Funny Fat Poems

they always ask me to stay a little longer,
as if laughter came from my skin.
as if I could be unlonely
just by making sure no one...

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Pleasingly Plump

Obese, bloated, overwrought with contrition
Lainey hung a chart of each yoga position
Couldn’t deal with stretching
Mice she’s still fetching
She defies my lectures on nutrition
...

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the roof
had a bird on
fat one
what a burden 
moved in
now it’s boarding
writes too
what a bard
that bird...

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It was a nice day, and a fat man was crossing the road, but he slipped and fell and accidently stepped on a Toad.
He didn’t...

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Jelly Fat
by M. Griswold
08272020

"Jelly fat!" you say "Just what exactly is that?"
Well, it's a little more than that li'l old belly fat.
It's all of yur...

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There is a kitty cat sweet but quite fat,
sometimes, she lays on her tummy quite flat;
she looks like a stuffed cat toy,
that anyone could...

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Though I'm ugly and I'm old,
And I'm fat and I'm bald,
And I'm grey and I'm cold;
I've still a story to be told …

I've never been...

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You know your fat
When
  Candy is on the top of your food pyramid
  Your spouse hits the ceiling when you lie down to...

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Look at that kindhearted gentleman:
                   The most...

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Yes, nostalgia does exist,
I reminisce on slimmer hips,
As I look at us today,
All I really want to say,
Is, we got fat for football, eh!...

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There was once a girl named Kelly
Who ate nothing else but jelly
It fell from her hands
Onto her pants
All she could see was her belly!...

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A bulging belly balefully belies
the vanished vigour of youth;
happens to most of us.

- - - - - - - - - - -

19 November 2018...

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The Christmas when  Santa got Fat 

Kris Kringle rubbed his belly; he was feeling really hungry indeed
Mrs Claus had put him on a diet...

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There was a cat named pat

Who liked his hat

He laid on a sheet

But became fat....

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Have you noticed that 
My fat bottom lip 
Is about twice the normal size 

When it gets to a-yapping 
And starts in on its flapping...

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