Best Depressionday Poems
I wake to find the day is gray,
All my hopes are chased away.
I pull the covers over my head,
I just woke from a dream I was dead.
I look around and try to smile,
feels of dread clouding me all the while.
I'm waiting for the other shoe,
it will drop I promise you.
I sit hugging my knees pulled up tight,
my heart doesn't let in the sunshines light.
Chilled down to the very bone,
You'd think I was in a winter's home.
I stare at the wall and try to focus,
to achieve that I'd need some hocus pocus.
I talk to my family that I dearly love,
and pray for help from heaven above.
So I sit here in my emo corner,
a lovely place for a loner.
Maybe one day I'll escape,
I hope it doesn't come too late.
River Of Darkness
There is a river of darkness in my heart
And the pain runs through it like a dart
There is no release from the rain
No way to drown all the pain
Inside my mind I still can see
My life that’s gone before me
There’s no way to get it back
No way to lighten all the black
Inside this cave I feel so cold
No longer able to stand so bold
Cause when you left I fall apart
Destroying my soul and my heart
Though the choice was not your own
God decided to call you home
Though I begged for you to stay
God knew your body was in decay
Even after all this time I still feel lost
Each day I realize the cost
That the river of darkness will always flow
Consuming me and my soul
This morning I woke up to the rain
Another day of the same
A tear formed on the side of my eye
Though I tried hard not to cry
Wish I knew how to move on
Not think daily how you’re gone
But I can’t for you are all I see
In everything that is in front of me
When I look into the mirror
That fact couldn’t be any clearer
That I’m turning out to be just like you
Something I always wanted to do
To me as a child, you were the one
A perfect father to your son
Now that son misses you so
From the depths of his soul
You’ll wanna forget, but I’ll sell your kisses for a bag and a rig.
My glory rides on a brick and a gram
You’ll never get more then half my mind.
I’ll eat ya to put you to sleep
Cause my dick won’t step up half the time.
Your eyes shut to tapping my vein
Dancing through shards of moonlight, emptying your purse.
I can score while your searching your plastic case for your pretty face.
Sweet poems and construction paper cards were pregame.
Now I finger through your parents drawers, quarter rolls are good enough.
Do you still crave me babe?
How’s third place, my two best buds a needle away?
Even when my eyes aren’t dotted up it isn’t fair.
Just a routine, credit card debt and jail don’t scare.
With me we’re always in the midst of thunder
Recoveries pink clouds in front but out of grasp.
Absence of luck permits you to hang on to my spirit embezzling tears.
I’ll be smiling at the freedom, Ignoring your texted stabs.
Long sleeves and 50 hour work weeks fooled your parents, but
The mirrors sunken and pale my features lost to warmth artificial from my heart.
Everything is gonna be cool as long as no one sees my arms.
Penniless, I’ll dissolve all my cravings under my tongue… for a week.
Steaks marinated in Pabst followed by talks of your creation.
We can lay in bed alll day watching Hulu and melting time.
For once I’ll be all your’s no more rocks disrupting my brain.
As soon as pay day hits I’ll sprint out the front door.
In this empty room staring at the ceiling
All confused with funny feelings
I’ve got voices in my head
Now I’m talking to the dead
They tell me I’m alive
Cause I survived
The scary thought, of suicide
They tell me to appreciate
The life that I am given
And one day I’ll be driven into heaven
Where I will meet the real friends
That I am given
Until this day
I’ll sit and wait
For someone to come and end my fate
Hazy days spent finding myself
I'm the thirteenth guest at a party for twelve
I'm a fighter for a long lost cause
And nothing is how it once was
Hazy days spent fighting myself
But how can one defeat himself?
Friendly fire at your every move
But I fought the war and got the scars to prove
And outside - such a beautiful day
But can I face the streets today?
Locked in a prison inside of my head
Could I really be better off dead?
Rainy days inside a broken mind
Happiness's so hard to find
Despair kills the last of the hope
Day after day it's harder to cope
Empty days in search for intent
Praying that one day this quest will end
Stood at the edge, all faith is gone
But it's always darkest before the dawn
One day you love me,
One day you hate me,
One day you disappear,
One day you are always there by my side,
One day you are confused,
One day your lost,
One day you confident,
Onde day you are scared,
One day you are paranode,
One day you are rude,
One day you were different masks,
One day you somone else,
One day you are not yourself,
One day you are crying,
One day you are negetive,
One day you get nightmares,
One day you are not strong,
One day you are stranger,
One day you ignore me,
One day lie to me,
One day you promise to help,
Yet you are not there,
One day you are not sure about me,
One day you love me not,
One day you have multipule personality,
One day you prmise me to be mine forever,
One day you say you are sorry that you were a jerk,
The next day you be rude and a jerk again,
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you hurt people that love you alot?
Why do you hide everything from them?
Why are you not honest with me?
Why don't you trust me?
This harrowing day has consumed me with bleak
as I cannot speak I shut the door…
I am weak, saturated in my own sorrow,
sick in my own destruction of self of love.
Like a glove squeezing taunt against my gaunt heart
wrenching apart my clinging threads of mind
left behind as I try to fill my day with matter…
I shatter.
As I cannot speak I shut the door,
today I want no more than a gently hand to reach me,
touch me…
just be as though I had some kind of intent,
bent up and busted inside my beating chest
today my suffering finds no rest.
Black clouds hang dark to suffocate my space,
a face left faceless suspended and void
yet an asteroid of emotion lives within me.
I look around this day and I want to see
eyes wide open searching free but I am weak
as I cannot speak I shut the door.
Where do I go, what do I feel?
This real we call our waking hours in days,
surreal to me my heart’s blaze burns cold…
and I am old,
grown tired, uninspired of a sequestered soul
I lye ailing, dribbling down this lonesome hole.
Today I want no more than a gentle hand to reach me,
touch me…understand
that I hunger day and night in this demented fight
to reach new heights in connection of a kind,
yet today I find I am weak…
as I cannot speak I shut the door.
Many times a day I stop
and look in the mirror,
most of the time I
think why am I here.
The reflection that looks
back at me seems lonely
and scared,not remembering
when the last time was
anyone really cared.
Lately I think alot about
wanting to die,my life just
keeps going down hill
so why even try.
When life gets overwhelming,
I sometimes stop and pray,
hoping that tomorrow it
will be a better day.
I get upset when things get
to me as easy as they do,
but I wouldn't wish for anyone
to spend one day in my shoes.
I can't wait until the day
that reflection in the mirror,
says all the pain was worth it
and I'm glad that your still here.
Colleen Marie Bono
The paths and streets have worn the soles...
scraped the feet, this journey has seen this soul's defeat
At every turn the hope was dashed
...the love fell through as feelings clashed
A day without strife was lost to me
...all want for self was there set free
And numb is the heartsong now
every sunray cast askew through clouds
Yearning was real, yet never struck deep
....a hazy dream in a fit-filled sleep
Awaken to tear stained pillowcases
....but blurred are the faces-and the emotion is now forgotten
the new day downtrodden-before these weary feet
every feel the cold hardwood world
Why does he look so sad
can he not see the sun
are the clouds to thick
what happened to him
he use to be so much fun
Why does he look so angry
is it no one cares
can they not understand
what he is feeling inside
or is it to much for them to bare
Why is he crying so silently
can he not let anyone in
is he ashamed of what he is feeling
not anyone could have that thick of skin
Maybe one day someone will help him
Maybe one day they will see
That he just needs someone to lean on
Just like you or me
"what do you mean by that? " he said
in rather a threatening manner,
I blushed - my face turned red,
all the joy in the day was marred.
His anger changed my view of him
his witty turn of phrase now jarred,
his caustic comments left me cold,
all the joy in the day was marred.
Before I speak I'll think quite hard
and just stay in my own back yard,
curl up in a ball in the corner
for all the joys in all my days are marred,
the same each day - no different is my night
I yearn for light inside my dismal fold
The joy I seek eludes my feeble sight ......
My profile low - restrictions far too tight
Of time and sense of nature growing old
The same each day - no different is my night.
Mt soirit low - cleft too bereft for flight
Cross shadowed - squeezed into a mortal mould
The joy I seek eludes my my feeble sight ......
The "Soup Run" warms me in pitious plight
A hug a caring female hand to hold
The same each day - no different is the night.
Gone (almost) is the life I thought my right
Undead I cling to clay while growing old
The joy I seek eludes my feeble sight ......
Eclipsing life itself - a human blight
Unloved - unwashed - my spirit unconsoled
The same each day - no different is my night.
My rose has bloomed - and blossomed in the light
A bteath of warmth has blown away the cold
Th joy i seek for suddenly in sight ......
YES ..... Now I glimpse a bright celestial light
And feel this day will now to joy unfold
A bright new day - the passing of the night
The joy for which I sought - at last in sight !!!!!
When I walk through the halls,
Everyone see’s a smile,
They hear a laugh
And think nothing of it,
Why wont you ask me what’s wrong?
I want someone to look through my lies,
And see that im dieing on the inside
Why cant people see the real me?
Why cant they see what’s wrong?
What if one day I go home and hurt myself,
And the next day im gone?
Would you even care?
Would you even shed a tear?
I just want someone to look through my lies,
And know that im hurting on the inside.
I wish I could unload the pain,
Unload then go completely insane.
Walk under the sunlight with a smile,
Not walking in the dark with every mile.
I wish the tears would stop rolling,
But it's like telling a cloud to stop raining.
One day get up and look upon a bright day,
Glance up at the sky and it be blue and not gray.
I wish the sadness would turn to glee,
But it's like asking vinegar honey to be.
Maybe that day will come without announcing itself,
Saving me from this life, Saving me from myself.
And my mouth is so dry
So dry that the words coming out of it or like none I’ve ever heard before, don’t
even know if they exist
The crushing experience of what is to come for oneself
I’m so lonesome I could cry…I think I just might
With such a daring attempt on life, how could one be trusted with such a thing?
Nothing more can be done but to just listen to that lonely song once more
Repeating all throughout the night, the strum of the guitar, and the pain of a voice
singing your life away through the speakers,
like it was meant for you
Twirling the ring around my finger out of boredom
Staring out into the darkness of this room, this strange room,
this is not my room, no
Now examining my hands, how small and red they are
And how cold, so cold
Another day
Here it is, another day, another lonely day
Could one even feel as lonely as now? Could one even feel? There seems to be no
reason for the on coming days, they will hold nothing
What is the purpose of waiting for the day to end? For the day to begin?
Is there not one? Not even one? I will wait, right here
Just like I’ve always done
Sitting and waiting for the day to come to where everything will make perfect sense
and there will be no more questioning
No more questioning my actions, my decisions or choices
No more questioning my life or yours for that matter
But for now all I can do is sit here and think, think of nothing
And my thoughts bring nothing but tears and I let myself cry
I let myself tear and fall apart, I let myself scream
And I hope that everyone in the skies and under the ground and everywhere in
between hear me, and for once listen
But a promise is nothing but a guarantee for a broken heart these days
BREAKING NEWS!
I’m breaking, I’m shattered, there is nothing left of me now
I am suffering in a million pieces all about the floor
Do not sweep me up, just let me lay there to cry, just leave me there
At least now you will know where I am, just be careful
when stepping around my pain because it is a live wire
This room, the walls are so pale, just so pale
Written December 17, 2006