Best Viral Poems
like a selfie
that wasn’t taken
I’m the guy in the street
I know
you’re captioning me
from your side of the road
and the shops
with their massive eyes
are making me too viral
Thoughts
and
feelings
on a
downward
spiral,
now
that's
what's
truly,
going
viral
Cheater into the bottle,
His wife loved him so much ,
One day she woke up and found his husband
into the bottle near the main door.
She was so confused ,
She could not bottle up that terrible situation .
She took the bottle to the wizard ,
She was told that her husband had an affair with the wife of a big witch and he ended up bewitching him.
So confused,
She was told to bring a living lion with a bottle of wine to be helped out.
That was her hard EXAM,
She went to a medium with the same bottle, and she was told to bring the head of an albino and the bottle of wisky.
Very confused,
She went to a prophet with her husband in bottle,
she was told to bring some olive oil in the bottle.
The prophet prayed , the bottle broke ,the cheater came back and the big witch appear with the bottle filling blood.
Prophet continue praying in the name of Christ Jesus,
the big witch collapsed and died.
Cheater confessed,
," forgive me my wife , I will not cheat again."
It was time for her to caugh out what she bottled for many years.
" at least you received what you were looking for many years behind married women.
The payment for your mistakes.
What next , may be they will put you into the calabash
for some days again.
Cheating is a small world. "
Confessing again,
" forgive me , I won't cheat again my wife.
Devil lied to me."
He was forgiven and they continue to live in peace.
Written February 10 /2020
By Alfonso Warally Ngengethe Mussabwa Chris
Message: Cheating is so dangerous,
As some men and women lost their lives in cheating.
"There is payement of INFIDELITY"
Well boys and girls, the staff here at Lim’rik Flats is very pleased to announce the first ever GIGGLE-OF-THE-DAY award goes to:
(insert drum roll, ticking tock, annoying quasi-music and extremely annoying pause like they do on Dancing With the Stars)
WAIT!
First we have to explain. We’ve handed out “best chuckle of the day,”
“best guffaw so far today,” and “splattered coffee all over the ‘puter screen” comments for quite some time.
When we read: A Few Things That Please Me Now by Denis Barter, we commented: “Best giggles of the day.” This is a very gigglish light-hearted poem.
Then we got sparked to initiate a “giggle-of-the-day award”
(see: lim’rik flats giggle-of-the-day award by Lim’rik Flats).
guess what — SOUPTANEOUS COMBUSTION HAPPENED!!!
Three super soupers simultaneously created a “giggle-of-the-day challenge!” (credit Tim Smith for the challenge concept)
Is that cool or what?
In addition to Denis’s fine poem, I encourage y’all to read:
GOTD: DAN THE MAN by Alexis Y.
GOTD BAWDY LIMERICK WHAT A WHOPPER by Jan Allison
GOTD - ROUND ONE by Tim Smith
We’ve decided to award four GOTD’s in honor of an amazing response to our call for MORE SILLIES ON THE SOUP!!!
So, all four poems/poets listed are winners of GOTD’s for 11/27/16.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU DEELIGHTFULLY SILLY POETERS!!!
Oh, btw, the lim’rik flats rules committee is in session (watta ruckus). Some think there should be more than one award. Some, of course, are saying it is NOT FAIR to have four winners. Some want “NA” as another category (that ain’t gonna happen)
Well pooh on committees! The proprietor of Lim’rik Flats will continue to award GOTD any way he dang well pleases!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE visit these funny PO’s and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write some funny PO’s and post ‘em on the soup.
I am an African,
Not because of my colour skin,
Not because of my faith in Jesus Christ,
Not because of my education,
Not because of eating African,
Food day and night,
Not because I speak African languages.
I am an African,
Not because of my position.
Not because of my African surname.
Not because it is my birthplace,
Not because I married a beautiful,
African queen.
I am an African,
Because I love Africa,
Because I love Africans.
Because I have a vision to develop Africa,
Because I promote the African Union,
Because I contribute to open eyes of
Africans,
Because I teach Africans the history of glory
And dignity.
Because I am enlightening Africans mind and
Thoughts.
I am an African forever and ever.
By Alfonso Warally Ngengethe Mussabwa Chris
Pieces of me course through your veins.
I fog your thoughts.
I cause your pains.
I block the drains.
I pool within you, stagnant.
You break my surface and then,
only then do you see how toxic you are,
we are.
We travel so far,
plagues in the jetstream,
bugs in the mainframe,
a glitch,
a worldwide *****,
an unscratchable itch.
We are caught,
like an insect,
trapped beneath a glass,
on a window,
nowhere to hide,
all for the best,
all for scrutiny,
to be examined,
under the microscope,
under the hammer,
under the glare,
and for a minute there...
...I lost myself.
The opposite of optimistic
Win/Win love
is not pessimistic
Lose/Win risk
but nihilistic
Lose/Lose geno/eco-cide.
This new virus is a party,
A party island wide.
From town to town, quarantine.
Come in,
You won't miss the luxury you had abroad,
It's complete with food to make your mouth water.
This new virus is a party,
It's complete with free wi-fi.
Forget your burning fever,
You're being well cared for,
Complete with your favourite TV channel.
Come in,
If you do, you'll feel richer than a king,
It's complete with staff waiting on your every need.
This new virus is a party,
It's complete with free wifi.
I don't know why you ever leave,
But I guess you felt sorry for us,
So did you come to bring us this party?
Come in,
You can dance all night in a cocoon of a room,
Free of others weird glances and jesting laughs,
This new virus is a party,
A party island wide.
From town to town, quarantine.
* I simply wish those idiots who run away from quarantine to find their brains and get themselves cured at least, if they don't think of others. I'm sorry to give such a picture about Srilankans, but this is purely what I feel.
A mask hides what is to happen next
all dark stair steps, will future be vexed?
Unknown disease, please touch me not
a nimble mind sits, fearful in distraught.
Flux of arduous mist, in smoke of doubt
dread enslaved bodies, banned going out.
Unstable present, put in bottomless holes
forgotten dreams, crushed beneath soles.
Hopes galore, will they drown in ocean?
desert of thirst, catastrophic commotion.
Puppet show on, lurking shadows behind,
coffins wait in bedside, death so unkind.
Embracing a bedlam, void of uncertain path
Can ventilators douse flames of viral wrath?
Rumbling in darkness, no sleep in our eyes
O power of Lord, ...when will the sun rise?
31st March ,2020
In despair and on lockdown
A city is turned into a one horse town
Its people are on the frontline to save the Earth
As all of humanity holds its breathe
Flights canceled, fright heightened
Travelers hustled, prayers recited
Somewhere a hero is taking a risk by treating the infected
A hero is at the borderlines having people inspected
A hero with no name, is taking a bullet for billions across the world
A bullet they can’t see, hear, touch or smell
Their sacrifice a reminder that wherever you come from
The earth is one shared home
The neurogenesis is taking place,and it is taking place beyond the speed of light where "TIME STOPS"!!!"Computers need to "Obey" Their "Creator"and he is the one who created "The Universe"and all of mankind! In pixels,bits,and bytes will there be an alogarithm fight every day ,and every night?Time stops at the speed of light,and "The Alogaithm Manipulator",will be on duty every day and every night to make things right in this "Eternal Fight"!Neurogenisis is active both day and night,and does not stop at the speed of light! Neurogenesis goes on into "The Space",beyond "Light"! The chemical connections between the "Synapse",and Dentrites are making new connections in the "Brain"beyond the speed of "Light": "Time Stopped",but "The Dendrites,and The Synapsis"are alright as they make new connections beyond "Time and The Speed of Light"!Brainology,Neurology,and Psychology found a way to go beyond"The Speed of Light". Psychogenisis is prove in this poem,and that should help me ,you,and everything,and everyone under GOD"S Sun! That is fun! Psychoneuroimmunology transforms the "synapse ,synapsis,and the dendrites into products that reach beyond speed and light! Eternity is where these products reach,and that is alright as Richard Restak helps us see another "Light" that time cannot stop at the speed of light!!!! We may be able to prove "Physics to be a science that needs to see "MORE""LIGHT"!
My retirement statement just came to me
Looks like I’m working till I’m eighty- three
My monies all gone
It didn’t take long
Vanished in a viral economy
When six-seven shows—
on pages or when counting—
school children erupt
'six-seven' its 'six-seven'
feigning, pumping, hands juggling.
It's an inside joke
meaningless but magical
teachers lose the room—
order slipping through their hands
dropping every dangling ball.
Nothing to decode,
no truth, no cause to decry—
just the spark of fun
a chant for troupe belonging
rebellion wrapped in giggles.
Written by Gail R DeBole
On September 18, 2021
Updated on September 20, 2021
Likes are nice,
But Retweets are sweet.
Faves are all the rave,
But Retweets are hard to beat.
(Tribute to the writing style of American poet Ogden Nash and his poem "Reflections on Ice Breaking" written in the year 1931.)
There’s a picture going around of a man who’s from our city
he’s got his Johnson out and my gosh it is a biggie
the girls have shared it with all the girls it’s gone viral so I’m told
my mate said laughing at me with this picture he did hold
the man in this photograph had his hands over his face
to hide his true identity and forever go untraced
but my mate said to me he knows exactly who it is
after he had noticed things the other people missed
he laughed and he said Trimmer mate I know that man is you
I said how do you know it’s me the face is out of view
the room that man is in has provided many clues
your bag is on the floor with your work shirt and your shoes
See the side next to the bed all of those items belong to you
there’s your backi there’s your lighter and the rizla that you use
and next to it your phone and that wallet like yours blue
and though the face is blocked that is your hair poking through
and that’s why I am more than sure your Johnson is on view
I said bloody hell it is as well I remember when she took it
if I took pics like that they’d lock me up and call me crooked
you said before it’s gone viral but they don’t know who it is
I said you tell em straight it’s Trim and he hasn’t got a misses
and as I starred at this picture they shouted are you gay Trim
my mate laughed out and shouted back the picture is of him
you’d think I’d be embarrassed but I’m far beyond what’s average
and as the girls were loving it things worked to my advantage
I was filled with pride knowing my Johnson had gone viral
and no man is embarrassed when he’s carrying an eyeful
Why did I cover my face
how glorious it is
she didn’t ask permission
lock men up for doing this
Sexism ay, what women get away with,
lock men up in cages labelled as a pig