Funny Diet Poems | Examples
These Funny Diet poems are examples of Diet poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Diet Funny poems written by international poets.
The eating of pie before dinner,
It isn’t on point to get thinner.
It’s best to let go
That tin pan of woe,
And be a calorical winner.
once an old dude from texas
ate twelve tacos for breakfast
he ate some with cheese
he ate some with peas
then he got sick from excess.
Sugar, you temptress, you hide everywhere
In many a form you never play fair
You sneak in my life like a thief in the night
Stealing my breath with every sweet bite
Making me long for your taste everyday
From the moment I wake, I’m your gullible prey
A ‘dangerous substance’ is what you should be
With red and bold letters, for innocents to see
There is not a food where your charms are not found
Queen of addictions, you should have been crowned
More forms than a demon, you use to deceive
You change your appearance, to make me believe
Liquids and solids, and all in between
Your arrogant invasion, at the least, very keen
In every known texture, you’ve come to exist
Creamy or hard, too many to list
At breakfast, lunch, dinner, you always control
Little by little, you’re taking a toll
No matter the food, you always are there
You’ve caught me at times in your devilish snare
I’ve seen you appear on some labels, three times
In a court you’d be guilty of three separate crimes
Sugar, you temptress, I’m watching for you
And the very next time when you make your debut
There was a vampire, oh so skinny
drinking blood was not his destiny
vegan was his diet
tried to keep it quiet
we thought him quite a silly ninny.
Doctor said I must lose weight
Sugar banned a thought I hate
No butter or cheese except low fat
My body will morph fancy that.
Off to gym in new sports gear
Going to sweat daily for a year
You think this is fun? your quite wrong
'Till I Collapse' my favourite song.
Each night exhausted I take a jog
Dear heaven above it's such a slog
Bedtime drink warm skimmed milk
No easy task to look like sylph.
Months rolled by still hitting gym
New way of life am now so thin
Resisting temptation I'm in to win
Aerobic trainer whose name is Slim.
Nonsense Rhyme
Poetry Contest
Sponsored
by
Charles Messina
11/09/2021
Dhramn Diet Pill
I took a pink diet pill.
The blue ones had stopped working.
And I stopped drinking all that stupid water.
I do not have time to go to the bathroom hourly.
Thought about it and realized I probably needed two diet pills.
Shook out another pink, and downed it happily.
Turned to see crackers and peanut butter.
A little taste would not hurt. Made them into sandwiches.
My husband had brought home my favorite coconut cake.
I stomped out of the kitchen, irritated.
Slunk back five minutes later and cut the cake into sixty-four pieces.
They were so small, I ate thirty-two of them.
Dhramn diet pill did not work.
I took a pink diet pill.
The blue ones had stopped working.
And I stopped drinking all that stupid water.
I do not have time to go to the bathroom hourly.
Thought about it and realized I probably needed two diet pills.
Shook out another pink, and downed it happily.
Turned to see crackers and peanut butter.
A little taste would not hurt. Made them into sandwiches.
My husband had brought home my favorite coconut cake.
I stomped out of the kitchen, irritated.
Slunk back five minutes later and cut the cake into sixty-four pieces.
They were so small, I ate thirty-two of them.
Dhram diet pill did not work.
dollar for each pound you weigh,
many angered up at this
largest woman there, most kind
she was worth her weight
The needful prescription is scary,
Though we promise ourselves that we’ll try it,
So let us eat, drink, and be merry,
For tomorrow we diet.
Diet Sarsaparilly
I think it tastes just fine
Diet Sarsaparilly
I drink it all the time
It is a bit unusual I would agree
I have it everyday for lunch you see
As a tasty aperitif it’s number one
But I will concede my opinion may be the only one.
© Paul Warren Poetry
I am on a diet you know
This was my resolution
I stopped eating sweets
And threw away my chips
I’m eating more veggies
I substituted water for sodas
No more fast foods or pastry
I take walks that last hours
I weight myself today
I gained two pounds
I was so depressed
But soda and chips
made me feel better.
The Chinese diet, always on top picks,
Two grams of rice, which boiled in bucket water,
It should be eaten only by chopsticks.
But be a modest, eat this no more, than quarter!
DIET OF POETRY
A Limerick man who ate jam with his ham
And his oats soaked in Irish goat’s milk,
Who had cream with his bream
And drank ale with his quail,
Went vegan, with beans and greens of that ilk.
I sit, wishing to lose a pound
My diet is failing, I frown
I eat all day
Putting it away
I’m having trouble getting around
Russell Sivey
My two Brothers-In-Law came to my house every day and ate all of my food.
And they kicked my butt when I told them that eating my vittles was rude.
Even though they'd beat me up, I chewed them out and I kept getting louder and louder.
They were eating me out of house and home, those morons even ate my baking powder.
But I got an idea and decided to try it.
I decided to go on an all sushi diet.
The first time that I bought some sushi, I got a visit from my Brothers-In-Law.
They stopped coming over because all I had to eat was fish that was raw.
They were bigger and tougher than me but the sight of raw fish made them sick.
I haven't seen them in over six months, my plan worked, the sushi did the trick.
My wife had to clean up her brothers mess when they tossed their cookies on the floor.
My wife hates having to eat sushi but at least I don't have to see her brothers anymore.
(This is a fictional poem.)