Cletus Poems - Poems about Cletus

Cletus O'Toole spent some time in Reno Where he lost his shirt playin' at keno This caused a great deal of strife With his long-sufferin' wife She raged on like a squally El Nino...

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Most folks attend church to worship and praise the Lord as a general rule, But this is not necessarily the case for God-fearing Deacon Cletus O'Toole. He religiously goes to church every Sunday to take a nap (such is his nerve!), And partake of potluck suppers and to quaff the coffee and donuts they serve!...

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Since toilet tissue is so hard to find He bought a bidet to cleanse his behind With the very first flush Cletus scalded his tush To use again he...

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He quaffed a six-pack of Corona Beers Ending up with the worst headache in years Perhaps to lessen his plight He should've had a Bud Lite Sure sign of...

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Cletus O'Toole in a moment of greed 'Borrowed' the judge's magnificent steed To steal a horse not his'n He spent six months in prison His name e'er stained for...

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Cletus O'Toole had always yearned to fly He joined the Air Force to give it a try He tried a daring chandelle It didn't go all that well Cletus...

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Cletus joined the Navy on a fool whim And was told he needed to learn to swim He was launched off the dock And he sank like a rock ...

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Though many times Cletus O'Toole was somewhat uncouth, He could always be relied upon to tell the truth. No better legacy to his progeny could he bequeath, Than that of, "Truer words were never spoken thru falser teeth!"...

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Cletus O'Toole checked in all set to fly Mistletoe o'er the bag scale caught his eye He asked, "Can I have my kiss?" "No!" replied the little miss ...

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Cletus O'Toole asked the lady, perchance If she would like to join him for a dance He trampled her toes And rumpled her clothes When asked again she said,...

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Cletus O'Toole slipped on a 'nana peel He broke his femur and damaged his heel He asked a judge to rule "You lost yer suit, O'Toole; A higher court...

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Cletus O'Toole sulked 'neath the mistletoe Pining for a kiss by chicks to bestow They tittered as they passed by Noting his jean's open fly All 'cept Cletus were...

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Cletus O'Toole tested the slopes at Vail He met some trees as he sped t'ward the vale 'Twas a short-lived journey Sprawling on a gurney His hapless schuss left...

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Cletus O'Toole was a hopeless recruit Cletus cared for the army not one hoot He was the sergeants bane And deemed their rules inane He was asked to leave...

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Cletus O'Toole fancied himself so cool 'Til at Clyde's Bar he got fresh with Jewel Her he tried to embrace She punched him in the face In fact so hard it knocked him off his stool...

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