Long Bugger off Poems

To a Public Prosecutor or a Judge of Mud*, Translation of Paul Verlaine’s : A un magistrat de boue*

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Talk to the Dead 
When you talk to the dead,
They give you advice,
Buzz on your finger,
lightly touch once or twice,

I told Trish about dead Joan's Goldfish,
In her fish pond swimming pool,
When a loud voice said...

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some ladies are annoyed 
because boys will be boys 
they call it toxic masculinity 
based on logic they think they see 
feeling there is a need 
to teach us boys 
how we should be 
and...

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Teacher tried to teach his class that Christmas isn’t boring
Half the kids weren’t listening and one or two were snoring
He picked out little Lucy, she seemed the one most liable
He made her prove she’d listened...

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NORMAN
Norman was a character a funny man its true,
He was a country copper, till the force said bugger off blue,
He was there in Mungindi when two Squatters piddled on plants,
Grabbed onto ole Carruthers and booted...

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It began as a day like any other, 
In the oceans deepest depths,
Until a Kiwi and an Ausi,
Decided to have a picnic at the bottom of the Ocean,
In the deepest part of the Mariana Trench.

They...

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The sun set, the siren wailed
Furtively the Black moved, fearing to be jailed
For being without a pass after dark
In Johannesburg’s Joubert Park

A torch flashed in his face
Quickly establishing his race.
Too late to run
He was spun...

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In 1917 the British and Commonwealth forces attacked
In the Ypres Salient in the corner of Belgium they hacked
Through the Third Battle of Ypres that had been raging away
With the battlefield turning to endless mud that...

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It's four thirty in the morning
Pidgeon's cooing, I'm still yawning
Bare feet the stairs I tread
Half asleep and fuzzy head
God! the sugars full of ants
Up my legs and in my pants
Slap! slap! with all my might
The...

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The cheesecake in the bakery I want to devour,
dag-gone my crumbling willpower!
It's cherry topping so high,
makes me want to cry.
I walk on past the candy aisle,
and gaze at the cereal shelves awhile.
Euell Gibbon's "sticks and...

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Blockage dis-ease fix

Red of blood of Crimson hue,
Begone blockage don't want you,
Breathe deeply on this one,
Orange hue it grows again,
Fills your world a subtle flame,
Tell blockage to bugger off blue,
Yellow light of destinys child,
Growing larger...

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Aussie Taipan
To be a Taipan lethal quick
Deadliest land snake
Is my pick
Coffin head and longer fang
Watch out for the boomerang

9 foot long full of venom
Send spear thrower off to heaven
Brown snakes are pussy cats
Suck down an...

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Constance,
at the Dentist...
I used to chant, "It aint gonna hurt" 
as the work was done...
self hypnosis, won...

and I felt nothing son.
which sounds like tripe,
ho hum...

but it worked for me,
and bloody faith it is the key,
when...

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Removing a friend, all because they are selfish.
Years later they appear "let's try to resolve this" 

They set out these rules 
and what they want to change, 
they think it ended mutual... 
bloody selfish still...

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Pickles Graham heard the woosh,
Amber liquid showered his moosch (face)
Startled by the sudden shower,
Aromatic pizzle power,
An Mooga Wilson going crook,
"What are you doing there Pickles,
At this time and hour?"
Empty piddle pot empowered,
Stop moaning theres no...

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San-Goanna Blue

Morning Halliwell are you right?  {rhymer halliwell is 85}
or have your toes tucked up so tight,
are you with us or cantered through,
beyond the vale Saint Peters Zoo,
no brown snakes there tonight?

Or are you...

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