Best Unlucky Poems

Bank robber Jim was one unlucky bloke
Went to draw his gun but the holster broke
It dropped on the bank floor
And went off with a roar
The shock was too much and he had a stroke...

Though he was unconscious he hadn't died
Woke in a coffin for his...

Continue reading...

knew a young man when i was a 
young man whose life had been 
screwed from the get-go/HEWA
SADRIFTINTHATWAYTHAT
SOMEAREWHENYOUCAN
LOOKINTOTHEIREYES&SEE
THESTARS/HADALLHE
NEEDEDHADENOUGHTOGET
SOMEGOODSTUFF&YETTHE
WEALTHOFSADNESSINHIS
EYESGREWTHEMOREYOU
CAMETOKNOWHIM/seems
his father was a test pilot for the
us of a & a company who spends
money to buy congressmen &
presidents in order to get more
wars started in order to...

Continue reading...

Beneath lie the remains of unlucky Jim
A great white shark made a meal of him
Fell off his surf board and hit by a wave
Half inside ‘Jaws’ and half in this grave.





Written on 13 September 2018

For a funny epitaph poetry contest
Sponsored by Jesse Rowe....

Continue reading...

Invisible predators steal my soul
taking me to a bowl of stale potato chips
dunking me down beneath the cigarette butts
That were not ever well-hidden in the bottom

Plunking me down firmly with their beady
little hands and their alien eyes.  Laughing maniacally
while I thrash around, trying to...

Continue reading...

Unforgiven but still in love
Out of control I caused you harm
I slipped fell down bruised and aching
but God pushed me back only to help me up
When the fog cleared I looked back to see the damage done
All the doors began to shut I knocked and...

Continue reading...

A blessed appointment so crucial, but missed the date
all things done so perfect but arrives at a closed gate
ill beyond any medicine
living like hell’s cousin
always on the wrong side of a rare misfortune's rate....

Continue reading...

I am a 2 gig desktop computer in the 21st century,
A phone model that’s just been phased out,
How can I convince the youngsters that I also had my days?
I am a Tata Nano right in the midst of a formula one race
Dwarfed and outshined

I am...

Continue reading...

There once was a Merman named Harry
Who was in love with a Mermaid named Mary
So he wrote her a poem
And invited her home
Unfortunatly, she turned out to be Larry...

Continue reading...

Unlucky snake



A slippery fellow named mandrake

From the zoo made a swift prison break

But a redback named Crunch

Had him for lunch

Down here our spiders eat snake.






 AND,if you don’t believe me check out the photographs on my blog

Limerick contest May 8th 2010...

Continue reading...

Why am I 
unlucky in love?
I try my best
to be myself.

No one to join me
for some fun.
I'm easy going.
come on hon'.

All joking aside,
I'm all alone.
All take for granted
what I don't own.

Someone to hold me
close at night.
Someone to know
when things aren't right.

Someone to help me
with the...

Continue reading...

While gazing at the sky
A gnat flew in my eye
Causing me to wince in pain

Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
So I could see clear again

When the gnat was dislodged
It came out very smudged
Like a soggy wet wheat grain


When next I watched the...

Continue reading...

Unlucky Penny

There once was a man from Virginny
Who found what he thought was a penny
But what he reached down
To pick from the ground
Jumped up and took hold of his ninny!*

~deborah burch
3/31/2012



*note: ninny---American (predominantly Southern) slang for nipple; breast;...

Continue reading...

 The first two limericks I posted the other day but Sara Kendrick requested that I write a sequel so added four more, I've included the two from the other day should you wish to read it in its entirety.


Bank robber Jim was one unlucky...

Continue reading...

My bunny got stuck, he ran out of luck 
When a pigeon swooped low on the roof 
To make things worse, help was scarce 
But my bunny remained aloof 

He spent every day in a hutch full of hay 
Above the trees and houses 
He...

Continue reading...

Bank robber Jim was one unlucky bloke
Went to draw his gun but the holster broke
It dropped on the bank floor 
And went off with a roar
The shock was too much and he had a stroke... 

Though he was unconscious he hadn't died
Woke in a coffin...

Continue reading...