Best Vegan Poems
Last night my friends, they invited me to dinner,
They picked the place, they said it was a winner.
I searched the menu for, no egg, dairy, or meat.
O Boy, I thought, what in the world will I eat?
The waitress came over with a big old smile,
I told her, I’m vegan, this may take a while.
We are known for our chicken, she said quite proudly.
I bit my tongue, and did not respond too loudly.
Chicken is meat, I said calmly with a grin,
Oh, but we have fish… yep, she did it again.
No thank you, I said. I’ll just have a potato,
And if it's not too much trouble, please throw in a tomato.
The food arrived, and my friends started to stare,
Is that all you’re going to eat? They asked with such flair.
I just smiled but I thought, What is the big deal?
Can I not just enjoy a cruelty free meal?
-Mary Waldeck
I want to be a vegan
I want to give up meat
I want hemp DM's to wear upon my feet
No more burgers, sausages and no more lamb kebab
No more chicken drumsticks gotta fight the flab
Mushroom for me now, mushroom instead of steak
Instead of meat pie I'm gonna have a cake
A vegan cake mind, without milk or eggs
I won't be buying my cake from Cooplands or Gregg's
I think I might still do a little bit of fish
But I'll avoid putting offal on my dish
I want to be a vegan
I want to give up meat
I want to revolutionise the food that I eat
Fruit and veg is better for you than eating a cow
Sausage made from Quorn is healthier than a sow
let the little lamb live a much fuller life
Instead of carving it up young with a carving knife
I feel for the bird, I feel for the chicken
The way it's kept in cages, leaves me quite sicken
You get all the good stuff from nuts, berries and different types of seeds
You can even find it in flowers, nettles and other random weeds
I want to be a vegan I want to give up meat
Stop the polluting cattle grazing and grow more wheat!
Sonnet for a Vegan
No, No, No I won’t eat meat,
Breeding Animals to slaughter and eat.
Lambs, Chickens, Turkey and Cow,
Killing for food seems wrong somehow.
We treated him well, Farmer said
Lamb was 8 months before stunned dead.
Nice bit of Veal only 12 weeks old,
Beautiful and tender the Butcher sold.
Now I’m in a minority, under 2 percent,
Just another oddball with feelings to vent.
Nut Roast my treat on Christmas Day,
Does God eat meat, I’ll ask him when I pray.
So, No, No I won’t eat meat,
Save the young Lamb, so he might bleat.
Spare a thought for the vegan vampire
Loving all creatures is his only desire
Despised by kith and kin
He'll bravely cop it on the chin
Deserves love but only gets their ire.
Spare a thought for the vegan vampire
Wishing to raise his consciousness higher
He prefers lentils
Over eating entrails
As they stop his passions from catching fire.
"Vegan"
The blaise of red
hits the butcher’s paper
like molten crayon
thick and clumpy
perhaps there's some
truth?
in that old
saying;
a watery grave
the write;
it’s child’s play.
all that said,
and done,
dead meat
inside a bellyfull
grows rancid
the mind turns
verdant woodland green
the write not cut
turns positively pure
let’s say
Vegan
(LadyLabyrinth / 2023)
"Are their heads off?"
shouted the Queen.
"Their heads are gone,
if it please you, your Majesty!"
Eugenie Smog was a Vegan,
Who lived on seaweed and rice.
But craved a plate of fried chicken;
Oh Yummy, I bet that tastes nice.
No one likes dead lettuce
It must be crisp and cool
And dousing wounds with vinegar
Is certainly not cruel!
For Vegans can not see
Why lettuce choose to be
On a different frequency
Than Donald Trump might be
A salad will pass away
Shivering with cold today
Disgusted Vegans will say,
"I never heard lettuce pray"
a hardly morbid paper mache crane full
of jolly rancher candies.
blindfolded children wildly
swinging bats on the backporch.
the wise sit back and drink
diet shasta grapefruit soda.
few understood the sky to be sheathed
in paper constantly burning.
such an exquisite sacrifice...
inside in the livingroom an old victorian
couch smells of mouthballs and
aged sunshine.
inanimately standing there in its
four legged stance.
objects like this caused many to sin in
the wildernesses of sinai.
some gathered perspective
others did not.
burst goes the belly of a
brightly colored papyrus crane.
busy goes the little fingers picking
up the candies tumbling out.
Big fangs
Strong claws
Sharp hooves
Men's guns
Instruments of species survival
Let's hope for a vegan revival.
I hold you.
And bite you.
You drip down my chin..
I really just didn't know
Where to begin
My teeth as they sink
Through the layers of joy
Encouraged by lentil
Enraptured by soy
There are moments and layers
In life we should cherish;
None ever so blissful
As encountering relish
Or the pickly thing
Or the goo that's so cheesy
Yet it's not, we're OK
My conscience still frees me
For a burger is life.
With it's multiple facets
And the creatures we love..
Well, they're more than just assets
So dive in and be free
To celebrate goodness
Free from harm or distress
Something wholesome and bloodless
Your body will thank you
The planet will send
A sigh of relief
To some four legged friend
We can all live together
Without fear or distressing
For a burger is life.
It's the truth. And no messing.
Jinjagoliath
30th July 2023
I want to eat
cheesy down home goodness
I want to be mozzarella vegan great
to eat the best flavors right off
a non-dairy plate
but, honest finance
has told me so
I will never know
vegan in this price range
I could stretch out my dough
I could save up multitudes of pennies
but let's face it
I will just have to
let the dream go
seventy-seven dollars
for vegan cheese
I guess sadly
vegan isn't for me
Every law enforcement official out on patrol,
was desperate to capture The Vegan Cannibal,
so named from a note left with one of its victims,
leading to a series of murders that terrified every vegan.
It read, "I am a cannibal who does my best to eat healthy,
and vegans are the healthiest of all my desired meat.
Only a true vegan will yours truly eat.
Nothing artificial, no preservatives, mostly fresh food they consume.
Vegans are the healthiest and tastiest meat I have ever known,
so bid all of your vegan associates a hearty farewell,
should they cross paths with yours truly, The Vegan Cannibal."
The Vegan Cannibal was never apprehended, but its reign ceased,
when the vegans began consuming mass quantities of junk food and meat.
I ordered my whole gourmet restaurant staff
to serve my pals Molly and Max Giraffe
I humbly have to admit
the vegan meal was a hit
The tall order sparked a jaffy good laugh
If I thought you’d risk it,
I’d offer you brisket,
but since you’re a vegan,
unlike Chrissy Teigen,
would sooner be dead,
here, how ‘bout a Triscuit instead?
I bought you the vegan shoes,
but you still got pissed
because I told you makeup
was made of whale blubber.
I was sad when you broke up
with me, but it makes a
really funny story now.