Long Blimey Poems

Au revoir oh perilous freedom...

Since pledging my troth
to the missus July 25th, 1996
after the comma error
punctuated mein kampf with disequilibrium.

Ever since the notions
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
coalesced within the mindscape
attributed to one
or more...

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Once pawn a time...

About four plus weeks after
frazzling fiasco from friggin fraudsters
white knight still mourns swindled money
Lynne Costello Senior Civil Investigator
(assistant to Philadelphia attorney general)
unable to recoup forfeited funds.

While holed up in castle keep,
(albeit fetchodit...

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Shame and guilt sabotaged mine healthy growth...

and let yours truly not forget emasculation
that prickly emotional immobilization
whereby these lovely bones 
subject courtesy senescence 
upon cremation reduced to obliteration.

Inching closer to mortality
linkedin with concomitant
subtle deterioration of body...

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Neigh say being  corralled & cult shod 

"Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis"
translation = thus always I 
bring death to tyrants.”

Above the fray of twittering, 
squabbling, and madding crowds,
an arrogantly belligerent creature deified, 
yet vilified...

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Adolescent infatuations...never consummated

Greetings reader from a cross between an aging seventy inch long (ringing ding dong) haired pencil necked geek and a Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe; meaning yours truly actually a virtually married Pennsylvania man,...

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Once upon a time in the lands from the north, south, east to west    
Navigating on the cold white sands formed of sugar and ice       ...

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Malevolent maverick mailer-daemon...
wrought maximum monetary mayhem
within mein kampf

Incomprehensible inhumane
inquisitorial imp incarnate injudiciously,
ineffably, indescribably inflicted
inxs inexorable insidious injury.

Snake charmer also known
in the underworld as Harvey Specter
subliminally slithered,
and deftly insinuated himself
into body electric of yours truly
forever remotely...

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While on the topic 
of blood kith and kin,
I relate another 
fabricated poem about 
blimey bloke of a fisherman. 

Trawl tale of a fictitious seaman told to ye...

Courtesy webbed whirled wide net wit
cursing thwarted life,...

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After beguiling charisma,
damnable excoriations fixedly,
gamely, horribly, insult jesting,
kibitzing, loosely mindless nattering,

outlandish pablum, quintessentially
representing senseless trumpeting,
unswervingly vapid wordy
X-DOUBLE-MINUS
yawping zest.

If ye did not already guess from thee 
above blimey claptrap, Das English flap
doodle glib human incorporates jokingly,
kookily,...

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Second shingles shot successful... 
slight prick, but otherwise... positive pitch
re: without a hitch
the first innoculation approximately 
five months prior also nary glitch.

Preemptive needling measure
regarding getting fully
immunized at CVS
(Zieglerville, Pennsylvania)13:08
military time May First
2020 bruised left arm...

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Courtesy of Marx (albeit Zeppo, Harpo, Groucho, and Chico) 
whose acts brought generations of laughter to Vaudeville and 
then the Silver Screen adlibbed, linkedin, and ransacked skits 
zoid material Bing very loosely based on writings...

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All over pure and white, all over plain and bright,
we're inborn peace embracers, true tranquility tracers.
All the time abstaining from vileness, violence and violation,
we've lived our self-disciplined lives generation after generation. 

Sometimes nightmare befalls more...

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Inspection Time 2018!

Understandable dear reader, 
     how this scribe bull lime
me bloke omitted mention of 
     one bedroom flat as
reason nigh rote this rhyme

Ma faux pas faw...

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While attempting going to sleep after midnight...

December 27th, 2023,
the missus pounded mine posterior
(she played paddywhack 
on me blimey buttucks)
not only causing contusion, 
but flaying percussive rumpus, 
where the wild things are
found yours truly feeling
like a...

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There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair
Pamper and powder my sweet derrière,
Arrive at the door, all done up to impress.....
Oh man, I forgot! Invite said “fancy dress”!

Pete and Sue are here, seems...

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Who Beside This Atheist Doth "say" Thar Haint No Angels?

Two fatal head on
     deadly automobile accidents
     in quick succession at 
     Zieglerville, Pennsylvania...

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"Roll on tonight my mates are coming round
  For a few cold beers and some rocking sounds
  Time is drawing near, as I hear a knock at the door
  Blimey! at...

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Methinks muss elf akin to a cold prickly...

being analogous to a
limp biscuit viz
wussy wonky willy,
yet back in the day
rolling in hay worm
may at large cavorted
frolicked, and idealized
as a warm fuzzy.

Though aforementioned title
slightly risqué and silly,
yours...

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Not advertising that flippant flick. I just want to know
where my blooming flivver is. It ruffles my feathers no
end to find out, when exiting the embassy,
that my buggy's whereabouts are a mystery.

I must meet Sherry...

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March 10, 2019 - Daylight Saving Time Starts

The homey nimble storied wisdom of
Benjamin Franklin still
admired during hour time,
especially noteworthy, for slime
molds, the second Sunday of March,
when theft linkedin with

(Ides say) most innocuous crime
re: stealth of...

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master bait catching fear
some skipper known in whirled wide webbed 
     under water world, 
     cuz rumor did hear
auld his death defying exploits infiltrated 

  ...

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“Can you smell something burning,” Dad frowned and I said “Yeah.”
It had the smell of cooking meat, as well as burning hair,
Dad stopped the truck, lifted the bonnet… “Blimey look at that!”
Something was mangled by...

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Inspection Time 2018!

Dum...dum...dum...dum...DUH -
     anxiety shot thru stratosphere upon
     good news notification aboot
a fortnight from this last
     Friday of August tooth

  ...

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The day began as most all do with my eye's  watching and adoring you, the break of dawn,
first light of morn, today a beautiful new word was born 'Lupercalia'

The night before we had laid...

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Two grizzled master sergeants repaired to the NCO Club to cry in their beer.
Their jawing invariably turned to discussing the 'old army' of yesteryear.
They grew up in the 'brown shoe' army and of it they...

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