Best Twee Poems
Got home awound twee (I was dwunk as a wouse)
Awose pwomptly at six wit' dwy cotton-mouth
I knew wather soon my day was gonna' bwow
When I stwuggled outta' bed and stubbed my wight toe
Fwopped back on the mattwess cwying and twitchin'
Staggoid back up and wimped to the kitchen
Stumbled to the counter to bwew Folger's bwend
Spiwwed it down my Hanes and boint my widdle fwend
Hobbled to the bathwoom to wustle up some Tums
Twipped on my fwip-fwop and bwuised my weft bun
Should not have cawoused wit' owe Bugsey wast night
Now my head hoits and de wight is too bwight
If I had not dwunk gin for my mowale booster
I coulda' swept in trew 'dat wascally wooster
(Don't feel wike wunning dat siwwy wat-wace
Tink I might caw in sick at the Woony-Tune pwace)
Oh the humanity
the humanity
Oh spare me the grief
thy fake tears
woe is me, mentality
syrupy behaviour
Munchausen propensity
it sticks between my teeth
Oh spare me the pathos
ham acting baloney
Phoney and pathetic
pennyroyal tea fatigue
Histrionic vagaries
self righteous piety
Oh spare me the maudlin
attention seeking thievery
Drowning in poignancy
sentimental molasses
Throw yourself to the floor
overdosing in twee
Oh spare me forever
stomach churning violins
emotional instability
Wallowing in saccharine
exaggerated sob stories
But most of all
the absence of apology
Sentimentality Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Julia Ward
25/05/22
Twee…Twee,
Twi…twiti…twi;
We are birdie sing a song,
wake up Sun,
It’s time to work;
Ghosty night gone,
was past,
Now in bright side of life;
‘O’ my Sun give us warmth,
Glisten us with your ignis;
Twee…Twee,
Twi…twiti…twi;
Florets they bloom,
Wet in ravishing dew,
Strewing tipsy scent;
Wavy breeze cooling us,
We flutter dance;
Its a time beak to beak,
We are birdie sing a song,
Twee…Twee,
Twi…twiti…twi;
© Sadashivan Nair?
The man looked at his twinkle
Shucks what's become of me
I used to rise and shine
Now all i do is pee
Yoda said, "Size doesn't matter
Saying take a look at me
I have the force behind me"
But still I am so twee
"Come close and feel the force
Around us, you and me".
"Everywhere the fire" Said I
Looking down hopefully
Guess it hasn't reached that far
Will stoke the burners well
"Do or do not, there is no try"
Are the words that Yoda tells
So next time when in the loo
Trying to raise a smile
Remembering what yoda has
I outdo him by a mile.
da big puppee wun away twees ma ma get foe mee peese we no do that baby go bye bye hims bad bo-bo dats gweezwy dada whaauh maa maa say no doggie wiee where him go dolly dat wayee waite hunnie hunnie nooowaa mawmie wiee daddie in twee
So you think you are a poet,
but your work, it don’t show it
Lots of Yeats and Shakespeare
rip offs; Wordsworth aped, many
spin-offs
Puerile nonsense, bibs and bows,
weep for me, and wipe my nose
“I’m an expert,” what a laugh!
why’d you write such utter chaff!
Hymns and sermons in profusion,
writ with gnostic’s odd confusion
But where’s “the juice,”the meat
and gravy? Please no more on
curls and baby
Writing poetry is a thrill, not twee
lines to make one ill; so why not
pen about real life; hearts, emotions,
hormones, strife?
(With apologies to the late Charles Bukowski )
Verdwyn
Gespruit en toe vergete met gewete van papier
Besluit te neem om als te los wat hierso agter bly
Eers drie; toe een; toe twee; toe vier
Die som van toekomsblik vir jou - maar eerder meer vir my
Die aand was koud en hunkring sterk sou waardes my verpas
Uitnodigend - en kort voor lank was jy my warm jas
Maar soos ‘n fondament bly ek die een wat agterbly
Ek doen en werk verwagtend want die vrug het my verly
As steunpilaar vir jare nog, sou ek die las moes dra
Vergete hoe die woeker-nag my meer as dit sou vra
Ons oes is nou die vrugte van die saad van liefdesdaad
Jou jas in my kas wil nie meer pas – ‘n las bly inderdaad
Eers twee, toe vier; toe drie dan een
Jou beurt die anker rol te speel, wyl ek die winter nag alleen
tot in die lente steeds sal wees – al is die kinders ook by my
Groei my enigheid tot bo, waar die Wysheid met sy hulp my lei.
Imogene
Imogene,
where are you sleeping?
Perhaps I should
ask no more,
I'll concern myself
with nothing
And nothing
I am grateful for.
I imagine you
knitting smiles
Out of the threads
of what we were,
Perhaps, one day,
I'll wear the gown
And your nakedness
will be in there.
Imogene, do you, too,
think of me?
Maybe your thoughts
are too pure,
Willingly
I would have loved you
If it were not for the
jealousy I endure.
I remember
how you kissed me
Upon my
lovelorn brow,
Perhaps, in time,
that love will die
And to your memory
I will then bow.
Imogene, can you ever
love me again?
Damn! This is not
how's it's meant to be,
My sentiments
have become poetic,
If not,
a little twee.
I will despise you today
as my nemesis
In my futile attempt
at sorrow,
Yet, wherever
you are sleeping
I will love you
again tomorrow.
"Other Worlds"
Drifting through
my mind once
Apollonian
I am enticed
by the larger
Dionysus
I am
a very small creature
twee, so
point.on.the.delivery
irrelevant
a novel conundrum
where? the exact position to place?
like a hummingbird with
fast beating wings
violently violet and honeydew beak
singing towards
The Fields of Elysian
All that IS
I am
Recklessly Unknown
blending into the middle path
no standout
I am now
Divine
Other Worlds
beckon me
For what Was
is not Now and
never was sanctuary
I am beguiled
through an
opening mind
Inwards hooked
the magnet tugs relentlessly
at my free willed warm tides
I leave behind
without a care
the wasted -
those living in
the broken shards
of my frozen memories
they are all submerging
Tied up in sheets
the weight of senseless stories
throughout the years, sink rapidly
they bare me no life essence, they are
wrapped around the fast falling
anchor of acquiescence
They will rust and perish
in the forgotten
lost chronicles of time
A past and irredeemable future
dissolving, fizzing like a soluble drug
the tincture swallowed
In one breath gone
Now
emerges
a sharp escape
I am all butter soft
and melting
safe and aeons
away
(LadyLabyrinth / 2020)
gvlm/llb
Bassnectar & Dorfex Bos - Other Worlds [Reflective Part 2]
https://youtu.be/q_hBf1ghAGE
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elysium
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollonian_and_Dionysian
Twintig tien tot nou
So vinnig soos jy inwurm… in troosprys vlees-genot
..en dink dat dit so lank sal hou; Pasop vir toekoms lot!
En as ek dan verkeerd mag wees – bewys dit dat jy het
presies gedoen wat ek kon sien; Die fout was niè ons bed!
As ek die feite reg verstaan; en my gedagtes dwaal
na daardie tyd toe hy besluit; my by my werk kom haal –
en saam met ons… aan tafel sit – selfs oorslaap vir die nag…
Die legkaartstuk ontbloot aan my…: dat jy hom toè al smag!
En effens met die tyd verloop; steeds in ons ou verhaal.
(Dit was daai aand wat èk weg was) jou skandes jou inhaal.
Gesê dat dit ‘n hoorsê was…; jy hom nie aan wou raak…
Twee jaar later, facebook wys…, jul foto amper naak!
Nou sê jy my dat ek verbrou en jou wou agterlaat?
Terwyl die laaste legkaartstuk jou sondes teen my haat
wil ek probeer om aan te gaan…; my lewe op te bou
in plaas daarvan om blindelings my drang te onderhou.
Ek draai my rug finaal op jou, maak jy maar soos jy moet.
Mag hy jou gelukkig maak. Mag jy hom alles gee.
Ek was my hand onskuldig met - my vredevol’ gemoed
terwyl ek dan die laaste traan…; hier van my wang af vee.
Muscles ache and backbones creak
New things bought become antique
Metals tarnish, plaster cracks
Paintings fade, their colour lacks
Rocks erode and woodcraft weathers
As does brick and hands and leather
So can't this work on poetry?
A problem for a bard trainee
I've read - I've learnt - my knowledge thin
My writing's young - how do I win?
Shift new to old - you'll never guess
To age my words - my verse distress
Change you to thou or thee or thy
Kick in wherefore instead of why
From shall to shalt and does to dost
And will to wilt to age adjust
Nay here and there but hither thither
Dally, tarry 'stead of dither
On some occasions add an "e"
Ye olde shoppe - example twee
Prithee sprinkle -eth or -est
To bringeth years I thinkest best
Methinks this mayst not spake the truth
Nor verily nor so forsooth
Perchance deceipt myself become
To transform words is rather rum
To scribe like quothed by Will Shakespeare
Tis most corrupt - a thin veneer
And so anon I stop this verse
Afore olde English gets much worse
Entry to contest "Old Jewelry or Just Old Things or Old, Old Poems"
Written 2nd November 2016 or hundreds of years ago?
They tell me I’m obsessed with you.
That makes it sound like something bad--
As if breathing were some twee fetish for oxygen,
Or eating, an unwholesome food-fixation.
Can being compelled by bonds so sweet be wrong,
Or happiness be held a noisome thing?
If this is slavery, then joy must be my chains,
My manacles your gentle smile, your kiss.
We gladly bend our necks to yokes so fair
When favored with the servitude of love!
July 2, 2019
This little poem was written for the "Slave to love" contest, but was not considered good enough to place. Ah, well, chacun a son gout, I guess. I must confess I am pleased with it, notwithstanding.
I remember one special Easter like it were only yesterday:
the vet gave us miraculous drugs for our ailing boy*
(we’d feared he’d have to be put down without delay);
he sat by the golden daffodils in our garden - sorry to employ
such twee imagery, but it looked like they were trumpeting with joy.
*Our first dog, Paddy, who had another quality year of life
Jack Horne, 1st March for Francine’s Daffodils contest
Little Naughty Wabbit.
Mummy there's a wabbit in the garden
says Charlie whose just three.
Mummy there's a wabbit in the garden
has he come to play with me?
Mummy can you see the wabbit?
He's in the garden by the twee
I think the wabbit's waiting
and wants to play with me.
Oh! Charlie that little rabbit you see there
by that tree has escaped from next doors garden
through the hedgerow, can you see?
He's a naughty little rabbit
and we need to take him back.
That naughty little rabbit belongs to little Jack.
Mummy can I have wabbit for my very own and
when he goes into Jacks garden then Jack can bring
him home, because he'll be my little wabbit.
A little wabbit of my own.
Sprake vs Skrywe
‘n Geskrewe woord kan nie vergaan, sal altyd sigbaar bly.
Maar hy wat nou die woord kan hoor, kan waarneem wat jy voel.
Die letter deur die oog gesien kry later eers sy doel.
Waar mondelings gesprekke vloei - sal die siel sy pasmaat kry
Want onpersoonlik koud en kul is woorde op papier:
Geen oogkontak, geen liggaamstaal, slegs twee-dimensioneel
Te maklik om dit uit te laat en te vinnig om te deel
word srywe, e-pos, SMS gesels se nuutste gier
Waar ons verbale wisselwerk die wonder laat gebeur
Groei siel-tot-siel uit mond-tot-mond; ‘n Liefde kan nou bot…
Want in die begin was daar die Woord, en Hy was self ook God
Teenwordig in ons kuiertjie kan Hy ons woord verwerp of keur
Slegs dan is dit wat binne in die siel en hart aangaan
Gelyk in tempo, en in pas, met die woorde van jou maat.
Want dialoog is almal s’n, en almal kan dit praat
Maar ‘n warm woord van jou na my – Maak dat ek jou verstaan