I’ve been a man and I’ve been a woman,
and nothing in between;
I’ve liked men, loved women
and hated everyone around me;
I’ve been a model student and a failure;
A daughter and a painful,
painful reminder of youth slipping away.
I’ve been big, defensive and dangerous,
I’ve been small, submissive and scared;
I held you in my hands and I watched as you fell.
I was thin when you met me, even though I didn’t realise;
I always saw myself as a storm cloud, rumbling and dark,
ready to shoot arrows, not aiming to hurt anyone,
and engulfing the trees with my wrath.
I’ve been yours, and theirs, and his and hers;
I’ve been the rock at the shore waiting for the waves to break;
I’ve been everywhere, and nowhere, and where?
Where can I find a place where I can finally be myself?
Beware the Cheshire cat
whose advice is here or there
and says there are just two paths -
again I say beware.
Carroll had it right
as he wrote behind that grin:
Alice could also stay put
or go back to her begin.
She ate the cake to grow big
and drank potion to be small,
yet there was always the third way -
not to eat or drink at all.
Beyond the looking glass
and down the rabbit hole,
a heartless queen asks questions -
any answer and heads roll.
Watch out for false dichotomy
and the choice that does not matter
or you’ll be writing on a raven's desk
to answer the Mad Hatter.
(07/2023) See Chapter 6 of ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ by Lewis Carroll.
The pendulum screams as it slices the air,
A blurred arc of frantic, kinetic despair.
From the pole of delight to the pole of regret,
We pay down the interest on spiritual debt.
Hot bleeds to cold, and the day bleeds to night,
A binary flicker of shadow and light.
But watch for the apex, the top of the swing,
Where gravity pauses and loses its sting.
The zero-point field where the current goes dead,
Before the next thought can infect the head.
Here is the silence that deafens the ghost,
The guest uninvited who becomes the host.
The ego is hungry, a mechanism of steel,
Grinding the grist in the turn of the wheel.
It hunts for a future, it mourns for a past,
But the gap is the anchor that holds the soul fast.
In the breach of the circuit, the spark is set free,
Not what you are, but what you will be.
We hang in the balance, unmade and unbound,
Safe from the trap, where we cannot be found.
Sitting down, face set like a flint, I was afraid to make God frown, a beam of light pierced my crown...
Flipped my world upside down...
Claimed to be satan but it wasn't a demon of any renown.
Lunged toward me with a sword, sharp edged, gleams like gold, "I just want to break your mold", she said, she etched, those words in my memory,
I called it bold.
I had no choice, I drew my blade, I pray that God will be my aid. Clash! And I saw a flash, it was not a nightmare. Bash! My lungs were not robbed of air. Truth rang with every slash, "is it you I have to thrash?"
I was cornered then alas. I closed my lids, I gave her the pass. Kill me now, let my soul transpass.
Her silence echoes like thunder, as she buried her sword in my chest. End me, now put me to rest.
But the heavens did not claim my heart that night, clattering of chains that once bound me, held me, ever so tight, is what they got, from me that night.
My delight...
I’m a little dizzy from brains of unreality.
There’s no such thing as dichotomy.
It’s just chopped up worms or…
I’m not a dichotomy.
My brain is everlasting as a bumble bee.
Bounces around like jewelry buzzes.
There’s something like wistfulness.
I have two eyes but they usually follow the same disaster.
And when I don’t, the money flows past.
I went broke that way.
Thinking a lot.
I always have just enough to not eat.
Bumble bee, everlasting fuzz.
My brain evolves like a patch of dirt.
Nothing good sprinkled near me.
I’m not a dichotomy!
I just went broke-
All of me.
Texas is a southern state whose flag's a lonesome star.
It takes forever and a day to cross the place by car.
The great big sky and desert stretch o'er South East West and North,
And oil wells, cattle, horses, hills, in Texas they spew forth.
"Everything’s big in Texas" boast the Texans, every day,
But when I'm there my pecker's still small, much to my wife's dismay.
When time splits in two...
One you're looking for and one looking for you
You're waiting for someone you don't know yet
And you're not getting any younger
You've captured the rhyme but lost the poetry
The road seems bleak but familiar
A refugee from the you you used to be
And a pilgrim on the road to destiny
To fortify you resupply with fortitude and grace
But what persists you can't deny with force of will or face
The path may be familiar, but the route could not be more complex
When time splits in two... the division is in you
Nonetheless the test is not the journey, it's the end
And a smile is your only friend
Written: May 26, 2025, For contest By Brian Strand
***********************
s
t
e o s e m
n p e r
v i v
u m
ev en my
ip ho ne~ h
a
d s~t~o~p~p~e~d
l e n s o
b
s
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u
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e all ~ t h o u g h t s
May we be blessed to understand the dichotomies of time….
(For dichotomies is something time shall never lack!)
It’s free…yet it’s priceless
and once you’ve lost it…you can never get it back.
The tumults of organized lives
Often brings happiness but sadly, much strife
As we crawl hastily to our eminent demise
We realize without birth there is no life
Without life, there is no death
Without you, there is no us
Life appears to be
A random state of organized chaos
May we be blessed to understand
the beautiful dichotomy of our growth……
How some days we are the teachers…
some days we’re the students…
and some days..we are both.
Dichotomy
humans are strange creatures
we want peace but can’t
avoid war
A rainbow or counterflow … symmetry,
Time marks a question measured to wrangle,
Quantity taxes or pay quality.
First, the chick or egg, begs the novelty,
Harmony and anarchy vie tango,
A rainbow or counterflow … symmetry.
Highs and lows, trials on trails that Odyssey,
Couples meet ... kneels, and fingers … betrothal,
Quantity taxes or pay quality.
Germane proportionate necessity,
Bidders will empowerment substantial,
A rainbow or counterflow … symmetry.
Blind contends, an object than rivalry,
A contest midst, wins or lose, a gamble,
Quantity taxes or pay quality.
Observant confident, sees victory,
The keenly bid, competitors scramble,
A rainbow or counterflow … symmetry.
Won prize stashed, slips by geniality,
Bewildered notes calm, auctioneer’s gavel,
Quantity taxes or pay quality,
A rainbow or counterflow … symmetry.
I followed a rat,
I watched it burn.
I followed a rat into the church,
It saw a light but I watched it burn.
I followed a rat, dressed in all white—
The rat grew wings, but still, it burned.
I carried a mouse,
I watched it rise.
I carried a mouse into the church,
It found the wine, yet I watched it rise.
I carried a mouse, dressed in Roman Olive—
The mouse burned wings, yet I watched it rise.
Dichotomy
What is Your Heaven?
What is it Like?
******
The More I Give
The More You Fight.
-Gray Squirrel
04-29-2024
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