So you’re an alien
Well look at you!
What the hell took you so long to get…..
Stupid question!
Don’t answer that
I mean where on Earth did you come from,
erm…..
Another dumb question!
Forgive me
I’m just a bit nervous
It’s my first time to interview a fully legit Alien
I’m a Little green….
Man…!
what’s happening to me
I mean I’d no idea what to expect…
And you look… so well erm….
Out of this World
S#*t I’m at it again
What’s wrong with me today
Goddam!
Ok….ok let’s start again
you must have a name
all Superstars… do
Oh crap!
Gotta pull myself together!
Sorry I’m completely erm….
Star-struck
Oh f@#* this!
One last try
Hey! are those Black holes your eyes
or….
Son of a B!tch!
It must be the Gravity of the situation
Are you Binary or non… erm
No wait!
Please don’t leave
This moment is so
Special….. relatively speaking anyway
(Anchor man yells)
Cut Cut!
This is one
Supermassive f@#* up
Somebody get this
Nebulous idiot
off the airwaves!
Go to adverts….
These messages are brought to you
by Universal…. blah blah……!
of people are good ~ the minority are erm the minority
I walk in the door,
my dog is there to greet me,
wagging his tail furiously
whilst sniffing around my shopping bags
He has that suspicious, perplexed
look on his face ,
one I’ve seen so many times before
I know what he’s thinking:
how the hell do I regularly come home
with a fully cooked chicken in a bag,
Yet he cannot find so much as a stale roadkill
when I bring him for a walk?
I look back at him, incredulous too…
do you really think chickens
just immolate themselves,
then jump cooked
nice and juicy into a bag
for me to pick up along the street?
He’s still anxious and perplexed
as I dole out his share
Imperceptibly, our curiosity
and suspicion of each other evaporate,
as we polish off this beautiful creature
Soon I’m licking my fingers,
and the real miracle happens
when I say,
“Hey Siri! Put the TV on channel 8,”
and on comes the sports news
The dog too is thoroughly engrossed,
licking his — erm — himself.
# precious little words always say more ~ just never in the way we think #
kings like when their subjects don’t want change, but gods erm ~ just change the subject
By
David Kavanagh
temptation-
T hermodynamic considerations choices considered
E arnest entreaties choices to be had and made
M any entreaties bad and good
P olitical pressures humanity subjected too
T erm gratifications limits opinions and longevity
A dverse incentives
T term gratificational presents thence
I neffectual attempts
O ccasional sarcasms
N nasty sneers numerous testaments
11/22/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.
Trust In God-An Acrostic
Term fellowships grant undoubting reverence
Rational credences distrust, mistrust
Unconditional credences reverence
Superstitious credences discharge, in God we trust
Tentative guesses become align with His Kingdom
Infidelities serve belief in forgiveness
New credences guess, in God we trust
Gross infidelities swear God already forgiven
Obvious merits deserve grace observed
Derivative instruments discredited confession devotion merited
7/15/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. ©2019
Kidnapped. - for Peeking Through The Keyhole Contest
The hole where the key’s meant to go
Was vacant so I had to know
What was outside to be seen
But my captors weren’t all that keen
It seems I succumbed to a cosh
Cos someone was after some dosh
Nobody heard when I cried
Nobody knew I was tied
But I had a knife in my shoe
So I knew what I had to do
I managed to sever my ropes
That were tied by some Bond villain blokes
So what lay beyond yonder door
I silently traversed the floor
I peeked where the key had gone clunk
But all I could see was... erm... ‘junk’
And then what passed by was some fellow
I swear that that geezer was yellow
What was it I’d seen through that peep hole
When I saw Peking through the keyhole
31 December 2018
For John Lawless’ Slap The Muse Contest
Christmas is all over for yet another year,
The house is a mess with so many toys in a gigantic heap on the floor.
You've overdosed on chocolate, spirits, wine and beer,
You've ate so much veg and sprouts that you're farting more than you ever have before.
The build up has now come to a head which started in October!
Some people are prepared for months and others have a last minute panic rush.
You start to think 'erm, when was the last time I was actually sober!?'
Your food baby belly is so huge that you feel you're in labour and want to push.
After all the hype and excitement you feel a sorrowful little lull,
You start to think about the new year ahead and your future yet to come.
You're fed up of all the mess, cards, decorations and crackers yet to pull,
Well it's all finished till next year folks, all the best for 2015, let's hope it's not a pain in the bum!!!!
Look little girl
It's not what it looks like
It's really, really not
I came for a picnic with the orphanage
And the food I simply forgot
Look little girl
Don't get all upset
Don't get yourself in a state
I am sure all the others
Won't mind if they donate
Look little girl
It's the gospel truth
I take it for the needy
You've got it all completely wrong
It's not just me being greedy
Look little girl
I've tried everything else
I even called in at the shops
Please little girl, just stop screaming
You're going to alert the cops
Now come on officer
The orphans are starving
This is really not fair
That's my excuse, I am sticking to it
My name?
Erm………….Yogi Bear
Erm, excuse me, erm
I-I would, I was thinking
that, m-maybe, we...
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