Long Cheapskate Poems

What do the dodgers dodge? 
Remind me to lace up my socks, 
Put on my boots and be born again.
Trained and ready, steady, go! 
An old man’s antlers in the rutt,
Dangling keys riding on hips...

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What do the dodgers dodge? 
Remind me to lace up my socks, 
Put on my boots and be born again.
Trained and ready, steady, go! 
An old man’s antlers in the rutt,
Dangling keys riding on hips...

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2/23/21

From May to April
Faithful
Remaining grateful
And thankful
Hiking around with a dog named Hazel
Sometimes watching a movie or something on cable
Got to make the best of it, or else it would be shameful
Far too often people being...

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Oh!!!! I forgot the new playstation
The I-pod as well
Hell, don't even ask me did I get the new I-phone
There is nothing to return because it was never brought

But I did remember on this 25th day...
The...

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Let me put it in Quotation marks!!!
This is not for the faint of heart
A world full of fakes and farce
Always on opposing sides many remain apart
Meanwhile the news is sad still breaking hearts
Once again the...

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I think I'll write a country song
about the weasel that 'done me wrong'
We'd have been married thirty years today
if he hadn't had a penchant to stray.

I got the pickup truck, so we'll leave that part...

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I SEE TRUE YOUR EYES 


You look, you look, you 
look me, in the eye,
But your gaze carries 
on, into infinity,
No other reason, 
except it’s all lies,
Unable to make contact, 
you stare through me.

You see,...

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The grandfather on my mother's side was a cheapskate. 
A real cheapskate.
One Christmas, he gave me a used paperback book.
Something like “Jimmy Plays Baseball.”
It was written for a 7 year old child, and I was...

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Once upon a time a well-stacked, beautiful Playmate
One featured in Hefner’s magazine, which was first rate
bought herself a marvelous Hollywood estate
With future proceeds she hoped to create.

This was way back in the day, about seventy-eight.
This...

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(This is a fictional poem)

I'm all alone and I feel remorse.
A cheap VCR caused me to get a divorce.
Many people say that was a silly reason for our marriage to end.
I lost the love of...

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I'll tell you the reason why my neighbor's head has a big dent.
I mowed his yard and cleaned his gutters and he paid me 25 cents.
When he handed me that quarter, I began to yell.
Before...

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*Bump and Grind* 
Jerkin' 
Twerkin' 

*Swing* 
Now Go 
Down Low 

*Moonwalk* 
Jackson's 
Actions 

*Hip Hop Slam* 
Word slap 
Fast rap 

*Pop Stars* 
Scandal 
Vandal 

*One of the Seven Dorks* 
Dopey 
Grope-y 

"Cooking" 
You bake 
My...

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Cheapskate perfume soils sweat-strapped ambience,
Crippled, choked extractor fan despair,
Palms dripping moisture cling to greased pale hips,
Swaying on the shag-pile threading bare.
Urgent urge to strip her body down, take her there,
Mercy straining leash-growling agony;
The desecrate of...

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My date said, “I always order water on my dates.”
“Then I can save a couple of bucks, which is great.”
Alarm bells started to go off in my mind.
This match.com guy was either broke or cheap,...

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I love thunder storms and Mexican food
I love dogs and being in a good mood
I like learning new things
I used to wear my hair in bangs
It looked really crappy
But now my hair is really happy
I...

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can you open the floodgates



one coffee date
nothing ornate
why can't you relate
why do you skate
the subject of debate
I'm not cheapskate
I'll let you dictate
and narrate
stories of fate
I just want your plate
of poem's ruminate
and mysteries of predate
and of...

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