I wish I could unload the pain,
Unload then go completely insane.
Walk under the sunlight with a smile,
Not walking in the dark with every mile.
I wish the tears would stop rolling,
But it's like telling a cloud to stop raining.
One day get up and look upon a bright day,
Glance up at the sky and it be blue and not gray.
I wish the sadness would turn to glee,
But it's like asking vinegar honey to be.
Maybe that day will come without announcing itself,
Saving me from this life, Saving me from myself.
"Born Free" has to be my least favorite song.
It's reminiscent of the day when I was born.
I don't know what it was in my life that went wrong,
but at some point I was born free of everything human.
A bottomles void possesses me deep within
completely devoid of any true feelings.
Just to get through my day I fake all the emotions
with everyone I meet just to fit in.
Wearing a mask day and night is very exhausting.
Thankfully, all of this will one day come to an end
with death being my only one true salvation
and once more I will be born free again.
Born free from a life of isolation.
Born free from feeling like an alien.
Born free from not feeling anything at all human.
Born free from not feeling anything other than depression.
Hazy days spent finding myself
I'm the thirteenth guest at a party for twelve
I'm a fighter for a long lost cause
And nothing is how it once was
Hazy days spent fighting myself
But how can one defeat himself?
Friendly fire at your every move
But I fought the war and got the scars to prove
And outside - such a beautiful day
But can I face the streets today?
Locked in a prison inside of my head
Could I really be better off dead?
Rainy days inside a broken mind
Happiness's so hard to find
Despair kills the last of the hope
Day after day it's harder to cope
Empty days in search for intent
Praying that one day this quest will end
Stood at the edge, all faith is gone
But it's always darkest before the dawn
I am unknown.
People see my smiling face and big, bright eyes. They wonder and watch, but do not
see the sorrow that lies within me.
It is hard for a girl to see her friends move along when she falls behind. People
don't understand how a girl who has seen a baby's first words and an old woman's
last could wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night.
She is alone, and I am unknown.
The secrets that I keep poisen the blood in my veins. Everyday a peice of me fades
away and soon I shall no longer be. But still I wonder why the sky is blue, and still I
dream that one day I shall have a name.
I cry when a heart is broken and shame the one who has brought pain. Life is long,
tough, and unfair at times. But I hope one day to fully liveand be rid of my pain and
sorrow. To be the girl people know me to be and finally to be called a name that
does not bring pain.
Until that day I still remain.
I am unknown.
Why does he look so sad
can he not see the sun
are the clouds to thick
what happened to him
he use to be so much fun
Why does he look so angry
is it no one cares
can they not understand
what he is feeling inside
or is it to much for them to bare
Why is he crying so silently
can he not let anyone in
is he ashamed of what he is feeling
not anyone could have that thick of skin
Maybe one day someone will help him
Maybe one day they will see
That he just needs someone to lean on
Just like you or me
i set and wounder what i have become feel emtey inside not at
all myself slowly loosing it can't beleave this is me trying to hold
on to the oz of hope i have left
drowning my soul in tears of sorrow feeling as i'm fallin deeper
into a hole no ladder no rope to get me out can't beleave this is me
my day to day pain is getting stronger to hard to deal with not wanting
to feel or see another day of this so call life gettin to that bracking point
where i dont know who i am or what to do so far gone my mind is blowin
can't beleave this is me
She lay there in her bed so sad,
And faced another restless night.
She wondered, 'Am I really bad -
Or am I just an ugly sight?'
She sighed, and switching out the light,
Her lonely heartbeat like a drum,
She told herself all would be right.
She dreamed one day her prince would come.
She’d dreamed the strangest dream she’d had,
And saw a man of fearsome height,
Expression wild - he may be mad,
The type that people think will bite.
She woke up, shouting with delight,
'At last I’ve found my own someone!'
Alas, her bed was still as white.
She dreamed one day her prince would come.
The morning came and she was glad,
She felt she’d meet the man, her knight.
He wouldn’t mind they called her mad.
She thought she wouldn’t have to fight
To win his love - although she might…
As people treated Lin like scum,
And tapped their heads and smirked, 'Not right',
She dreamed one day her prince would come.
She died alone in bed that night;
The carer telephoned her mum.
She never found her Mister Right.
She dreamed one day her prince would come.
I live my life day to day,
Never knowing what's coming my way,
Who's going to make life worth living?
Who's going to take it away?
My heart is covered with scars
Did you ever stop to think,
this isn't her fault, its ours?
I didn't think so.
Well what do you know?
Here I sit, pen in hand, thoughts in my head,
Are you thinking about everything you've said?
Trying to remember, just what it was.
Here's an applause.
It's just for you.
For you and everything you do.
For everything you've done.
You're the reason I'm where I'm at.
You can believe that.
I didn't ask for any of this.
Nor do I want it.
Everyday I make a wish,
I never waste it on me.
How rude would that be?
Instead, I wish for everyone else.
I can't sleep at night,
I lay there and wish everything will turn out alright.
Hoping that not only will the next day be a new one,
But that it will be a totally new one.
Worry and stress free.
That's the way it ought to be.
No one will truly ever see,
The way you've made me.
So thank you for everything you do,
I really love living this way.
It makes me absolutely insane.
Theres not much more to say.
I am sick and tired of being me
At least the parts that you all see
Nothing else makes any sense
I wish that I could take a stand
Make you all understand
Why I try so very hard
Just to please my ungrateful mom
Nothing matters anyway
So why live for one more day
What else can you see
If you look deep within me?
A tortured soul no path to walk
A silent mouth no words to talk
A perfect robot day in day out
A pretty face no room to shout
A silky complexion as cold as ice
A smile with no sacrifice
Laughter faking is a game
One that will receive no fame
I’m sorry has no meaning
Even if it is sincere
Nothing else matters especially here
Forever filled with silence
Tomorrow is just a day
Nothing to hold onto
Today is how we stay
Forever is a mystery
And the past is history
What matters isn’t how you live
Or what you have to overcome
You are the paper and the pen
Life is the story you haven’t told
A perfect robot day in day out
Three more years I cannot shout
Then I get to walk away
Forever me another day.
Everyone, so mad. Mad at me. Mad for not speaking but when I do, no one listens. No one
cares. What’s wrong with us? Why can’t we listen, why can’t we speak? Blaming me, for the
things I’ve done. Admitting to what I’ve done, they still blame me. “I’m sorry!” I yell.
I’m sorry for hurting you, for not believing, for lying. I’m sorry for it all, why won’t
you listen to me! I mean it all, I mean it. Why do you have to do this? Why do you have to
hurt me more than I’ve hurt you? Can’t you see the regret in my eyes, in my tears? Can’t
you hear it in my voice when I say “I’m sorry”? I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. Won’t
someone believe me? What about you? Won’t you at least believe me? No? But why?
How many times must a man say he is sorry until the pain stops? How many times must he
shed tears for the regret and guilt he feels? Maybe one day society won’t judge you for
your past, but rather how you plan to live the future. Maybe one day we will all find
someone we truly love. Maybe one day the past will become changeable, then maybe we will
all get the second chance we all pray for. Maybe, just maybe one day my wishes will come true.
On the bluest of days several emotions,
Bleed through over time.
On a day remembered back in a page of time.
A great pain non-stop aching heart and spine.
Sweating tears from an exact moment in mind.
Lucid visions played back vivid and sharp.
Like being there all over again from the start.
Hours go by, feelings so very strong.
Deep inside a feeling of something wrong.
Entity holding memories from so far back.
So many things, so far to look back, many that attack.
Happenstance only for a chosen few.
One day in life everything turns blue.
Illuminating days of plenty.
Show a path where peered out among.
Where that day came from.
James C Bryant Jr.
April 10. 2003
I wake up exhausted.
The feelings are there.
I go through the motions of living my life.
Just another day to get through.
Tie my shoe.
What do I do?
Oh yeah, tie the other one.
A brick is pulling me down
as I move ahead
step by step.
Memories tug at me,
taking me out of the present,
unprocessed and toxic.
How can I move on,
light and free,
happy and buoyant?
I can’t get the thoughts from
pulling me,
flattening me,
making my day just another day,
full of lead.
nobody se what i go through day by day not even you
i pray and pray that i could tell someone who will listen
i am hoping you see it true
i try to do the best i can
i strive to be the best woman i can
i seem to fail at a lot of things ive tried
it hurts so bad ive mostly cried
the pain seems to be the only thing i gain
anger is no stranger we ponder
i sometimes ask why bother
please help me to be free
i know you see what i want to be
the same each day - no different is my night
I yearn for light inside my dismal fold
The joy I seek eludes my feeble sight ......
My profile low - restrictions far too tight
Of time and sense of nature growing old
The same each day - no different is my night.
Mt soirit low - cleft too bereft for flight
Cross shadowed - squeezed into a mortal mould
The joy I seek eludes my my feeble sight ......
The "Soup Run" warms me in pitious plight
A hug a caring female hand to hold
The same each day - no different is the night.
Gone (almost) is the life I thought my right
Undead I cling to clay while growing old
The joy I seek eludes my feeble sight ......
Eclipsing life itself - a human blight
Unloved - unwashed - my spirit unconsoled
The same each day - no different is my night.
My rose has bloomed - and blossomed in the light
A bteath of warmth has blown away the cold
Th joy i seek for suddenly in sight ......
YES ..... Now I glimpse a bright celestial light
And feel this day will now to joy unfold
A bright new day - the passing of the night
The joy for which I sought - at last in sight !!!!!
I thought u were my protector,
the one who would touch me.
Ur such a lier, When all u did was rape me.
u beat my n never stopped.
I hope u feel good about ur self now,
cause all i feel like is hurting myself.
i feel that u were my hero,
the one who would never hurt me.
ur the one n wit all the rest of ur friends who took my inocents,
i hope that one day u'll realize how much i want to die.
i go on a day to day basis thinking wether i should blast myself.
u'll never now how much pain u brought to my life, n how i will never be okay.
but i will survive n be a surviver n i will never give up on life.
thanks 4 everything cause if i didnt go through that i wouldnt be who i am today!!!!
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