make it so

everything’s complicated everything’s a struggle have you noticed? it’s a psychological horror is this the ‘adult disillusionment’ I keep hearing about? I mean, things work, if you sit on them like an egg— If your mother things along and helicopter a result. I mean, what do people do who don't have my resources and sunny disposition? I get America’s increasing paranoia but I think that it's ass backwards. Even if someone's were out to ‘get’ you, no one actually cares about doing their job anymore. There's just so little competence around, that the dysfunction feels intentional. And because you need something and you’re helpless, you can't help but feel targeted. But I think I figured it out, so let me elucidate—they aren't giving YOU bad service, it isn't personal—everyone is getting bad service, two pieces of chicken when you ordered three, five day delivery when you’re clearly paying for two, failure’s become routine—endemic. My go-to phrase has become, “What’ll it cost?” (the answer, usually: twice as much) “Make it so,” I say, swiping something with my Apple Watch, and suddenly, everything works! . . A song for this: decide to be happy by MisterWives . . My ex-navy stepfather always says, “Make it so,” it’s an old navy phrase that means, ‘proceed’