Humorous For Him Poems

Gifted golden pen drenched in
Emerald emancipating elegance
Regal red reverie so daring
Sending me singing thinking or dreaming
Humble humorous and socially conscious 
Onyx thoughts that hold on...

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Ladies:
Ever been treated like you’re a slice of cake?
By the kind of sleazy men that slither like a  snake?
They’re not the type to give
They’re...

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There once was a gnome named Jerome
Who made a herb garden his home.
One day as he frolicked,
He slipped and fell on some garlic
And was instantly...

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See, I love your eyeballs eyeballing me, you’ve got the look....

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***shhhhh.... 

You should be ashamed of yourself, rocking my world turning me 
into a young schoolgirl. 
-giggling and smiling with a secret on my mind,...

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Life As A Highway Robber

Escape from captivity pulled off
     when I came of age
boyhood begrudged,
     and bested...

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P     Pipes corroded

L     Lies, folds, and bends 

U     Under a sink

M  ...

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Serious things, funny things,
you don't know the good you bring.
You tell me things you'd tell no other.
The right things you say, one after another.

You made...

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I was so bent on finding my Prince charming,
that I took a class on agriculture and farming.

Had to have hands on training and milk a...

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Your poetry really is crass
But your head’s firmly stuck up your ass
You think you’re so cool
But you look a fool
If I hear you’re performing I’ll...

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My husband wants a big pussy - he's crazy,
draped over chaise-lounge in conservatory,
I said that it would cost a fortune to feed,
to have such an...

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Poor Victor began to feel ill
When he heard the dentist’s loud drill
his knees began to shake
But he had bad toothache
So he sat in the chair...

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Phil’s caveman look is very weird
He really should shave off his beard
His mother is right
He looks a strange sight
The Neanderthal look’s to be feared!


Since December...

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Steve works in a call center
to earn an honest bob
but some days he can't believe
the words that flow from some folks gob

They cus and curse
Then...

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Poor Viv got caught in his loo 
(Was sporting his pink tutu) 
His Mrs. was mad 
Said you ‘stupid lad - 
your hairy thighs still...

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