Witch sat and stewed after seeing her reflection at large
she was so scared at the dress shop, she forgot to say charge
she left empty handed, and is now sitting on her broom
clouded in a wakening of reflection that has brought her gloom
She still thought she was young, agile and pretty.
She looked in the mirror when she thought she was witty.
The old hag that looked back made her feel depressed and blue.
She thought she was twenty-seven, but she is actually seventy-two.
Don’t feel badly at all, her pumpkin team said.
In a few weeks, we will all be moldy and dead.
This did not brighten her outlook one little bit.
She actually gave a little kick to the non-caring chit.
old couple
The evening is dark, and the street light tells
the leaves have fallen, except for two stalwarts holding on
but they will not be there at first light.
On our walk, we stop at a dress shop she admires
a colourful dress as an African, she likes lively attire
asks me if she still fits this dress; mull over this a bit and say
it will fit you snuggly.
She laughs fondly and tells me; I know nought about women’s clothes.
We have grown old together and dislike being apart
it worries me when she goes into the kitchen to make our evening meal
We are both aware of the sand, in time glass is nearly empty
for now, we are lovers in the strand of Nirvana’s echo.
I'm just off into Marks and Sparks
My own dear lady had said
In sheer panic I went and nodded
Instead of shaking my head.
She picked up a blouse
Asked did I think it looked nice
And there I was on the spot
Just in a little trice.
I never quite know
What to say for the best
Does she really want to know
Or is it just a test,
Is my opinion really needed
Or is it just her intention
Just to make sure
I'm fully paying attention.
Confused and struck dumb
And not sure of her intents
I made my excuse and headed
For the safety of the Gents.
I'm just a simple bloke who doesn't
Understand fashion coloir and shades
And a wrong or hasty word could have
Sent me to my own personal Hades.
It's a terrible ordeal
Which keeps a bloke on the hop
When he mistakenly accompanies
His other half to a ladies dress shop.
I can cook and I can clean
Do my share I must confess
But for love of God don't ask me
Help you choose a dress
The young say that granddads have ruined their lives
They’re getting themselves in a strop
But can they explain why, when they want jack boots
They go to a fancy dress shop
The bats in the belfry were taking a selfie
Their costumes were super, for daddy was wealthy
But children sized bats made the pastor unhealthy
And yet his departure was still rather stealthy
The fancy dress shop man has now got a shelf free
He had three bat costumes but doubted he’d sell three
’til someone walked in and said, Sir can you tell me
If these are kid’s sizes? He said they might well be
The man said please wrap them and when they’re done, bell me
And have you got any fake blood you can sell me
The loan of a very long ladder would help me
And that’s why there’s three quite large bats in the belfry
17 October 2021
For Contest: Halloween monorhyme
Sponsor: Caren Krutsinger
The Last Viking
There had been a war in my part of the world, peace there is never one,
people fight wars in other parts of the world more brutal than ever before.
The first winter of peace was the coldest anyone old could remember and
ducks feet froze on the ice they could not move and became prey to rats
and human scum who threw stones at the ducks satisfying a biblical instinct.
A tree in the park had fallen and a skeleton was discovered it was to be
excavated the next day, but it disappeared I think it had reassembled itself
broken into a dress shop and covered his bones with the skin of dead people.
A long very thin man had been observed outside a lady`s lingerie shop late
one evening, masturbating, what else to do after being dead under a tree for
five hundred years.
At a museum in the Isle of Man, I saw the thumb of a Viking in a glass cage
within a glass cage surrounded by precious objects ladies wore at the time
It was pathetic there he was fighting and living not knowing his thumb would
live forever in a tiny glass cage
I need a kiss or at least a hug
someone to hold me tight
and say its all going to be alright.
or even a quick
I love you honey.
the kids are sick again
the dogs got fleas
my husband is moaning
his dinner is cold.
I mess up the tv remote
he laughs condescendingly
and fixex it in a heartbeat
I want to dump the lot of them
and run away to live in the islands
The next day I get splashed
by a rude driver
mud all over my new coat.
is this all there is?
But just as I reach
the point of despair.
I pass a dress shop window
full of size zero manequins
with skinny superior looks.
All dressed in designer dresses.
And I see my reflection.
My hair wild and free
flowing in the breeze.
My glasses wet with rain.
I have no makeup on just lipstick.
I see the reflection of a real woman.
But I look fantastic
the great woman
my mom brought up.
the woman I want to be.
She is wonderful
awesome.
I smile and wave at her.
and shout silently.
I remember you honey.
August Forenoon
There is a sale on in the dress shop bathing trunks reduced up
to 40%. It has been a good summer and few local people have
died but the price of coffins stay the same....
So beautiful a forenoon, I drove on my moped to visit a carob tree
I used to sit under when lonely
Its thick branched protected me from the world. Under it now
two elderly women -on their knees- picking sweet, black beans.
The small farmers around here have aged with me, the women
looked up and smiled at this elderly, permanent tourist on his
round; he is like a hasty brush stroke on the canvas of eternity.
On green vines hung juicy grapes tasted one it was like an explosion
of natural sweetness that filled my mouth with yesterdays pleasure,
they are ready to be harvested and made into wine, not for the rich
but for the local people to drink with their stew.
THE SINGER, NOT THE SONG
I don’t like shopping alone;
But with her, it’s a different experience.
Supermarket ? No problem -
Discussions of prices,
Squeezing the pears,
Philosophy of canned beans’ additives,
Jokes about cucumbers.
Even a dress shop?
Yes - to me it’s just dresses, dresses, dresses,
But I love to watch her try
Even if we don’t always buy.
She loves to dance with me:
God knows why - for I’m no dancer.
She’d have better rhythm with
Blitzen or Prancer.
Was your mum’s cooking really that good ?
Possibly not, but it was your mum’s.
Was your dad’s big pocket on a snowy day really that warm ?
No warmer than others I guess, but it was his.
Ever heard Frank Sinatra singing ‘Little Miss Muffet’ ?
Or Elvis singing ‘You’d better watch out, Santa Claus is coming’ ?
It’s the singer…..not the song.
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