The cheesecake in the bakery I want to devour,
dag-gone my crumbling willpower!
It's cherry topping so high,
makes me want to cry.
I walk on past the candy aisle,
and gaze at the cereal shelves awhile.
Euell Gibbon's "sticks and pebbles"
Grape Nuts brand-
that kind of breakfast I cannot stand.
Give me a cupcake piled with frosting,
never mind, the "guilt calisthenics"
afterwards would be exhausting!
Stepping on the scale I hate,
I'd much prefer Kit Harington was my date,
yes, that's quite a fantasy,
so bugger off- I'm in my sixties!
My slim grandchildren eat like lumberjacks,
I gain easily, my metabolism is wack,
their ice cream consumption is legendary,
as I scowl eating yogurt and boysenberries.
If there is a monument somewhere for us
who try to lose weight,
before they engrave my name on, do hesitate,
as I'm hiding in my room and munching
in the dark,
peanut butter patties Girl Scout cookies-
but don't give me any snark!
Removing a friend, all because they are selfish.
Years later they appear "let's try to resolve this"
They set out these rules
and what they want to change,
they think it ended mutual...
bloody selfish still the same.
I say you are someone that I removed and out of view,
my thoughts haven't changed, and clearly you haven't too.
You're trying to manipulate and then control or use,
the same reason I buggered off, you haven't got a clue!!
You say to people we are now good,
that selfishness misunderstood,
never changed, lying, fake and false,
insane selfish and a bit delusional
Cooper came to visit a while last week,
Uninvited, unannounced – insolent!
I guess he’s here to stay, the cheeky sneak.
I asked him to leave but he’s still hell-bent
on staying, proclaiming he’s innocent!
Well, feathered friend, I’m keeping you at bay.
My feeder’s not hawk’s bait for easy prey.
Fly toward wilder feeding grounds to feast.
Use your hunter’s skill and fly far away.
Bugger off my song birds’ feeder, at least!
In 1917 the British and Commonwealth forces attacked
In the Ypres Salient in the corner of Belgium they hacked
Through the Third Battle of Ypres that had been raging away
With the battlefield turning to endless mud that would stay
As the rain fell at Poelkapelle at the Sherwood Foresters line
Was just holding on and waiting to be relieved at their time
In the mess that was the trench line a giant jumped in
And the Forester was startled in all of the battle din
He said, 'Who the hell are you? ' As the conversation begun
The giant replied, 'We're the Aussies to relieve you chum! '
The Forester said, 'I can't give you food, ammunition or keep the rain off'
The Aussie said, 'Never mind that, we don't need it, just bugger off.'
So the Foresters left the trench and started the journey back
Through the flooded battlefield and water filled shell holes in a hack
And they lost as many men drowned the slush and mud fields
As the Passchendaele battle continued the murder and bodies yield.
© Paul Warren Poetry
Blockage dis-ease fix
Red of blood of Crimson hue,
Begone blockage don't want you,
Breathe deeply on this one,
Orange hue it grows again,
Fills your world a subtle flame,
Tell blockage to bugger off blue,
Yellow light of destinys child,
Growing larger running wild,
the blockage buggers off too,
Green of Hearts the Forrest Glen,
Everywhere is oxygen,
Breathe deeply on it do!
Blue of sky the words will come,
Fill your sky with just this one,
Depart old blockage Blue,
Purple fuzz all seeing eye,
Breathe it grow it bye an bye,
Till white light you break through,
Astral Traveller it is you.
Don Johnson
Ancient technology Chakras, I use the orange one below my navel as an accelator, right hand on it, left hand on bad back or left kidney to fix same, and it works. I fixed broken veterbrae over a few days of doing just that. My Left kidney complains sometimes, so it gets more treatment
Bugger off Shingles!
Go away fleas! I don't need
Itchy skin disease!
Pickles Graham heard the woosh,
Amber liquid showered his moosch (face)
Startled by the sudden shower,
Aromatic pizzle power,
An Mooga Wilson going crook,
"What are you doing there Pickles,
At this time and hour?"
Empty piddle pot empowered,
Stop moaning theres no grounds ,
for a sook,
And now you've had your early shower,
A bath is all you took,
A sweeter smelling little flower,
So bugger off ole chook...
Don johnson
SEEMS Pickles was on dawn patrol in Dirranbandi
early in 1942, the Japanese were coming???
Green @ Soylent
So then the poor looked and saw,
Some tory bastards thinking,
Depression pills 4 all the dills,
Yer sex life aint fair dinkum,
Dumbing down of the savage clown,
Lobotomy oh so fearsome,
Brain dead is poor ole Fred,
What me worry, insincere-some,
Stay away from lobotomys hey,
Keep yer brain on auto pilot,
Depression bugger off today,
Deprive the green of Soylent ?
Don Johnson
San-Goanna Blue
Morning Halliwell are you right? {rhymer halliwell is 85}
or have your toes tucked up so tight,
are you with us or cantered through,
beyond the vale Saint Peters Zoo,
no brown snakes there tonight?
Or are you dancing an Irish jig,
With some well fed porker pig,
And playing snooker too,
Or bilious Kangaroo,
and on into the bloody night,
with Sand-Goannas what a sight
and lacy Monitors joined in too,
Brownie snake said bugger off Blue,
that Goanna just might bite...
Don Johnson
man he looks for erotic,
and love brings intensity too,
if she don't want your loving narcotic,
roll yer swag and bugger off Blue...
re: Shaz Cheesman 'Desire'
Don
angelic kisses from the missus,
no it wasn't she?
bludger had some spiky whiskas
awful bugger werent a 4 me,
watch out for dem shirt-tail lifters,
bugger off stop bugging me...
re: 'sweet nothings' Dave Williams...
good on ya mate.....Don
love is sweet, but incomplete,
if ya strike a gal
with whiskers neat:(
The sun set, the siren wailed
Furtively the Black moved, fearing to be jailed
For being without a pass after dark
In Johannesburg’s Joubert Park
A torch flashed in his face
Quickly establishing his race.
Too late to run
He was spun around
And pushed against a wall
By a big tall policeman.
Please Baas. Don’t call the van
I could be out of town quickly, if I ran.
Suddenly a push and a kick
“Run quick.”
Twenty years on
Apartheid’s gone
The policeman is now a civilian
Working in town.
The sun is setting slowly down
In a ball of crimson red.
Bringing dread
He must leave town quickly
Or he’ll be dead
With a knife in his back
Or a Kerrie on his head.
The City’s not safe after dark
For he has a Pass, printed by God
Embedded in his Page of Life
The DNA of being white.
In Joubert Park
A torch flashed in his face
Quickly establishing his race.
Too late to run
He was spun around
And pushed against the wall
By a big tall Black.
Please don’t kill me
I was the Policeman that let you go free
Suddenly a push and a kick
“Bugger off quick.”
Constance,
at the Dentist...
I used to chant, "It aint gonna hurt"
as the work was done...
self hypnosis, won...
and I felt nothing son.
which sounds like tripe,
ho hum...
but it worked for me,
and bloody faith it is the key,
when you be in pains chair, 4 one.
remember what i'm saying some:)
Don Johnson 3-aug-11
Yes Trace,
pain is bad when tooth is sore,
pull out the pliers to grip it more,
reef the bugger off the jaw,
then it will stop a paining.
yes sure:)
healed a bad one took 3 days,now good today....xo babe
Yes Frank when they hit the bloody nerve,
me concentration sort of swerves,
and Brown eyed Jane,
puts on her clothes and sort of fades away....
Aussie Taipan
To be a Taipan lethal quick
Deadliest land snake
Is my pick
Coffin head and longer fang
Watch out for the boomerang
9 foot long full of venom
Send spear thrower off to heaven
Brown snakes are pussy cats
Suck down an scoff big old rats
If I get to snap at you
Daisy pushing is your due
No me name aint ol Bevan
Bugger off or go to heaven
I am Taipan coffin head
hypno eyes a birdie said
does ya wanna be
deadly dud dud Dead
Don Johnson 12mm or 1/2 inch fangs hypodermic 60 mg venom.
This one worries me like the great white shark.
half inch hypodermic fangs...(brown snakes are pussys really.
get em with a shovel )...shot gun 4 taipan!!!
xo
Don
If I was Animal What Would I Be?
Tyranisauris
Tyranisauris Rex said bugger off Tex
This is my swamp today
Fair suck of the sav
Don’t stick our you neck
Or I’ll slap you silly hey
So he buggered off in a cloud of scales
Cos Rex he didn’t play
No love affair
Frustrated yeah
And then he went away
Don Johnson
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