Cheapskate Poems - Poems about Cheapskate

That Date with Jennifer Lopez

...Wait. To you, she's “La Lopez”. To me, “Jen”, always.
Doyenne of “Anaconda”. A date, indeed!
You’d have me narrate the gravamen,
say how it was? She was a ten. Great, she seemed.
Or perhaps an ei...

Family Values

...Sold on a cheapskate cheesing.
Cupcaked' by a cheesecake reasoning.
Kids, plenty for the 
Cakewalk.
Kids, plenty to play 
Hopscotch.
Kids, plenty of energy goes 
Non-stop.
Disparaging remarks...

German Potato Salad

...The grandfather on my mother's side was a cheapskate. 
A real cheapskate.
One Christmas, he gave me a used paperback book.
Something like “Jimmy Plays Baseball.”
It was written for a 7 year old c...

Ancient Art

...
Let me put it in Quotation marks!!!
This is not for the faint of heart
A world full of fakes and farce
Always on opposing sides many remain apart
Meanwhile the news is sad still breaking hearts...

What the Friggin

...What The Friggin
Happened here mate.
I thought we had a date
Now you're late
Where's the bait?
I've burnt the steak.
You're a flippin' 
flagellate.
Get off your tailgate
and get over here
a...

Beauty Queen Is Still Looking

...Once upon a time a well-stacked, beautiful Playmate
One featured in Hefner’s magazine, which was first rate
bought herself a marvelous Hollywood estate
With future proceeds she hoped to create.

...

A Home They Could Not Know

...What do the dodgers dodge? 
Remind me to lace up my socks, 
Put on my boots and be born again.
Trained and ready, steady, go! 
An old man’s antlers in the rutt,
Dangling keys riding on hips of s...

No Fairy-Tale

...2/23/21

From May to April
Faithful
Remaining grateful
And thankful
Hiking around with a dog named Hazel
Sometimes watching a movie or something on cable
Got to make the best of it, or else i...

And Then There Was One

...What do the dodgers dodge? 
Remind me to lace up my socks, 
Put on my boots and be born again.
Trained and ready, steady, go! 
An old man’s antlers in the rutt,
Dangling keys riding on hips of s...

Cheapskate

...husband’s cheap gift wife’s 
expression priceless wife drags 
tightwad mate to court 


Created and posted : 23 November 2020

Contest : Make Me Laugh With Some Humour

Sponsor : Tania Kitch...

I See True Your Eyes

...I SEE TRUE YOUR EYES 


You look, you look, you 
look me, in the eye,
But your gaze carries 
on, into infinity,
No other reason, 
except it’s all lies,
Unable to make contact, 
you stare th...

25 Cents

...I'll tell you the reason why my neighbor's head has a big dent.
I mowed his yard and cleaned his gutters and he paid me 25 cents.
When he handed me that quarter, I began to yell.
Before I slugged ...

All About Me

...I love thunder storms and Mexican food
I love dogs and being in a good mood
I like learning new things
I used to wear my hair in bangs
It looked really crappy
But now my hair is really happy
I ...

The Cheap Date

...My date said, “I always order water on my dates.”
“Then I can save a couple of bucks, which is great.”
Alarm bells started to go off in my mind.
This match.com guy was either broke or cheap, and n...

Can You Open the Floodgates

...can you open the floodgates



one coffee date
nothing ornate
why can't you relate
why do you skate
the subject of debate
I'm not cheapskate
I'll let you dictate
and narrate
stories of fa...

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