Toad In the Hole

Though I'm ugly and I'm old, And I'm fat and I'm bald, And I'm grey and I'm cold; I've still a story to be told … I've never been a handsome prince As far as I can tell; Unless I lost my memory During a witch’s evil spell! I started my spawned life in a pond, In that valley, there beyond, I haven't always been a 'toad-in-the-hole', I was once, a cute tadpole, Hmmmn … those were the days. I'm a source of fear for superstitious folk The hapless butt of many a joke, I'm not endearing, or the least bit cute, With all the charm of a hob-nail-boot. I’m not a worshiper of the sun, My warty skin preferring it dank, So I make my home in a shaded hole, In a man-made stone hedge, or a bank. You might think that I'm between A rock and a hard place, That I've got my back to the wall, But it's me that's never worked, Paid tax or had a mortgage, And never had to go to school!