Best Symptoms Poems
I’ve been here before
Knowing what to expect
Or so I had thought
This time, I’m perplexed
Similar exterior
I gave little thought
But the inside is backwards
I, surly, am lost
This was not the first time
I assure you, I’ve felt
That I’m losing my mind
Losing touch with myself
The crowds were blurred
My feet were planted
They knew, where they were
And took it for granted
Becoming a child
I felt so afraid
I prayed for a grown up
To lead the right way
Desperation, like heat
As it moved through my veins
Searching my pockets
In hopes to find change
Nothing came free
I already knew
But I’ve lost everything
A panic, would stew
Flush cheeks, sweaty palms
I’ve developed a stutter
Don’t slow down for me
Move on to another
Strangers, annoyed
I’m just in the way
Anything that I do
Turns out, a mistake
Yet another feature
Starring ADHD
Make me a teacher
Dignify me
Schizo got my white man knowin’
What papa felt like bein’ black.
Mania got me actin’
like a strawberry
fiendin’ fo’ crack.
Got OCD and I cain’t get my hands clean
Passin’ out on my carpet
Because I’m high off my bleach
Spider crawlin’ past my head makin’ me
Panic
Anxiety attack ragin’ on and now I’m frantic
Nothin’ left but suicide to get rid of this pain
But, if I kill myself I’ll bring reproach on my God’s Name
Can’t even preach
What example do I show?
When people look at me
They have to ask
What could she possibly know?
Tired of the fight
But, I know if I let go…
I’ll never stop-
The curse of bipolar is that I’ll over-do everything
Wind up on skid row
Without a pen-ny
And some type of venereal disease
From having so many lovers
and Probably a bunch of kids
With none of them wanting sick crazy me for a mother
So I lock myself in my bedroom
And become a hermit
Write hate love poems on my laptop
And pretend I have wit
Dream of contact
But, have to refuse to be touched
Because even one look from a man is simply too much
And I’m out of control
I am only normal
I just want to make love
Sick of great sex
I just want to make love
I’m Crazy and Lonely for Love
CAN I DIE TONIGHT?
?
The loneliness is unbearable
The misunderstanding is crippling
All the years of active rejection
Slowly engulfing the being
How I thought them to be the worst
But it’s the passive rejection
That’s what’s really killing me
The quiet shunning of who I am
The subtle hints that I’m not invited
It’s quite evil really
Unaware of why,
My bitterness grows
Thus if I ask, they’ll point to a monster
The monster they themselves created
Once a wide-eyed optimist
Transformed by the continuous rejection
See, it initiates the group’s strength
Knowing they shared in the killing
Leaving the remains to the birds
Starved the soul is
Craving something
Anything, a heart can latch on to
But nothing is there
Everyone leaves
Deep thoughts, an empty stare
Drown myself in music and writing
And so it does heal
The slow, gentle numbing of the emotions
Of the deep pain I feel
Living through the art form
The only life I have
An outcast, the lone wolf
My loud howl from the top of the mountain
It’s impact felt only from within
Inclusion, I often question if that’s all I desire
Inclusion simply for the sake of inclusion
It’s not, but how pleasant it would be to finally feel it
Perhaps just until the right ones come along
My feelings are a dark empty abyss
I feel everything, and yet nothing
Impossible to express, as even I am unaware
I’m getting lost in my head again
Overthinking and zoning
Suppose it is explainable
As I haven’t gotten much sleep
Symptoms Of A Paralyzing Depression
Course through my veins
And I am aware of them
And I am scared of them
Yet what can I do, surely can’t tell anyone
How would I live with myself
So I’ll keep it to my own
Knowing my burdening of them, their cold pity
It would prove them right
All along, they knew I was a loser
This self-fulfilling prophecy always occurs
Labeled as a rebel, an outcast
A loser, a pariah
I want my feelings to be known, want them understood
Want them gently caressed
But it seems that will never happen
I am socially depressed
The coughing, the headaches, the sneezing
This flu bug is not at all pleasing
I’m down with the croup
So, I’ll drink chicken soup
and pray the soup high ends my wheezing
Thoughts displaced by rolling palpitations,
From left to right grow these numbing sensations,
A face which spirals down, drooping from smile to frown.
Time hibernates in this moment protracted,
Legs bow and shake to our drama just acted,
Senses into overdrive, does pain show you’re still alive?
Oxygen masks, Coxes’ rowing commands,
Heart beat machines is what love demands,
“You need time to relax”, prescriptions from Quacks,
Is love just a commonplace heart attack?
Whatever happens when days counted as weeks?
And years counted as astrological countdowns
What ever happened to disco rap battling drums?
On streets filled graffiti and sand castles
Whatever happens to shoes with no laces?
And bras with no straps
Backpack ladybugs with taps
Bell bottoms Montreal
Sweden Russia Columbia streets
Backward aimed down guns strictly meant for
Cisco band operative thieves
Whatever happens to justice stringing down a cubical wall?
Hanged down gavels London has fall
Lint brushed suits and gated Citadels
Bells ring time church broken pulpits spill
What ever happened to make up brushing Mack trucks?
Highway in France
Long stroking discipline Chinese to Japan
Whatever happened to words screaming off a page?
Sandy still beat breathing cells covered backward again
What happened to life metaphoric acronym?
Made fun of stage left to mend
Jokes to tell anchors to sail
What happened to the decrease in operating jail to sale?
What happened man made fictional crap
Backsliding genocide and presidents’ mysteriously vanish
What happened is told with a story that has no end?
Stopped up water turned brown cased in a sprite river bend
What happened what happened if the time was not set?
It will be broken and told to lie up a case with no Chef
No knife no swords
The word would not be told
What happen to happen?
Happen has caught a cold!
We'll
hate it
if they do-
hate it if they
don't
I know not the color of your eyes,
But I know what is in them.
I know how they analyze,
Picking apart every mundane asset
Of a universe we find bewitching;
How they dance with understanding,
Reflecting a life most dedicated
To the art of knowing more.
And I know how they fear,
With cautious, scrutinizing movements
Borne of trust and the betrayal that took it;
Eyes I know will look to mine
And beg this world to see the same—
That I would never leave.
I know not the sound of your voice,
But I know what it speaks.
I know how it speaks control,
With the smooth, methodical candor
Of a sentence well thought-out;
A voice with many thousand days
Of consideration and control,
Experiments in communication.
And I know how it speaks of melancholy,
Of ages spent in ageless wait
For one that may not be;
That chronic touch of cynicism
Brought by ancient mechanism,
A defense by sarcasm.
I know so little of you,
And yet I know enough.
So though I may not know your face
When first I pass you by,
Just look in my direction long
That I may catch your eye.
And though I may not hear your voice
When first you call my name,
Just speak aloud, as to yourself:
I'll hear you all the same.
And though we may not know at first
When we have finally met,
Keep watch for symptoms well-rehearsed
And I will find you yet.
sharp sound of church bells
on a cold crystal clear night
warns heaven and hell
to try harder to do right
not give up on the good fight
strong gusts of north wind
ominous clouds now hover
no good they portend
bad time to feel hung over
makes good sense to find cover
cannot seem to breathe
chest seems filled up with cement
just able to wheeze
was this something to prevent
before starting to lament?
always in God's hands
strange conditions amplify
carbon footprint lands
should we continue the lie
while the planet starts to die?
Love soaked water kitchen porter barter with the gentle lentil casserole carpenter cloth froth poshy pudding pie on the table maple staple leaves to the kitchen table nails snails sitting in the garden nitting little hats flats bathroom mats in a row snow flowing water wash waste not blood clot plot slot machine cash withdrawal symptoms
night time feelings resonate me off the wooden flooring bath bubbles colour flies sink into the morning tiredness hold me sold me told me fold me gold laced poison placed me faced me knees muddy sink submerge
Inhale
my heartbeat slows,
blood sluggish
through stenotic vessels
unwilling to expand,
to breathe
to let blood flow
untenable, this suffocation
this dampening
it speaks of tired eyes,
of stolid limbs,
of stultified need
torpid blood,
when will you give up
your self-imposed stricture,
your closely guarded fear,
your wariness
and inhale
At first the thirst
For better for worst
Undying frustration.
How can I beat this thing?
A PERFECT poem, flawlessly created, a win.
Maybe, I was starting to think that
I didn't miss you as much as I thought.
But then I saw your name.
It was just suddenly there.
And my breath caught,
Heart stopped,
Chest thumped,
Knees locked,
Eyes stung,
Mouth shut,
Head ached,
Tongue stuck,
Hand flinched,
Toes curled,
Skin froze,
Blood burned.
Who am I trying to kid?
I miss you more than ever.
Life is inherently difficult. It is its cornerstone
Awakened, striving to tie up all wear and tears
Respect you've given, the kindness you've shown
Will still offer me vigor and be my exulting gear?
Awakened, striving to tie up all wear and tears
To be truly human, fully conscious, and awake
Will still offer me vigor and be my exulting gear?
Feud grew fray, brother with brother, and no spake.
To be truly human, fully conscious, and awake
Oblivious to what Dramatis personae uttered;
Feud grew fray, brother with brother, and no spake
Will be thrown out of the nest in a steady world?
Oblivious to what Dramatis personae uttered;
Must live each time, as if it were at the beginning
Will be thrown out of the nest in a steady world?
Facing life head-on lessens our ought-clinging.
Must live each time, as if it were at the beginning
Respect you've given, the kindness you've shown
Facing life head-on lessens our ought-clinging
Life is inherently difficult. It is its cornerstone.
Written: December 08, 2022
2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 22 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Mark Toney
Symptoms of illness:
No appetite for eating,
Disbarred from fitness.