I flick the eyeball.
Dad scolds, “Don’t play with your food.”
Donner Party brunch.
We ate the ones who died
But we did not murder them
We had to survive, right?
I stared at the surviving member of the Donner party
Did she not know
Two native American guides with them had been murdered
For food?
Not wanting to cause her any more anguish,
I did not correct her.
"In times past, said Santa, I'll admit, I have failed to live up to my name.
Like you, I shunned poor Rudolph, seeing his nose was not the same.
We bullied, making him sad, refusing to admit him to the game.
That lesson was learned when he saved us,(much to our shame.)
Another chance is presented. You see, Rudolph has come up lame.
So, let us rise to this challenge!", we heard Santa Claus exclaim.
"For too long, we've been unequal, for greater character we must aim.
It's time to give the honored position, in the front, to a dame!"
Donner scoffed, “we’ll get lost now and Rudolph is the one to blame!.
When Clarice flew by them, all the reindeer cheered her name,
And decided unanimously they would be proud if she came...
For she was fast as lightning, and they weaved her traces through the hame.
We are going to do a flash mob dance Comet told the crew.
I have a choreographer trained reindeer to help, her name is Bonnie Sue.
Vixen and Blitzen were miffed, because it was not their idea at all.
Dasher and Rudolph did not hear, they were watching snow fall.
Bonnie Sue came in and kept all the reindeers on their hooves for sure.
She had a sassy way about her, she was full of holly and manure.
Olive was irritated, because she was not asked to choreograph the dance.
Don’t be persnickety said Donner who thought with B.S. he had a chance.
Their dance steps were merry, they left prints all over the fresh snow.
Santa tried to find them but with all these prints he did not know…
Where his reindeer were or what mischief they were about.
Olive past him on her way out, her nose was in a snooty pout.
Dancer and Prancer said “we hear Santa” and all the dancing stopped.
Pretend we're rioting for better rations, said new elf named McFlopped.
“that won’t work, let me handle this, my friends,” with reindeer cheer.
Cupid lied to Santa’s face, so coal will be in his stocking again this year.
Your smile is three times,
The circle of the earth,
It’s sweeter than a California orange
Offered at noon twelve, outside the table,
Your smile refreshes me
As the source of sin,
He makes up a reason,
To live like a lizard
Caught by the sun,
To give answers
To all your questions,
Your eyes also circle the earth three times.
Ton sourire fait trois fois,
Le tour de la terre,
Il est plus doux qu’une orange de Californie
Offerte à midi douze, en dehors de la table,
Ton sourire me rafraichit
Comme la source d’un péché,
Il m’invente une raison,
Pour vivre comme un lézard
Attrapé par le soleil,
Pour donner des réponses
À toutes tes questions,
Ton regard aussi fait trois fois le tour de la terre.
Our reindeer were all in a tizzy for they had been served.
Anyway, Rudolph had, with vigor as he flew in and swerved.
The process server said “my apologies” but he snickered a bit.
Apparently some old grouch on earth is now having a fit.
Claiming that Rudolph’s powerful nose blinded him for five weeks.
The claimant is totally unreasonable, it is big money he seeks.
How did he write the letter? Find the lawyer’s office? Asked Santa.
Rudolph was trying not to think of it, concentrating on his banana.
Yeah, said Blitzen. How dumb does this guy think we is?
Donner did not care, he ran off to yellow up snow with his whizz.
Dasher tried to give Rudolph some advice, but he always says things wrong.
I know said Dancer, let’s pretend it did not happen and have a tiny song.
So the reindeer created a Christmas song right there, on the spot.
And it was a hit around the world, so the greedy guy did get a lot.
But Rudolph decided to forever more wear a tight cover on his nose
For going to court truly is not comfortable, it “sort of blows”.
Our favorite reindeer, Donner was way too old to fly
He had arthritis in his ankles, his knees and his thigh
The rest of us reindeer built him a contraption to fly.
Now we take him along, and some ask us why.
He cheers us up and inspires us with barely a try.
He spurs us to do our best, and won’t let us cry.
We cannot give up, for he is our cheerleader guy.
Donner makes the trip pleasant, said new reindeer, Cy.
To The North Pole Of Course (Part Two)
The farmlands, bridges and countrysides woosh by in a rush
then vanish before my eyes at a hundred and twenty six miles per hour.
My mind is traveling at the speed of Donner and Blitzen. It goes through a magical hourglass only to nestle inside a cinnamon scented wagon that is infused with the clanking of fine china cups. A peppery scent of hot chocolate perfumes the air and lands on my palate, sweetly.
While I am being ushered forth into Christmas, I sift through time, backpedaling swifter than Santa's mistletoe kiss.
I hear his rippling laughter and melt like butter.
My extra sensory perception picks up the echoes through the halls of my memory
and I say to myself, " I think I'm going home, to the North Pole of course."
Larry was rowing his novel as fast as he could
Trying to escape the emojis from Donner and Good
The evil faces were trying to climb onboard his boat
The islands in the distance remained fairly remote.
How much more can I take? Larry asked the wind.
The wind could see what kind of trouble he was in.
Just keep rowing, but do it double time, she said.
One horse emoji jumped onboard and stood on his head.
If you are going to be crazy, you will have to go said Larry.
But I don’t want to said the horse, whose name was Harry.
Then be good as sliced bread and do what I say, okay?
They had a safe trip downstream that very same day.
the clock was taken out of the box and put in a place of honor.
In memory of her cousin the honorable Judge Mc Donner.
He had always loved these trinkets, they had belonged to his mother.
Now that he was gone, they belonged to his youngest brother.
The brother, an artist, had seen almost immediately
How he could honor his mother, and his brother Lee.
He had all the trinkets put into a sunny new clock.
Colorful and fun, this clock truly did rock!
Top of the world, Ma —
See those little fingers down there?
Those tiny rivers runnin’ thru the valley —
You fall, you won’t be repaired
Gimme pickaxe, gimme rope-ladder
Gimme both McKinley and Everest
I think best at highest altitudes
I’m hottest at my grooviest
Sheer fall —
You’re goin down
You’re goin down all the way
(2x)
You know the Donner Party was up in these parts
And they ate each other up
Much like those handsome boys from Brazil
Who were tryin’ to win the World Cup
When you finally scale that mountain,
Of course there ain’t nobody to witness
And then your ego sends the avalanche down
And you’re a sacrifice to physical fitness
Sheer fall —
You’re goin down
You’re goin down all the way
(2x)
I'm sending my love,
And here's a hug too
Wishing nothing but
The absolute best for you.
With love and esteem,
We shall find our way
Hoping, and waiting for Ole' St Nick
Come and let's go play!
There's rumbling up on the rooftop,
And, the clatter was loud
Can someone, please, go up there
And have a look around.
We, nestled in our beds,
Dreaming of our dreams
Sleep, my precious angels
Under the moonlight's beam.
Ole' St Nick was cloaked, waiting patiently,
Then with this twinkle of his nose, he gave
You can see Ole' St Nick out there
Dashing across the nites sky; he raves!
He'll be ringing, and singing,
With glee in his voice, he shouts
A Merry Christmas to All
On, Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen.
And to All,
Ho, Ho-Ho!
On, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.
To the North Pole, Rudolph!
A Good Nite!
To: John Darnell & Deb Kellison
Dasher
cyber
cruiser
Dancer
fancy
footwork
Prancer
haughty
naughty
Vixen
magic
trickster
Comet
pleasure
streaker
Cupid
cheerful
cherub
Donner
raucous
rock star
Blitzen
bolt of
lightning
Rudolph
bulbous
red nose
Olive
other
excess
Grandpa reindeer were excited to watch the annual Christmas dance.
You should see my grandson twirl and kick and spin and prance!
This was from Prancer who knew this might be his last chance
To see the annual competitive reindeer Christmas dance.
Dasher and Donner shared a grandson, named Dabbity Booze.
He could clog the tails off the other reindeer’s blue suede shoes.
They were in the front row, sharing a laugh about today’s event.
Vixen thought his granddaughter’s dance was heaven sent.
Dancer still fancied himself the best reindeer dancer of all.
He came sliding in, gave a bump and a grind and started to fall.
Comet laughed his petootsie off, which was not very nice.
Cupid offered the rest of the reindeer a warm pizza slice.
Blitzen was the only reindeer not showing up this year.
He has contracted Alzheimer’s now, the poor old aged dear.
The competition was a success, the grandchildren did fine.
At the end they included their grandfathers in a fun congo line.
Mrs. Claus kept warning Santa that this day might come.
But he pooh poohed it, and thought surely not, surely not.
Today he balked as he stared at the chimney, tight and glum.
Wishing he had spent last year eating more “what he ought”.
He had downed pumpkin pies, sausages, and hamburgers too.
He had tossed out salads with cheeses of yellow and blue.
He had devoured donuts, pasta, and spaghetti with delight.
So now here he sat staring, at a chimney that already felt tight.
Get on down there! Rudolph said with a snort and a wink.
You are magical you know, did you forget that, you twink?
Santa rolled his eyes; he got no respect from reindeer these days.
With a yippee coyote he went down the chimney in all kind of ways.
He scraped his knees and he bent his left foot a bit on the land.
What did you expect? Donner hollered down after him. A mariachi band?
Santa hear the reindeer having a good laugh at his body’s expense.
That’s okay, he thought. When I get back, I will install an electric fence.
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