Diddly Squat Poems | Examples

Seed of Fear: The Cat's Fiddle

The cat didn't give a diddly squat,
she played her fiddle non-stop,
accompanied by her kitten's song
they yowled from dusk till dawn
and the townsfolk never slept!

The fat old cow could not jump
even if she tried (which, of course, she didn't),
she gave no milk, nor cream for butter
so down the road she was sent
to Old Moon's Butchery and Deli.

The little dog is not the laughing sort~
with no sleep and no warm milk
it's no wonder his mood is foul,
he bit the hand that tried to feed him
dried up bits of moldy bread.

The spoon then decided it was all to much,
what with the noise and loss of proper table-setting~
with rules of etiquette in a shambles,
she took her matching dish 
and ran away to Once Upon A Time.

 The moral of the story is never give a cat a fiddle!

My Cuckoo Son Scott

May I get serious for a moment
Sorry “serious” is not in my vocabulary
I try, and try but to no avail
Perhaps it's somewhat hereditary

Got it from my cuckoo son Scott
He sure didn't warn me he was contagious
Some of his humour is really far out
Might even call it outrageous

Did he get from me, did I get it from him
A quandry but it really matters not
The end result is we're a couple of yahoos
All else means diddly squat

Though I have been known to change my hat
On occasion, a few times in the past
Mostly though, when it comes to the crunch
Being a silly old jester is a blast!

Sea Rose

Saw it floating translucent on sea swells ~
extraneous sight in a sedulous life
and yet, implicit hints forever dwelled…

Rising inadvertently, the wavy strife ~

Of what current is this tale’s exposition?
Such draconian love flowed from mother ~
Every facet a fraught inquisition!

Swift, her passions swept further a father…	

Entered:- swifter waters would swoop away
at speeds where nutrients were inadequate
Racing till pink efflorescence was gray...

O’er oceans frothing of worth diddly-squat

So she goes          drifting in the liquid sweep 
Evanescing doppelganger of love’s weep/reap ~

(9/12/21 - '91 Carver 638 DMS)

Diddly Squat

Diddly Squat ain’t ‘not a lot’ for it’s nothing at all
Not a few, nor one or two, and it won’t fill a hall
For diddly squat ain't half a pot
It’s like the muse I’ve got
For diddly squat is ‘out of stock’, nada and sod all



16 July 2021
Sponsor: Line Gauthier
For contest: Bitesize poem number 13

I Got My Shot

I got my shot and now I’m not
Afraid of waiting for a slot
Like all of those who lost their spot
Since many sites have diddly-squat.

The current scene for the vaccine
Needs government to intervene
For hordes of people who convene
Join lines both long and serpentine.

It isn’t great that every state
Has rules that simply don’t equate
So many wait until the date
Their gov’s have shots to allocate.

It seems a crime that those who climb
To the tops of lists which make them prime
For vaccinations might, big-time,
Decline, their reasons lacking rhyme.

Silent

I wonder if the athletes
Miss the roaring of the crowds,
Or if they like the stadium
As silent as the clouds.

Today I’m watching tennis
And, despite the greatest shot,
Instead of gasps and cheering
All they hear is diddly-squat.

Though they must be glad they’re playing
(And I’m thrilled it’s on T.V.)
There is surely something missing
That is obvious to me.

For without the fans’ reactions
To surprises in the game
It’s still worth the time for watching
But it’s simply not the same.

Picking My Own Kind of Slapstick

Every treaty they make 
makes to cheat me
to
dislocate me 
from my
territory

and on the plains
it is so plain to see
that a treaty's not
worth
diddly squat.

No Comment

I read your glowing comment
My work was ‘the best poem you’d ever read’!
I had a huge grin upon my face and a swelling in my head

I proudly told my hubby and then he said to me
“Jan, I’ve read that comment on loads of poem -
it means diddly-squat … can’t you see”

I’d rather have one genuine comment
Than one that is for the masses
So if this poem gets any unique praise
I will get myself some new reading glasses


09-24-17

Diddly Squat

People often ask me
What it is I've got
That makes me so happy
When clearly others aren't

Then they tend to wonder
If I'm putting on a front
But when you want for nothing 
There's nothing that you want

Where everything I own and need
Could fit in a paper bag
Again there's nothing that I want
That I do not have

Which keeps it rather simple
Where no battles need be fought
When all I want or even own
Is nothing but Diddly Squat

There's a certain amount of freedom
That can't be denied
When everything you own in life
You carry by your side

And if by chance you lose it
It's not a case of do or die
Because the little stuff's not worth sweating
In the larger scope of life

With nothing here to cling to
But me, myself, and I
And a few essentials
I keep by my side

All I bring to the party
Is me, I'm the entire lot
Easy said and easy done
With nothing but Diddly Squat

A Diddly Poem

When Diddly Diddly Do
Met Diddly Diddly Don't
They both knew the Diddly truth
They Diddly Diddly won't

After they went out on Diddly town
Making a few Diddly rounds
You should have heard the Diddly sounds
As the Diddly Diddly all went down

Diddly Diddly Do
And Diddly Diddly Don't
Wonder what's the Diddly point
Whether they will or whether they won't
Diddly do or Diddly don't
Diddly stay or Diddly jump

Will they come out to play
On any given Diddly day
Who's to know and who's to say
If the Diddly Diddly gets in the way

I am thinking Diddly not
Diddly borrowed or Diddly bought
Diddly given or Diddly caught
They don't give a Diddly Squat

Snoopy and Snowman

Snoopy and Snowman

Snoopy challenged his huge friend, Snowman
Who has no legs, feet and two icicle hands
He gave him snowball and said, “Throw it!
If you can’t, I’ll call you a Triple Naught in 6 Feet!”
 
Snowman didn’t want Snoopy’s jeering stuffs
He accepted his challenge with his growling puffs
If I can, I’ll call you in turn a Double Diddly-squat
And a twisted nut-puppy who’s afraid of all cats

The two friends kept on bantering each other
Snowman got twigs from a tree without his ladder
Jabbed them on his sides like a pair of antlers
Sticking out like he’d swallowed two stags together

Before throwing, he bragged his brown hand-icicles
He didn’t know, snowball is a wheel of Santa’s bicycle
When he was about to hurl the snowball as far as he could
Santa shouted, “Do it! Both of you will have gifts:cat foods!” 
 
Dec. 31,2017  12.15 pm
©2016Leonora Galinta
All Rights Reserved






Third Place
Contest: Silly Christmas Cartoon
Judged: 1/17/2017
Sponsor: Poet Laura Loo

Five Hundred Channels

Five hundred channels and nothing to watch
Remember back when, we'd watch diddly squat
Didn't really matter
If the language was a clatter
We'd watch foreign movies not knowing the plot

Five Hundred Channels

Five hundred channels and nothing to watch
Remember back when, we'd watch diddly squat
Didn't really matter
If the language was a clatter
We'd watch foreign movies not knowing the plot


© Jack Ellison 2015

My Cuckoo Son Scott

May I get serious for a moment
Sorry “serious” is not in my vocabulary
I try, and try but to no avail
Perhaps it's somewhat hereditary

Got it from my cuckoo son Scott
He sure didn't warn me he was contagious
Some of his humour is really far out
Might even call it outrageous

Did he get it from me, did I get it from him
A quandry but it really matters not
The end result is we're a couple of yahoos
All else means diddly squat

Though I have been known to change my hat
On occasion, a few times in the past
Mostly though, when it comes to the crunch
Being a silly old jester is a blast!


© Jack Ellison 2015

The Best Gift Yet

 interlocking rhyme 

Some fellows like to give a lot; our presents, very rare.
Exchanging gifts is such a chore when timing is not fair.
Their endowments are so much more than we are wont to give
My spouse says not a word of this, content with how they live.
I do not want to seem remiss, but how do we start quitting?
Before I start, I will come clean, it is my pride they’re hitting.
It is my honest wish to wean our closeness of its milking
We do not need their lavish aid and hate to be thought bilking.
Their need to give is overplayed, I am a basket case.
Is that a van parked in their drive? A moving van, what grace!
One last offering, on-the-spot, repaid with diddly squat.

• Short Diddly Squat Poems
• Famous Diddly Squat Poems
• Best Diddly Squat Poems
• Read Diddly Squat Poems
• Long Diddly Squat Poems
• Diddly Squat Quotes