"have you ever been in the depths of despair?"
her fiery hair burns bright as her question
yet I stay impassive, guard up
how could I have known what she meant?
I was but a child
now I understand
Held too tight
what we want
becomes a haunting
~ a bound wish
we'd undo a thousand times ~
as we clutch the dead
seized by siren song
we plunge to grasp at connection
yet arrive to mourn its passing
~ I sing no more of wanting ~
I'll let light dance on the surface
savour it
let it dissipate
linger only
in how it felt
to be
t
h
e
o .
b °
j
e
c
t °
°
of
d
e
s
i
r
e
for one stalled breath
for it cannot survive
the depths of the sea
#9 placement (premier)
DEPTHS OF SANITY
65
The creature crawls in front of me From the darkest depths of sanity His silence takes her by surprise The creature breaths his mouth is dry
Numbing fingers claw the ground Creature creeping all around From the darkest depths of sanity The darkest depths of sanity
A girl whos love for me is true Brings prophecies She listens to the words I say And lies so far so far away
Speaking scriptures that of love His eyes so blue as skies above Look into these eyes of blue She bleeds, she mates, shes there for you From the darkest depths of sanity The darkest depths of sanity
Her voice, her look, her seductive ways Drawling creature from his caves The creature walks he shakes the ground Sensing beauty all around She writes, she shouts, she goes in sane Creature crawling through her vein
Love for creature not for me The darkest depths of sanity The darkest depths of sanity
Life comes as it goes
It is designed as it flows
The easiest parts
Come with the hardest darts
Aiming from all directions
Guiding you on your next connections
To strengthen your soul
And navigate through the celestial pole
An everlasting journey
That will reveal itself like a ferny
Come to discover your hidden abilities
It will cleanse any hostilities
From the depths
I rise!
No longer feeling the pain
Having been through it and coming out sane
It’s a hard knock life as they will say
Keeps coming at me every single day
Protecting my thoughts from being taken away
It comes as it goes and it will become a surprise
From the depths I rise!
Will continue to pray for strength
To battle these demons through a multi wavelength
Keeping them at bay
Rinses my soul off of harms way
No matter how many times the rain dries
From the depths I rise!
Not knowing how or where I will go
I will continue to flow
To the sound of my heartbeat
As the wind blows through me
Wiping away my tears from my eyes
From the depths I rise!
No longer hurt in fear
Does not matter if the end is near
It will always be blue skies
From the depths I rise!
WHAT IMPRISONMENT MEANS TO ME
Imprisonment means restrictions and prohibitions
It means mean, mean men whose luck ran out
or who never really had much in the first place.
It’s the worst place if you let it be but it could be liberating
where else are people like us gonna find people like ourselves?
You gotta delve into the depths of who you are and who you could be
And who you should be
and the why of all three.
You have the freedom to beat em at their own game not be the same as you came in when you go out
And even if you’re leavin through the
back door you have more than a chance to glance the truth that works for you.
Jail is failure beyond the pale stale bread and being fed dinner at
Four, boredom galore, four walls, one with
Bars
A part of you thinks about
Gnawing your arms off and trying
To slip through
blue feelings, wheeling
And dealing and contemplating who you remain are
far and away what it really
Means to stay here is you’re always near to peers and fears
For years
And years
walls of waters crash
whirpools cull and pull within ~
stilly smiles the sea
When I was not in love
I wrote love poetry.
It’s easier
when you’re above the waves
to romance with words,
harder to write about love
when you're splashing around
in the depths of its ocean.
Laugher comes naturally
when I ponder the ambiguity,
mutual passion's
eventually turn to grocery lists
and chores to do.
Love poetry is a boat to ride,
it's up to us if we decide
to jump overboard again.
In the depths of night, when stars dance on the sky of unknown dreams,
The shadows of time creep along the edge of the soul, silent whispers.
Beneath silver leaves, the moon weaves its cloak of light over thoughts,
Traveling among memories, seeking peace amidst echoes and lines.
In the garden of eternity, the flowers of forgetfulness open their corolla to the sky,
And the wind carries the forgotten song of moments, an ancient mystery.
In the mirror of water, crystalline dreams shatter into thousands of rainbows,
And time unravels in waves, carried by the wings of an old era.
Far away, in the mystery of night, a forgotten clock counts its seconds,
While the heart loses itself in the labyrinth of profound magic.
Everything flows, everything passes, but in secret, something always remains,
A pale light, a spark, a secret waiting to be mine.
Under heavy eyelids of sleep, a dream seeks its way to the light,
In a world where silence and melancholy weave their divine tapestry.
And yet, among the shadows of eternity, a truth is silently born,
An endless longing, a calling, toward an unknown horizon.
In the depths of thoughts, where moonbeams intertwine with dreams,
Madness is super-sanity, a whirlwind of stars at dusk, full of surprises.
Normality, a pale shadow, losing its essence in the flat horizon,
Lack of imagination, a sky without clouds, losing its art.
Creativity is a dancing flame on the edge of an abyss,
A rainbow born from rains of thoughts, calling for new fantasies.
In an ocean of banality, only madness can still sing,
A siren's song that deeply vibrates in the soul, resonating eternally.
Through the labyrinths of minds, where normality is an overly trodden path,
Only madness finds ways to blue skies, where clouds have dispersed.
A universe of colors pouring from an untamed soul,
Where magic and melancholy have found their divine dance.
I have been to the depths of despair
With physical pain
Emotional sorrow
And something more elusive
A sense of standing at the edge
With nothing behind or beyond.
I don’t assume this is anything special
In fact I assume it is a given
For all of us
Who have lived at least
To a certain age.
What I have learned
Which may be of some solace
To those in these depths now
Or there someday soon
Is that we can endure more pain
Than we ever could imagine
And that when our life ends
As it eventually does
That pain is gone
As if it never existed.
(8/23/25)
Perhaps I'm naive, perhaps I'm deceived, but I read the depths of you,
Perhaps I'm patient, perhaps I'm silent, but I watch every step you take,
Perhaps I'm flawed, as you say, but I placed a coin on your dream,
And I don't recall a moment you were there to support me.
I don't remember you holding my hand and telling me it's okay,
When the sky was collapsing on us, and silence slowly parted us,
It's too late to think I was foolish to let you go far away,
When my heart was a battlefield of losses in your shadow.
In the stream of my consciousness, rivers of dreams flow, whispers of light,
And I wonder if you ever felt my heart beating for you,
When I embraced you as a mystery of the night, with the desire to keep you,
Now, in the silence of despair, I learn to rebuild my path to light.
Just as the moon embraces the sea and tells its tale to the waves,
I embraced you with all the strength of my heart, without you knowing,
Now I understand that love is not just a whispered story, but a song,
That you must write with your soul until it becomes eternity.
Love, like pizza, comes in many shapes
Carefully wrapped in a box
Round like the world itself
Yet each slice holds three edges.
But to her, love is more than form
More than shapes with sides and line
It’s a deep, dark hole
Like the heart of the universe’s core.
She seeks not what floats above
But what sinks beneath the surface
The quiet acts we hide
The truths we keep untouched.
In the depths of silence, thoughts flow like underground rivers,
where the moonlight stops to rest its weary wings,
and time seems an illusion, a grain of sand lost in the hourglass of eternity,
here, in the heart of silence, the thoughtful man crafts his own universe.
There is no rest for the thinker, only endless journeys,
among the shadows of memories and unfulfilled dreams that smolder quietly,
in a silent dance, in the depths of the mind, where silence sings,
and each moment becomes a new beginning, an unwritten poem.
Those who watch from afar do not know that in stillness life pulses,
that in each breath lie entire worlds, unspoken and infinite,
and in the depths of apparent nothingness, constellations of thoughts ignite,
where the thoughtful man finds his greatest activity.
In the shadow of silence, where only the echo of thoughts can penetrate,
lie the secrets of the universe, understood only by those who know how to listen,
and in this dance of silence, the esoteric magic of creation is born,
for only silence can reveal what noise conceals.
In the depths of silence, on the cold floor of memories,
I wander through old thoughts, in the shadow of lost dependencies.
I return to the same illusions, to those forgotten pills,
One after another, the days slip by in a deep sleep.
I cannot get over the reasons that abruptly broke our connection,
I cannot understand how our destinies intertwined this way.
For on every chosen path, we meet again, inevitably,
Regardless of our attempts to part ways.
I've heard you're no longer yourself, that you've succumbed to silence,
You spend your time in solitude, far from the nights out with the girls.
Without makeup, a storm of thoughts, with no reason to dress up,
I, back to my dependencies, have nothing to fight for.
Our ending isn't right, for our souls are entwined.
Our ending isn't right, for I falter without you, day and night.
In this melancholic incantation, we search for lost meaning,
In the chaos of existence, where the invisible universe calls us.
On the thread of time, we seek light in the ancient darkness,
Embracing the mystery of life as an eternal dance of stars.
In the depths of the night, when stars tell their story on the vast and eternal sky,
she walks like a shadow of light, with steps of butterflies in colorful flight.
Her beauty is an enigma, a dance of the sun on fields in bloom,
a gentle warmth like the dawn's awakening, embracing the earth.
Her gaze is a sunrise that knows no sunset, an eternal light,
and her smile, a symphony of rays dispelling shadows from the soul.
Her scent, a fragrance of childhood, sweet and refreshing like a cool drink,
wraps thoughts in memories of summer, under a clear and pure sky.
In her presence, time expands, becoming an ocean of endless moments,
where desires are lost and found, like the sea waves that never tire.
I could utter her name a thousand times, but it would be just a whisper,
words are too pale to encompass her essence, too poor to express it all.
In her eyes, I find a universe of light, an eternity of undeniable beauty,
for she knows no uncertainty, only the certainty of her full radiance.
Like a sun rising unabashed on the blue summer sky,
she carries her beauty with grace, without shadows of doubt or hesitation.
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