Funny Bible Poems | Examples
These Funny Bible poems are examples of Bible poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Bible Funny poems written by international poets.
Sleepless Nights,
I have trouble at night and don't sleep very well.
The doctor gave me,
funny colored little pills.
Life gave me,
counting sheep one by one.
The bible gave me,
counting my blessings one by one.
WOW!!!
counting blessings really works.
When I reminded her that the Bible does tell
to love not only yourself, but your neighbor as well,
she said, "But Mister Tabor,
you're not my neighbor,
so, could you just kindly go to hell?"
Now that's funny
but I won
I bet real money
on 2 minutes
I won 200 bucks
a few bottles of fine wine
for sure
fermented in wood caskets
I only hang
with poets with fine rhymes
not rotten wood
nor stale old bitter minds
committing 19 petty crimes
One day I fell ill and apparently died.
My sisters were grieved, one found Jesus and cried,
"If only lord you'd been here this day
Our brother, your friend would have not passed away!"
In empathy and love Jesus tears weren't spared
And all could discern just how deeply he cared.
After a prayer to his father all heard Jesus shout
With a voice of authority, "Lazarus, come out!"
I awakened quite startled for I came to find
I was bandaged up like a corpse, I hadn't gone blind!
A funny, yet obscure memory to have...
But it gives Mary, Martha and myself a good laugh!
I’m walking with Missy,
The sun in my face.
I may call it Bethel;
The Lord’s in this place.
When we go a-walking,
He’s here by my side,
And I can’t escape him;
I know, ‘cuz I’ve tried.
When I was a young man,
To Joppa, I went.
It wasn’t a whale that
The good Lord then sent;
He gave me a shovel
To dig my own pit
and built me a ladder
to climb out of it.
Appears that the stories
Of Scripture are true;
You don’t have to look hard
To find one ‘bout you.
It’s sort of amazing;
it’s funny, you know.
It seems when we read them,
Our faith’s sure to grow.
’Tis said nothing changes
Here under the sun.
Yes, God’s seen it all,
He’s never outdone.
So eat and be merry,
The sun in your face.
Find joy here in Bethel;
The Lord’s in this place.
The Easter Butt, the Easter Butt
Put Away Your Booze and Smut
Kiss your Spouse and Hug your Mutt
And Motorboat the Easter Butt.
Thong Contest
Goliath’s wife couldn’t go on
She felt like she’d married King Kong
Young David got laid
Right after he’d made
A catapult out of her thong
29 December 2018
For: Tania Kitchin’s
Bawdy Limerick Contest
calling from the bush
to a stuttering Moses
"H-h-h-ere I a-am," he said
and the voice replied:
"I have a mission for ya,
hope you like manna."
Written April 4th, 2016
For the Senryu on Angels Contest Hosted by Marvin Celestial
Keep love in your heart and do not fall apart
Keep wisdom in your heart and ask Bart
Keep power in your heart and go to K-mart
Keep spirit in your heart and go and get the merit
1. Walls of Jericho:
Giddy
City
2. Moses:
Hopper
Stopper
3. The Egyptians:
Water
Fodder
4. Jael:
Hammer
Slammer
5. Sampson:
Pillar
Killer
6. Laban:
Fuzzin'
Cousin
References:
1. Joshua 6:20
2. Exodus 10:17-19
3. Exodus 14:28
4. Judges 4:21
5. Judges 16:29-30
6. Genesis 31:41
Written July 2d and 3d, 2013
When Noah gathered creatures pair by pair
In a barge ready to face the rough storm
Giraffe and wife joined a sail to nowhere;
As waters growled high, till moon grew deformed
With nothing to frolic with, amidst the flood
Giraffes delighted in hush of ashen dark
Mating frequently on arc's trodden halls.
New animals born, how can they embark
And others followed despite bold rainfalls
The Lord shocked, watching full procreation
Said He, “ I forgot this extra supply
Count the babes ,while I slow the sea’s motion,
Why did I say, go forth and multiply?”
..................
For Robert Heemstra
and Poetess Darkly's Lessons In Life
Are Funny Contest
by nette onclaud