
but not profound love;
how wrong is pretense?

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