Best Vegan Poems

Last night my friends, they invited me to dinner,
They picked the place, they said it was a winner.
I searched the menu for, no egg, dairy, or meat.
O Boy, I thought, what in the world will I eat?

The waitress came over with a big old smile,
I...

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I want to be a vegan
I want to give up meat
I want hemp DM's to wear upon my feet
No more burgers, sausages and no more lamb kebab
No more chicken drumsticks gotta fight the flab
Mushroom for me now, mushroom instead of steak
Instead of meat pie I'm...

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Sonnet for a Vegan

No, No, No I won’t eat meat,
Breeding Animals to slaughter and eat.
Lambs, Chickens, Turkey and Cow,
Killing for food seems wrong somehow.

We treated him well, Farmer said
Lamb was 8 months before stunned dead.
Nice bit of Veal only 12 weeks old,
Beautiful and tender the...

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"Vegan" 

The blaise of red
hits the butcher’s paper
like molten crayon
thick and clumpy
perhaps there's some

truth? 

in that old
saying;
a watery grave 
the write;
it’s child’s play.
all that said, 
and done,
dead meat 
inside a bellyfull
grows rancid

the mind turns 
verdant woodland green 
the write not cut
turns positively pure

let’s say
Vegan 

(LadyLabyrinth...

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Eugenie Smog was a Vegan,
Who lived on seaweed and rice.
But craved a plate of fried chicken;
Oh Yummy, I bet that tastes nice....

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No one likes dead lettuce
It must be crisp and cool
And dousing wounds with vinegar
Is certainly not cruel!

For Vegans can not see
Why lettuce choose to be
On a different frequency
Than Donald Trump might be

A salad will pass away
Shivering with cold today
Disgusted Vegans will say,
"I never heard lettuce...

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a hardly morbid paper mache crane full 
of jolly rancher candies.

 blindfolded children wildly
 swinging bats on the backporch.

the wise sit back and drink
 diet shasta grapefruit soda.

few understood the sky to be sheathed
 in paper constantly burning.

 such an exquisite sacrifice...

inside in the livingroom...

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I want to eat
cheesy down home goodness 
I want to be mozzarella vegan great 
to eat the best flavors right off 
a non-dairy plate 

but, honest finance 
has told me so 
I will never know 
vegan in this price range

I could stretch out my dough...

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I bought you the vegan shoes, 
  
but you still got pissed 
  
because I told you makeup 
  
was made of whale blubber. 
  
I was sad when you broke up 
  
with me, but it makes a ...

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I'm a Tree Huggin', Soy Chuggin',
I won't eat no meat
I'm a vegan of convenience,
Still, there's leather on my feet
I don't believe in lots of things
I'll protest and attack
But you won't find me out in front
'Cause I'll be in the back
I give money to my causes
Save...

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If I thought you’d risk it,
I’d offer you brisket,
but since you’re a vegan,
unlike Chrissy Teigen,
would sooner be dead,
here, how ‘bout a Triscuit instead?...

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I ordered my whole gourmet restaurant staff
to serve my pals Molly and Max Giraffe
I humbly have to admit
the vegan meal was a hit
The tall order sparked a jaffy good laugh

...

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bijou, tiny, miniature, mini 
small and little ego of ones' self
unseen isolation of bondage
makes I (me) grow 
ever so increasingly cruel, savage, and mean 
i do believe i am not 
vegan anymore in my heart  
for i want the taste of bloody freedom 
that...

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A big meat eater in Tampa Bay
became a vegan for his fiancé
But his pug feels forsaken
with his bland tofu bacon
So he’s calling the S.P.C.A...

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Every law enforcement official out on patrol,
was desperate to capture The Vegan Cannibal,
so named from a note left with one of its victims,
leading to a series of murders that terrified every vegan.
It read, "I am a cannibal who does my best to eat healthy, 
and...

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