Symptoms of a Paralyzing Depression

The loneliness is unbearable The misunderstanding is crippling All the years of active rejection Slowly engulfing the being How I thought them to be the worst But it’s the passive rejection That’s what’s really killing me The quiet shunning of who I am The subtle hints that I’m not invited It’s quite evil really Unaware of why, My bitterness grows Thus if I ask, they’ll point to a monster The monster they themselves created Once a wide-eyed optimist Transformed by the continuous rejection See, it initiates the group’s strength Knowing they shared in the killing Leaving the remains to the birds Starved the soul is Craving something Anything, a heart can latch on to But nothing is there Everyone leaves Deep thoughts, an empty stare Drown myself in music and writing And so it does heal The slow, gentle numbing of the emotions Of the deep pain I feel Living through the art form The only life I have An outcast, the lone wolf My loud howl from the top of the mountain It’s impact felt only from within Inclusion, I often question if that’s all I desire Inclusion simply for the sake of inclusion It’s not, but how pleasant it would be to finally feel it Perhaps just until the right ones come along My feelings are a dark empty abyss I feel everything, and yet nothing Impossible to express, as even I am unaware I’m getting lost in my head again Overthinking and zoning Suppose it is explainable As I haven’t gotten much sleep Symptoms Of A Paralyzing Depression Course through my veins And I am aware of them And I am scared of them Yet what can I do, surely can’t tell anyone How would I live with myself So I’ll keep it to my own Knowing my burdening of them, their cold pity It would prove them right All along, they knew I was a loser This self-fulfilling prophecy always occurs Labeled as a rebel, an outcast A loser, a pariah I want my feelings to be known, want them understood Want them gently caressed But it seems that will never happen I am socially depressed