Interview with an Alien

So you’re an alien 
Well look at you!
What the hell took you so long to get…..
Stupid question!
Don’t answer that 

I mean where on Earth did you come from,
erm….. 
Another dumb question!
Forgive me

I’m just a bit nervous 
It’s my first time to interview a fully legit Alien 
I’m a Little green….
Man…!
what’s happening to me

I mean I’d no idea what to expect…
And you look… so well erm….
Out of this World 
S#*t I’m at it again 
What’s wrong with me today
Goddam!

Ok….ok let’s start again 
you must have a name 
all Superstars… do
Oh crap!
Gotta pull myself together!

Sorry I’m completely erm….
Star-struck 
Oh f@#* this!

One last try 
Hey! are those Black holes your eyes
or….
Son of a B!tch!

It must be the Gravity of the situation 
Are you Binary or non… erm

No wait!

Please don’t leave 
This moment is so
Special….. relatively speaking anyway 

(Anchor man yells)

Cut Cut! 
This is one 
Supermassive f@#* up
Somebody get this 
Nebulous idiot 
off the airwaves! 
Go to adverts….

These messages are brought to you 
by Universal…. blah blah……!

allusionironyperspectivefree verse

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Terry Flood

March 27, 2024 at 5:12 PM

Brilliant, David. I eyeballed this contest and my mind drew a blank. Love what you came up with and I’m rather chuffed that, having debated who was speaking when and finally deciding that it was all the interviewer… I was actually right…. Yeehaw! Smashing. Best of luck in the contest. Terry

David Kavanagh

March 28, 2024 at 2:39 AM

Thanks Terry, you’re bang on the money, this one would never have worked if the alien had actually said a word, so I’m hoping it still qualifies as an interview, or at least an original attempt at one, glad you enjoyed, cheers David

Victor Buhagiar

March 27, 2024 at 11:48 AM

David, you're tops. Such a funny write. Had to think hard who is who but the ending was great.

David Kavanagh

March 27, 2024 at 1:56 PM

I’m afraid the Alien never got a word in sideways Victor, the interviewer is the one doing all the talking, and making all faux pas as well, glad you enjoyed, cheers David

Daniel Henry Rodgers

March 24, 2024 at 6:11 PM

Dear David, your poem is a hilarious rollercoaster of wit and self-deprecation. Your portrayal of the interviewer's escalating nervousness and awkwardness is both relatable and entertaining. The way you play with language and absurdity creates a delightful atmosphere that keeps the reader engaged from start to finish. David, it’s a brilliant commentary on human folly and our tendency to stumble over our words in moments of excitement. Thanks for the laugh! - Blessings, Daniel

David Kavanagh

March 25, 2024 at 9:33 AM

Good to see you Daniel, I was actually pondering whilst writing this one, who amongst us would be qualified to interview an alien, my guess a child would probably ask all the right questions, or at least the most relevant ones, yeah just having a bit of fun here trying to get round the awkwardness of such a situation, thanks you so much for stopping by, cheers David

I Am Anaya

March 24, 2024 at 12:59 PM

Ahaha ha! Hysterical and educational for me, anyhoo. The 4th stooge? I did an interview with the Three Stooges. Fun times! Well thought out. Great entry

I Am Anaya

March 24, 2024 at 4:38 PM

"A Conversation With The Three Stooges" 2/9/2022 I'm really proud of it! Do you remember Margarita's "Conversation with Sherlock Holmes" she won the big prize! check them both.

David Kavanagh

March 24, 2024 at 1:29 PM

Heya Anaya, I mean what in hell are we supposed to ask an alien if we do meet one someday, don’t answer that question lol! I look forward to reading your 3 stooges one, are you still working on it? Cheers David