Best Unfriend Poems
I'll have to unfriend you on Facebook
your postings are driving me mad.
I'm starting to think that you're lonely,
I'm starting to think that you're sad.
I don't want to know what your cat's called
or when he last went for a wee.
I couldn't care less where your Nan lives,
or what you might have for your tea.
I find all your illnesses funny,
can anyone suffer so much
Each day they seem to be different,
and you like to keep people in touch.
The people who answer your comments
all seem to have problems as well.
Half of them struggle with English,
the other half can't even spell.
So now you will have to excuse me
I'm taking my name off your list
I know I'll feel better without you
and I bet I won't even be missed....
Drip drip dribble dribble
google harps- here's a fiddle
How does fuzz evolve to stubble
Here's Fred Flinstone- Barney Rubble
WON 5 DOLLARS!- now I'm even
Online poker- guy named steven
Shop for blankets- buy throw pillows
Google hammock- weeping willows
Go to restroom- better lock it
Here's the key- brains your pocket
Keyboard's pencil- screen's your pad
Don't be a stranger- email dad
SEND to stepmom- SEND to cousin
Be specific- there's a dozen
SEND to grandma in the grave
SEND to bastard uncle - Dave
Where's Japan and where's Korea
Google maps is glad to see ya
Chat with Bennett- bash Obama
Poke your next door neighbors momma
Friend Dee Snyder- Twisted Sister
like a miss - poke your sister
Like a sir - unfriend a mam
Search Hulk Hogan- Uncle Sam
Write your daughters third grade teacher
Bash a priest- praise a preacher
Write your mom a prison letter
You know momma!- probably better
When your hand gets tired of typing Log on Youtube- watch some fighting
UFC- sometimes delightful
This guys girlfreinds being spiteful
Cat's in mirrors- fight their face
See some guy get sprayed with mace
Watch that clip from Tropic Thunder
Rock the Casba- Land down under
Fight the system- Fight the power
Search for bloopers- Austin Powers
Play online and fight for glory
Man this game is too damned gory
Watch the packers play the Bears
COME ON SLACKER!-PASSING WHERE?!!
POKE from brother- INBOX sister
called your phone- you must've missed'er
Supposed to work - be there at eight
It's almost nine- you're pretty late
Get to work- just tell them something
Man what happened?...It was nothing
A Dark Reflection
We are all hunters masked by Usernames and Handles
We capture the moments that eventually become rambles,
In our history of past and prehistoric posts that puncture
We yearn for likes and loves this desperate hunger,
Snap, Send, Screenshot,
Snap, Screenshot, Send,
We Filter others criticism and replace with illusions
Of the authenticity for that is pure delusion,
We change too much for others and our minds have altered
Our lack of consistency has been far too relevant,
Repost, Retweet, Republish,
Retweet, Republish, Repost,
The fragment of life caught in a picture is like a pet
We use it for laughter and love our needs are completely met,
We conceive Stories made of hopeful bliss
Alone we are sucked of joy like a dementors kiss,
Unfollow, Unfriend, Block,
Unfriend, Unfollow, Block,
We streak the social media universe with Hashtags and Vines
Our time deteriorates forever declined,
Although these platforms offer sorrows that are deadly
They also bring joy in a harmonious medley,
Look, Like, Love,
Like, Love, Look,
It connects through light boxes around the earth
Showing us an unimaginable worth,
It links us through the vast and titanic interwebs
It brings light and sight while dejection ebbs,
Friend, Follow, Forget
Friend, Follow, Forget
We fathom the magnitude of what it means to be a friend
We never meet we never eat we just like to play pretend,
Will it ever end
Missing links and broken ties our normal obstruction
Movie dates and walks in the park will help our construction,
We can build a better Story.
I caught you creeping around
with your spying eyes
Quick, furtive glances
betray your silent, stealthy movements
Human satellite camouflaging black cloud,
always in passing tear bursts,
secretly scans through a purse in my closet
Your dubious, devious actions
speak loud
Such churning, internal accusations
would make any insecure man proud
Furthermore, you compounded your fidelity lies,
when you installed web cam spying eyes
Privacy invasion of the worst kind —
But, I caught you though,
looking through my bedroom window
with a telescope
I had a Philip Marlowe
reconnaissance pro trailing you ...
sweet turn of the table
Let my diamond stylus disgust skip to the end,
this relationship is over ...
It’s time for me to unfriend
Here is some advice I guilt-freely give you:
Your spying eyes
will never truly let you see inside
the heart of another person
Unconditional trust
is the only way to ever off-site remotely know
what lay beneath the quilted hidden covers
of someone else’s soul
Please Unfriend Me
No slow paced emotions
In this hi-tech, jet age
Why wait to know the other
Over time
No use looking for secure and long lasting friendship
When the same is available
On the go
The face looks likeable
Just a click
But do follow the norm- be polite
Request him/her for friendship
I would love to see you
Doing the same face to face
Anyhow, don’t worry about gender and age
These things do not matter
Start a chat and then chatter
Friendship for sure has gone hep
Just a little tap
And voila
Both of you
Completely unknown
Never met in life persons
Are friends
And what is best
This friendship
Gets celebrated all over the world
By similar, like-minded people
Don’t worry if you’ve had your fill
Want to end the friendship
All you have to do is simply
Unfriend him
And that person
Is out of your life as if
He never existed on this planet in the first place
So you see
It’s all so simple
Man and emotions were making the
Darn thing complex
Now for those who are dumb
Can’t take sarcasm
Mate
Don’t hesitate
Feel free
Please unfriend me.
A Friend Request on Facebook
By Elton Camp
Facebook can get you into an awkward situation
When as a friend someone seeks your affirmation
For if their request you decide should be declined
It’s not reasonable to think that they won’t mind
One who perhaps was trying to get on better terms
Might become glad to see you eaten up with worms
If you accept, but then decide to unfriend them later
Of your very guts they are certain to become a hater
So, as you can see, it can easily become quite a fright
When you decide to get involved with a social website
Never look back
Never reminisce fondly
on things that weren't good for you in life
Don't be like Lot's wife ... don't look back
Righteous Lot went down to the land of Sodom
and got him a wife,
who bare him two daughters
Those three were the love of his life
But Lot loved God more ---
a lesson we all should never ignore
The things that God place in our life,
we can't let those things become more precious than God
Lot never did this,
thus he earned a good name
Cast the lot, lets see what God has to say:
The Lord said, Depart from Sodom today ...
right away, no delay
This is what the two angels had to say
Holy messengers sent to deliver Lot and his family
from the impending doom
But sadly, on the way out, as they were leaving,
Lot's wife looked back
What did she see that was so alluring:
Did she see future days of missing her father and mother,
sister or brother?
Or would she miss the pretty house she had built up:
Just getting saved wasn't enough,
did she want to take something else with her?
When she looked back, what did she see
that was so enticing?
I don't know for the life of me what it could be
What did she think she was gonna be missing?
Her friends and their wicked conversations without end?
Unfriend me then
When Lot's wife looked back, what did she see?
She saw the eternal glow
of brimstone fire falling from heaven like snow,
raining death down below
What was the price that she paid for looking back
on ashen memories?
She got turned into a pillar of salt
Look at what those dead memories bought,
the vanities she built up in life were all for naught
I believe her body was destroyed,
but her soul was saved
Because the two angels did indeed carry her away,
and saints are the salt of the earth
Nevertheless ...
Don't look back,
don't ever look back
What's back there will surely drag you down to hell
Don't look back,
don't ever look back
Remember Lot's wife, and how it didn't end well
Blasphemy
The caustic tongues of the evangelists,
Across all creeds and faiths,
Seem as brittle as an old bone.
For they promise heaven and they spew forth threats of hell
While neglecting the words of that man who walked in Galilee
'let him who is without sin, cast the first stone'
the caustic tongues of the evangelists...
across all religions
new-age and the ones of old
baffle me even as I hear
a single simplistic sermon
for they really do, view us all
as blind imbeciles
scurrying around like faithless vermin
the caustic tongues of the evangelists...
wag on and dazzle us with visions of an eternal paradise
while here and now
their hypocrisy festers
within their earnest
well-meaning eyes...
'...dil mein hai khwaaish-e-hoor-o-jannat
aur zaahir mein shauk-e-ibaadat
bas hamen sheikh-ji aap jaise
allah-waalon se allah bachaaye...'
'...in your heart you desire the maidens of heaven
yet in the now you practice the rituals of piety
o' sheikh, may allah protect me
from the people of allah like yourself...'
is my tongue as caustic as the tongues I write about?
if so, then glad am I
for they shouldn't be the only ones
who preach and rant and continually shout
from their pulpits ever so high in the sky
from their hubris of comfort in possessing the 'truth'
from their 'knowing' that heaven or hell
awaits both the strong as well as the meek
while oblivious to the reeking foul smell
that encourages prejudice and hate
and visions not of peace
but of endless chants and prayers
which they, in their opium haze
rattle on and on
as they never seem to cease to speak
and though I’m sure that all this bile that I have spewed
will threaten
hurt
and offend
friend and
unfriend and
acquaintance alike
but...
take pity on me instead
for it'll surely be I
who'll burn eternally
impaled by a benevolent god
on a slightly warmer than normal day in hell
on a crude wooden spike.
Why does one have one bazillion fb friends…
Many not even know their face or name.
People Like it--Share it--but did they
Open the link or watch the video—first…
It may have not been what it seemed.
Everything on the internet is not real,
Be very careful what you believe.
People air their dirty laundry.
Pull their shirts up and pushing paints down
Thinking they are hot and need to show off.
Bathroom selfies are ugly even if you are hot stuff.
Remember the saying get a room…
Take all the mushy stuff off your wall and close the door.
Then there are the post about how great some girl’s man is.
Looks like a copy and paste—from last month’s Great Man…
Maybe he was not so great after all. Wonder how long the next one will last.
Do you ever go back and look at your posts.
Do you even care if you look like a joke.
FaceBook is not so fun anymore.
I have reduce my use--I am down to 28 friends.
And I know each one of them by name
And something about them.
People get offended, just plain bent out of shape.
How dare you unfriend them--
This seems to mean you are mad at them…Really…
Hard to be mad at people you never speak to.
If I were mad at U--you would know.
Family or not I don’t care--I have had enough.
Most are too busy for a real visit anyhow.
You know the kind—
Where you actually sit in the same room without a screen.
Speak words out loud and listen with your hearts.
I do not want everything in life to all happen
In a Click--On a Like--or With a Share…
Time to move on---Facebook is just dead air.
Copyright © fonda anne….mooreofme....mamao
If I am not fun
or interesting, you can
easily unfriend.
Here is a public service warning:
Don’t go cyber strolling after dark!
Reliable sources say
there’s a lot of trolls lurking in the digital park
Anti-social beasts
who don’t have a real life
So they go virtual to release their latent anger,
often late at night
They mass communicate
with the purpose to intimidate or obfuscate
Their favorite activity is trolling,
hateful cat fishing gets their juices flowing
Personal data streams
is where they like to dip their malware toes in
Trolling with every unsavory unfriend
Ain’t nothing ever sociable about their calls,
they only got weird, irksome point of views
Cyber dating a troll is always bad news
When the only life you’re living
is inside a virtual world
And the base obsession you’re giving
is to an avatar girl
Then you’re a lonely troll
lurking underneath the terabyte bridge
Hiding in the deep end of the cyber watering hole,
hoping to catch a chatty guppy unaware
Trolls dwell in the dark net ... user beware!
As old Facebook friends
pass, when is it considered
right to unfriend them?
you perm and prime you shun;
You polish up your own stone;
You talk trash and jive;
You shine of uncertainty;
While yet you continually promise me;
Heller Shelter relish tones;
Cut my landline telephone;
Imprison me where you say I belong;
give me plenty of accreditation;
Concrete placement prevarication;
Who is my judge, where is my jury;
Placement on "HOLD" it's my mister-minor, huh!!
What is this a joke,
And just what is a JUKE JOint?
Fancy dancer, Chicago headliner;
Broken deflated football from Lincoln/Omaha Nebraska;
What is thing call "the CORN HUSKERS"
By chance the populace can remember
Bob Gibson, Robert Boozer who...
Maybe Gabriel Union who...
And just where is this place
What is this space that home to about 400 million
From the hood I understood, from Tech High I held my pride;
In the ghetto was that fellow teachers said He ain't gonna amount to nothing
1970's Black power you perm and prime you shun;
In the ghetto inner city polish up your stone;
Speaking Swahili you talkN trash and jive;
Politically correct master target you shine of uncertainty;
While yet you continually unpromising me;
Heller Shelter relish tones, still haten Deacon Jones?;
Cut my landline telephone on Facebook unfriend me;
Imprison me with closed eyes and mediocrity
Where do you say I belong, not here son...
git on, get gone;
give me plenty of accreditation;
Concrete placement prevarication;
Who is my judge, where is my jury;
Placement on "HOLD" it's my mister-minor, huh!!
What is this a joke,
Your life's been revoked,
Even Lucifer wants you gone
Too much heat for him, ha ha!!
Chicago's the best...
Nebraska (what) is next...
So stop playing over and over again
Curtis Mayfield and pull on the WINANS
yet I still feel even in trouble times then the best decade was the 1970's
A BROTHERLY LOVE VERSE TO MY BROTHER Freddie Robinson Jr. a brotherly dedication
8/16/19
Written by James Edward Lee Sr. 2019©
Going on facebook is what people do
like this, comment on that, ask How are you?
say where your going, where you have been
play Words With Friends, hope I will win
Add random people, some maybe your friends
poke them and poke them, that's the new trend
report/block the things you don't want to see
unfriend some people, but still have one thousand and three
Update your status and post random ****
people been doing this on facebook to much, that is it
O look, there's another person complaining
this is what I see on facebook, don't get mad at me
I am just saying
We keep to ourselves amidst a fight within
We dream of dating Billy Joel's daughter then wake up alone again
In silence we erect portals to honor the dead;
Shattered fragments making mutations out of store bought bread,
As Poe did having felt a funeral in his brain they complain;
The Talk Of The Town...
In Summer we make our amends out of its setting sun undone,
Shaped dreams through the sky as sitting down blanket a passerby
We make words out of complex circles then paint a frosted face on
Shattered once again unfriend me,
We wait every year for our vacation then realize we can't take one,
Deadly vipers filled with poison in the intellect of our minds lazy diamonds,
We make wings out of painted glass to grasp a meaning or notion in thought;
The talk of the town...
Stay clear of the pathway that leads to destruction & death
We must all confess a tear drop burdens the angry soul
An eclipse of the sun had tainted my inner vision
Now was their something I had been missing?
Nails with barbed wire fences felt a funeral in my brain again.
Having hoarders in the soul I'm way out of control!