Ordeal By Shop
I'm just off into Marks and Sparks
My own dear lady had said
In sheer panic I went and nodded
Instead of shaking my head.
She picked up a blouse
Asked did I think it looked nice
And there I was on the spot
Just in a little trice.
I never quite know
What to say for the best
Does she really want to know
Or is it just a test,
Is my opinion really needed
Or is it just her intention
Just to make sure
I'm fully paying attention.
Confused and struck dumb
And not sure of her intents
I made my excuse and headed
For the safety of the Gents.
I'm just a simple bloke who doesn't
Understand fashion coloir and shades
And a wrong or hasty word could have
Sent me to my own personal Hades.
It's a terrible ordeal
Which keeps a bloke on the hop
When he mistakenly accompanies
His other half to a ladies dress shop.
I can cook and I can clean
Do my share I must confess
But for love of God don't ask me
Help you choose a dress
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