Blimey Poems | Examples

I Got A Leg Up On This One

I have to go pee you see and my bladder is oh so tiny 
so won't you please hurry, no don't show your hiney
one leg up 
on leg down 
go ahead leak, then get out of my way, ... Oh Blimey!

Beep

Gone digital
begun/beginning
Networking with me-self
Can't find a full-stop
to stop

What yer looking at fish-face???
Yer know
since yesterday
I can't find me thumbs
falling feet first
in-ter sub-monkey skills
I need more,
more white widgets
and black toggles-
got the wobbles, a bit keyed-up

Mind knitting its own computer
flashes of clever clogs,
clumps of soft-drive
in me ear-holes
got no cookies cooking
just a blinking memory
Dot-dash-board doodling,
screening plasma for bugs
and sneezy-bits.
Me lights are ticking
think I'm thinking

Blimey, will you look at that!
I got a virtual nose to pick
feeling sick of it
even though
me lid is plastic

Beep...

The Peasant Suspense

In his weary hour
The legumes blossom on time;
Out of jocundity in honour
Of the beautiful turf
The drowsy peasant peak.

His weird blistered palm blimey,
 His nasty regalia wretched,
 He produces plenty and eats small
 He produces good and eats bad
 To the nobles he worked, 

The dark noxious pest 
Ravage and wrest 
The peasant-shaddock 
This tonic the dressy peasant
 A nocturnal haunter.

This extempore task
 Demoralizes his sinew
 His swansong 
Rhythmically envelops
 In serenity and drone.

Each rising smoke
Nervous him to move.
This previous eyes
That know no peace
By the smiling scorching sun.

At the dark hour
He puts on his clogs
And marched to the farm shack
There he finds the beetles
On the yam.

The great anxiety of the peasant
Is the bragging fire of winter
He fasted to lull it
He became gaunt
The sturdy peasant.

The time unknown: the blazing fire 
Burnt the bedecked bower 
The ranch house and the lettuce 
Barefooted staggered him
 To the farm with his straw hat
 And met the yelling ashes 
The cracking twigs of cocoa plant 
The peasant live no day 
Longer than that and slept

Jinn Or Jacks

I remember it well that October night
Meteors aligned tipped like candelabra lights
I'm sitting in my outhouse under a hakka lantern
Yea, in Guangxi Province, pending storm concerns

Kinda spooky feeling magnetic electric zipping
Need to lay of the 'Jacks' feels like I'm tripping
It's like a potion to me, it brings me to likes edge
Thankfully the 'Moor' in me, saves me from the ledge

Wow, crash boom bang, thunder clap new, mun!
Blimey, bloody broom noisy, just like my neighbour
Erratic lightning laylines break open Eastern skies
Suddenly a shadow in the corner, and I ff'ing swore!

My legs aren't even moving but this misty fog lures I
Bleary eyes focusing at, at, this Succubus, she
On the Radio 'Wake me I am dreaming' by the 'Love Affair'
Minds guising disguising, just what is 'Jacks' streaming

I awake in the morn, wondering what went the night before
Elves, Goblins, Fairies or could it be the Jinn Genie!
Blimey if I was worth my weight in salt, I'd go to church
But if I told this story when younger, I'd sure have got the birch.

My Mate Jericho Gave Lsd To Zebrafish

We were at a children's party
He told me about his ukulele 
When he played in front of audiences
People would shout out, "Did it shrink?"

He worked as a chemistry teacher
To get this going he explained 
A study he did with his students
In primary school

The comparative neuroanatomy and 
Neurochemistry of zebrafish CNS systems of 
Relevance to human neuropsychiatric diseases
Despite differences in the development of the telencephaion

I said, "Blimey"
He said "Yeah"
We high-fived and grabbed another beer
As he walked to the kitchen

I high-fived myself
I fist-bumped a Minion stuffed toy
Sat on the sofa
I was pleased with my mental well-being

Blimey

Fair to ing middlin!
Tuesday night shepherds pie?
2nd best. 
Hornet's nest.
Honest apple? 
In your eye.

Bird Table Fable

Whenever I’m able I raid the bird table
I snap up some mealworms and go
The nearby house owner a bad tempered moaner
Berates me because I’m a crow

That snotty Rob Robin just sits there bob bobbing 
And snaffles as much as he can
He’d better stop soon he’s the size of the moon
But this doesn't bother the man

Those flashy goldfinches are only five inches
But make a cacophonous sound
Like lambs to the slaughter they come down for water 
But I’ve called the sparrow-hawk round

But hey what’s point of a crow having brains 
If not to get ill gotten gains 
Raiding that fella’s bird table is fun
Caw blimey... he’s got a big gun!



24 May 2021
Contest: Personification poem 150
Sponsor: Caren Krutsinger

Blimey

Donald Trump - bankrupt with no sense -
Now blames everything on Pence
Trump looted our vault
But its not his fault
That everyone else is so dense!

Cocktail Sticks

I dunno who decided that cheese should have resided 
With bits of pineapple upon a stick
I’d have hit him with a truncheon when he said a pickled onion
Would top it off: I fear he was quite sick

But here I stand with Marty, at this arty farty party
He’s eyeing up a new potential date
In truth, she’s bloody pretty, but, blimey, it’s a pity 
Pineapple, cheese and onion on her plate

When a kiss tastes of cheese, it ain’t gonna please
And onion breath means instant death
To hopes of romance at the valentine’s dance
And yet she says Hi, my names Beth

They head for the floor where they do little more
Than latch onto each other’s face
So I stand here jealous, was I over zealous
When I chose to have the fish paste

My dad’s dancing dirty, the girl’s about thirty
Looks like they’re gonna be smooching till late
I check out their table as best as I am able
Onion, pineapple and cheese on her plate 

So it seems that a party snack, pungent or squiffy
Does not preclude romance from you
If it stinks like cow splatter, it just doesn’t matter
So long as you’ve eaten It too



24 December 2020
Contest: Party Folk
Sponsor: Julia Ward

halloween diner

ghost waiter blimey dondo

went haunting in a condo

rushing a flurry

with pot of curry

hope sir you like potato.

Yea, Those Seeds

In the post I received some seeds
Now planted, I've done the deed
In a few weeks they did grow
Blimey they ain't very slow
They're now as tall as some reeds

They now have me a little concerned
Impressed in bloom they've now earned
But what's that sweet smell
It sure ain't no Bluebell 
All previous is totally adjourned

Canadian Winters

Sunshine all day, has the world gone mad
Blimey it's Canada, where summer's a fad
Four months long
Seems like two then gone
Aside from that, the best since I was a lad

The Willful Wind

The Willful Wind

Ah, the wind in the trees! 
Bends lovingly to hug my knees.
And the whoosh of their leaves, 
brings back multitudinous memories.

Of  being sixteen on the back
of a hog, 
And riding with a biker gang. 
Clutching my boyfriend's back 
so hard, 
I thought it might crack.

Or high winds in Chicago, in
winter, so fierce.
My daughter, just two, and oh 
so tiny! 
Was nearly blown across icy 
Michigan Avenue. Blimey! 

In those heavy downpours in 
San Francisco...good Lord! 
That not so kind wind contorted 
my umbrella like a pretzel! 

On hot summer nights, dear wind, 
is always a loving delight.
Blowing the heat of the day away 
from all of us.
Creating a wondrous, starry, 
cool California night! 

Ah, wind, with a mind of its own.
On that you can count! 
I salute your freedom, bowing to 
no man and cannot be bought.
Free of no one, and going
wherever you ought.
Without one judgemental thought! 




    December 22, 2019

The Wilfull Wind

~A Salute to Wind~

Ah, the wind in the trees!
Bends lovingly about to hug my knees.
And the whoosh of their leaves,
brings back multitudinous memories.

Of  being sixteen on the back
of a hog,
And riding with a biker gang. 
Clutching my boyfriend's strong back
so hard, I thought it might crack.

Or high winds in Chicago, their Arctic
winter, so fierce.
My daughter, just two, and oh so tiny!
Was nearly blown across icy Michigan 
Avenue, blimey!

In those heavy downpours in San Francisco, 
good Lord!
That not so kind wind contorted my giant 
umbrella like a pretzel!

On hot summer nights, dear wind, is always 
a loving delight.
Blowing the heat of the day away from 
all of us.
Creating a wondrous, starry, cool California 
night!

Ah, wind, with a mind of it own.
On that you can count!
I salute your freedom, bowing to no man and 
cannot be bought.
Free to be fully you and going whence yoou 
ought.
Without one judgemental thought!




August 21, 2019

I

Is it I or is it me?
I’m a little confused you see!
I can be part of us, or they, 
Or we, who’s to say?
I can be referred to as one,
Not much fun!
What about thee?
Is that still me?
Then again, thou, 
Not right somehow.
Some refer to I as dude,
That’s just crude
Or even mate,
Not great.
If you’re a girl then it’s gal,
For a boy it’s pal.
In certain cases, Miss or Mister,
That could just be sinister!
Some say, ‘hey you,’
Luckily only a few.
For some it’s ‘what’s a name’?
Such a shame.
Some terms are not so nice,
Might come at a price!
Some say darling or love,
Heaven’s above.
Worse still chuck,
That’s bad luck.
I’ve even heard blue or slim,
Blimey that’s grim.
If it’s kiddo,
Then you’ve yet to grow.
Some say he or she,
That’s obviously not me.
I it has to be,
Then for sure I know it’s me.

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