S imply stated
T his life's complicated
U ncertainties abound
C aught in volatility
K nowing not what's next
(a love story)
It’s like my brain is dating me - but it’s complicated.
I was talking to my favorite person the other day.
You might call it an internal monologue.
I really like me,
but I keep me under self-surveillance.
I know me well - we've been intimate.
I rely on myself a lot.
Sure, I've let me down
but I feel me trying.
I feel my pain.
That's metaphorical pain,
I'm in no physical, or existential pain,
my dramas are interior, but the stakes are real.
I carry contradictions,
I’m constantly auditioning for my own approval.
I like my opinions, I understand them.
I'm not a fan of the pug nose, but no ones perfect
- except maybe Ansel Elgort (that man can get it).
My mission, over the next few years,
is to build a usable self
from emotional nonfiction,
a stable self-love,
and my mix of inherited qualities.
.
.
A song for this:
Cameo Lover by Kimbra
It’s complicated this being human
So much baggage
As a species, race, family and individual
Old Lao Tzu didn’t have to look too far
To see that we are each a whole
A bit of this in a bit of that
As the opposites swirl in endless dance
It takes a lifetime to get a grip
And even then it’s often not long enough
As we take shelter in the mundane
The routine and familiar
Fortunately we can talk and read
And so share the stories
On what it means to be complicated
Convoluted, inside-out, outside-in beings
At least it helps to know you’re not alone
Although each of us have to make our own way
Figuring out what it means to be
A swirling bindu of interpenetrated opposites
How are you? How’s it going?
It’s complicated, we reply
Each in our own way
(6/23/26)
it's intentions
it's intended purpose
the unnesscary pressure on
a relationship
to prove our love
and
admiration
to speak of love
with such intntions
isn't overeager
or isn't wrong
but expections
can cause rifts
and frails
your doings will
make you think you've failed
sometimes lovers
do the reversal script
you waste your time
you waste your trip
I aint one with bad intentions
a folish lover
far many times
more to mention
something about love
makes you do these things
th joy of success
the and sorted strains
Maybe just maybe
it's a sign of love
one that makes the other
worth thinking of
to love I lift my glass
a toast to all
for love to last
but for me what a strain
joys of love
and unraveled dreams
For those who Love
i wish you the best
the joy it brings
all the happiness
take some time
to Love
love in every faze
Love is the right time and place
puts a smile on peoples face
I tried to run,
Through streets that whispered my name,
Through nights that swallowed my tears,
Through mornings that mocked my hope.
But fate, that silent architect,
Had already drawn my shadows
Into corners I could not leave,
Into hands I could not break free from.
I reached for love,
Hoping it could be my bridge,
But even love bends beneath the weight
Of a path already written.
Every heartbeat was a question
That the universe refused to answer,
Every breath a plea
That dissolved into the cold wind.
And I learned that some storms
Are not meant to pass,
That some doors, no matter how hard we pound,
Remain locked in destiny’s stubborn hands.
So here I am,
With a heart that screams silently,
With eyes that remember every goodbye,
With a soul that knows—
It’s so complicated to escape fate.
Stark pineapple sap burns the tips of tongues
and tackies the soft pads of curious fingers.
Humidity that moistens the laughing brows
also drenches nervous palms.
Everything is damp and hot and on fire and sweet.
Sticky fingers course my arm, eyes glide over
my body~ half naked, glimmering with summer dew
do-
do you love me?
Say that love conquers all,
and that you won’t clobber my pulsing flesh.
Say you will not love me.
I only want respect.
For I have learned I may only choose
one of the two states.
Keep lying out of your sweet pineapple mouth
saying you do not love me.
and kiss me, trail your syrupy lips down
down my
skin~ lush and liquid
until that very body trickles.
And smile with your treacled mouth once the tap stops dripping sap
and say you do not love me.
And hold me in June-night’s heat.
Bare and sandy feet run wild across the summer beach
and unworthy mouths will dance the citrus dance tonight.
And the pineapple is almost run out.
and I am pulsing faster now
Quickly~
make sure you do not love me.
''Nor sequent centuries could hit, orbit and sum of Shakespeare's wit." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Search for her twin. The dramatic comedy will begin.
She is a girl dressed as a man, How far can unrequited love span?
Many a twist and turn, of love we learn.
A complicated scenario. Character's love, going to and froe.
Crowd pleasers like a sword fight, all this happens in the Twelfth Night.
After she left, they said she was a complicated and mysterious soul,
She had secrets hidden in the corners of her mind, shadows she never revealed;
Her gaze never matched the smile that seemed painted on her face,
She wrote words no one read, lost in time and space,
Cried silently in bathrooms, with the faucet running, hiding her tears,
She dreamed of becoming a woman no one would try to fix or change.
But the world didn’t want that, it sought something else, a face easier to decipher,
The world wanted subtlety, sensuality, a presence that would disrupt the silence,
So she played the role, dressed in the cloak of appearances society demanded,
Until someone fell in love with the mask and killed the girl hidden beneath.
In the depths of the soul, where dreams and reality blend like a river of shadows,
She remains, an echo of a world that never understood her complexity,
A soul floating among the stars, seeking its place in the boundless universe,
Her memory remains a symbol of the misunderstood, of those who dream beyond.
See I know you go home to him
When think you should be
Coming home to me
I try Lord knows
I try
Why am I asking myself
You deceive him when you say
You love him
Are you taking me for granted
You want me baby
But he won't have it
What you say is
Contradictive to me
What one
We gone do that one
But think you want some
attention
Might I mention
Aunt no use for me
Try'na
Cause you complicating things
It's my heart I'm protecting
In all this rejection
It's the kinda love
People you believe in
How does one heal?
by getting someone new?
by going out on group or solo dates and so on?
by sitting on the couch and eating ice cream?
or laying in bed, listening to Tjay's 'love hurts' and sobbing?
or continuing with life, laughing like all is good?
till they're in their room and doing what they should
just a single thought, and their heart starts throbbing
in deep pain, until they fell like they should scream'
back to thinking how they were used as a pawn
but they were in love and had no clue
Emotions were in control and they thought it was real.
25/4/2024.
The 2nd trip had a mix bag: good and bad.
Good ferry, scenic & company,
Bad weather and transport.
I suppose, it comes down to how much one wants to travel.
I love it so much, I could walk in the mud, rain and wind.
The world is amazing and the nature welcomes those who embrace it.
I have wasted so much time on grieving the bitter family tragedy.
Everyone I met had their unique reason.
For decades, I never missed loving anyone since I never met one.
I suppose one can't have everything in life.
He loved me, I love C&G, who does BB love?
Love can be very complicated.
One must follow one own heart.
Misused it, one can destroy oneself and the other half.
It calls Karma.
The strange caricature reminds me of your odd face,
The twinkling roar clings to your tiny lace.
The way you want to lean on my race,
The sacred passion gives me a new space.
The only path I have seen,
One and only desire you could have been,
One and only proportion you own for the time being,
I am no one else until you see me clearly giving.
The endless life is a paradox of gorgeous wings,
You are no longer out of control for the measured pings.
The unholy genuineness gives me no more rare bliss,
The unknown appetites are the reason for my irregular gist.
It is not common or ordinary anymore,
It is not filled with hate at its core.
It is no longer my salient reason,
No reason can ease my aggressive tension.
Why can I not settle for less?
Why are you not something obvious to bless?
Why don't you know my name until I remind you of the same?
Why can't you see me as nothing more than a dice in this game?
Life is simple
It's we who makes
Complication.
Bel Canto
Him Speaking his feelings(part Four)
Her Lover has done
somethang wrong
who's loving her
when he is gone
It's so real
But it ain't right
As someone who knows
trust me this aint right
It aint right
I know were wrong
I'm your lover
when your husbands gone
referr to us
as future lovers
it's all on someone else
our happiness
Gone, somewhere
they'll find us
gone, that's where we'll be
Gone,, someone will find us
Gone, it's when you're with me
Ah combination
of Luck and skill
Sneaking around is
still a thrill
I cringe at night
thinking of ya'll together
I kiss my wife
to take a chill
Gone, the thought not seeing you
gone, with you is happiness
gone, it when we're together
Gone, it it no loneliness
She finds me interesting
she likes being with me
is it because I'm
unobtainable
ans she's has someone too
love her I've found myself Loving Her
Ya'll know this is wrong
Bel Canto (Part two)
what they wish to achieve
____________________________
Oh yah of love
might we proclaim
to spread the word
In Jesus name
Oh Fouled be cleansed
filth washed away
that we have vowed
this glorious day
As my bride
oh sorrows cease
that we as one
might love in peace
What we have
we unite as one
Our story than
has just begun
Concerted by
what songs we sing
to stand up tall
what joy this brings
Tis music in
a lovers ears
to speak the words
we hold sincere
thy holy state
of matrimonious
to cherish God
in our simple trust
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