Funny Free Verse Poems

Dumpers
The gal with the **** cannon
Let’s one rip a right good fart
You can smell it from here
It smells of baked beans
And mushy peas plus cabbage
I...

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**** Hat

The American was an **** hat

A real screw ball idiot

Who didn’t care what people thought

She did this and that what she wanted

A new tattoo...

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He doesn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster 
This revelation occurs six orgasms into my visit and totally kills the mood 
I say "But at...

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One time when I was in nursey school, Miss Shanahan had everyone sit in a circle and one-by-one say what we wanted to be when...

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The Drawer

In the drawer in the kitchen,
there is a bit of this, 
some of that, 
and everything else! 
Well, nearly so. 

There is tape, and...

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Two paths Diverge in the yellow woods, 
I took the one that led to Burger King....

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Never grab for the last piece of chicken with your hand 
if everyone else is using a fork…
 
...

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I got it funny
  that so seldom
Take the time to tell
  members of the family
How much
  I care about them
When they're the...

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You bite that apple!
Give it a go, put on a show
There is no shame
You said shame is a sham
And clams are happy
Do they hop or...

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They help me through my highs and lows, 
And I tell them all my secrets,
Even if we sometimes get in rows,
We always make up,
We laugh...

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Are you ok?
Funny you should ask
Do you really care?
Well let me tell you

My heart is shattered 
My voice is gone
My tears have dried
There is no...

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He's funny, he's cute,
He wears a weird suite,
He giggles and chatters and talks to me,
I think he's saying, 'Hello Phoe',
His eyes are red,
His nose; two...

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I sometimes worry that a daydream…

Can become something sinister.

Even a simple, quiet laugh…

At some thought in my head is scary to me.

Because here I am,...

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I sit in a full room, no one knows I am there, 
stuck in a corner, the place I have chosen, 
away from all focus...

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I love reading fun books
Life is in the pages
Humor~tears~mystery
Reading eyes feel heavy
Book slips down to my lap
Dreamland I am headed
Pages coming to life...

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